Of Dreams and Regrets
by Ravenclaw992
Summary: Snow White bites the poisoned apple...and falls into a strange dream where her dark self has succeeded in killing the Queen and she agrees to marry none other than Rumpelstiltskin. Two dark forces bound together...what's the worst that could happen?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time. ABC does. Lucky them. **

_A/N: First off, this was partly inspired by my wonderful muse, DaesGatling! (By the way, everyone: OUAT Abridged series is a must-read!) This is meant to be a fun, light fic for Dark Snow and Rumpel. Oh, the chaos that will ensue…you'll have to read on and find out what I mean. _

_Enjoy, everyone! _

_**Of Dreams and Regrets**_

_**Chapter One**_

Snow White willingly followed Regina across the grassy plains to the hill where it all began. There was a grave now, underneath the tree. It served as a reminder of the love Regina lost—a love that made her dark to the core. All the while, Snow mentally prepared for the confrontation that was coming.

It was kind of hard to do, what with the Queen's black lacy dress flapping around everywhere. It was really rude, but…_That has to be the most outrageous leather outfit I've ever seen. How can she even walk with it sticking to her like that? _

_And how can a Queen be so blind as to ignore the truth in front of her? Truly it is her mother to blame for Daniel's death, not me! But she's caused me so much pain for her lost love—she doesn't want to see it any other way. _

Regina was smirking down at Snow as she held the apple before her. But even her thoughts were distracted by the young princess. _What the hell kind of furry ensemble is that? How many squirrels did she have to kill to make that thing? And she says I'm the heartless one. _

"Your body will be your tomb," Regina was saying, the skin of the red apple shining in the sunlight. One bite and she would be lost in an eternal sleep, swimming in her regrets.

_I regret not leaving tongue marks on that mirror…I regret breaking Happy's favorite mug and making him cry…I regret not having children. Oh gods, I want children! Lots and lots of children with little stuffed animals and who cuddle with you when they're scared of storms and throw their food into their father's face! I regret it all! _

Making her decision, Snow White gingerly picked up the apple and gazed solemnly at this Queen who had saved her life once, and who now sought revenge on her.

"You've won," Snow declared, biting down into the apple. Almost instantly, her throat closed up and her eyes grew wide. The color drained from her face. Her knees buckled and her body collapsed onto the grassy hill, the apple rolling from her fingers.

And all the while the Queen laughed. All the while…

…as Snow White slipped into the strangest dream of her life.

* * *

"I need your help…to kill the Queen," Snow declared emotionlessly as she stood before Rumpelstiltskin, the notorious dealmaker. There had been a cold, detached manner about her ever since drinking that potion…and she found she rather liked it.

"Now we're talkin'," Rumpelstiltskin practically squealed with glee, gliding off to fulfill her dark request. Snow was unbothered by the severity of her actions—obviously the world would be much better with one less back-stabbing, stuck-up Queen.

Grumpy hopelessly gaped as Rumpel fixed together a bow, plucking the string like a harp. Snow smiled. _Perfect for getting rid of the vermin. The Queen always did look a bit like an oversized crow to me. _

"Just out of curiosity, what would I have to do in return?" Snow couldn't stop staring at the bow—it would solve all her problems. Revenge was so sweet.

Rumpel feigned innocence, drawing close to her face. _Come closer and I might bite, _she thought, running her tongue across her teeth.

"Do? You don't have to do anything," he assured her. Snow scoffed at him. Did he think she was some naïve little princess?

"Please. There's always a price with you. Last time it was my hair. What'll it be this time? My clothes?" Rumpel grimaced at her furry ensemble.

"Dearie, that outfit would stick out of my closet like a sore thumb. I prefer leather, not…_squirrels," _he sneered, motioning distastefully to the odd fur. Snow pouted her lip, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What do you have against squirrels?" Grumpy shot at the dealmaker. _Clearly some little dwarf is offended. _

"Exactly," Snow agreed. Grumpy sighed with relief. "They're delicious when you roast the meat just right. And—never forget the salt." Grumpy blanched, swearing under his breath. He ripped off his hat and rubbed his bald head.

"To answer your question, Snow…how about a proposal?" His tongue rolled seductively over the last word. Snow narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"What kind of proposal?" She wandered away to examine a clutter of strange objects on Rumpel's table. Grumpy looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him.

"The "walk down the aisle-here comes the bride-sugary cake-dance until we're drunk-'til death do us part" kind. And if we're talking death…I have to warn you, darling. It's going to be a looooong time."

Grumpy pressed a hand to his chest as though having a heart attack. _Oh, just keel over already! All you do is complain and mope about Stealthy, anyway, _Snow grumbled inside her head.

"Is this proposal required?" Snow's tone was flat and cold as her heart was empty. Rumpel imagined he liked it better than the sweet, honorable Snow White. Those two lovebirds were much too sappy for their own good.

_Wouldn't it be fun to conjure two little puppets and mock them? 'Oh, Snow, darling! I can't live without you!' 'Oh, Charming who is not so charming, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me!' _

"Required? Of course not, dearie. What kind of man would I be if I forced you into a binding marriage? That would just be…heartless." Rumpel touched a hand to his chest with an over-exaggerated offended expression.

"Sounds like something you would enjoy," Snow retorted, tracing a finger along the cap of a vial. "Well, better you than…what's-his-face. Charlie." Rumpel grinned, tenting his fingers together.

"Snow, are you serious?" Grumpy gritted his teeth, eyes boggling. Snow rolled her eyes heavenward. The glee vanished from Rumpel's face as he pointed an accusing finger. _Bad dwarf, bad! Mind your elders. _

"Aren't you just one to judge, _elf!_ You're in love with the bloody Sugarplum Fairy! They're the worst." Grumpy spun towards Rumpel, raising his fists.

"You don't like fairies? Who doesn't like fairies?" Snow peered over her shoulder.

"I don't like fairies. They're oversized, sparkling mosquitoes." Snow abruptly smashed a book on the table as if squishing one. A malicious grin crept over her red lips. Rumpel looked like he had just fallen madly in love with the dark princess, ready to woo her. The dealmaker was nearly bouncing on air.

"That's my girl!" Grumpy stared between the two of them, exasperated. Rushing over to Snow, he grabbed her arms and forced her to look at him. Snow's lips curled angrily.

"Don't…touch…me…dwarf!" Instantly, her knee came up and connected with a most sensitive spot. Grumpy shrieked shrilly and dropped to his knees, clasping a hand over that now throbbing area. Tears streamed down his grizzly, bearded face.

"Too bad I don't have a cure for that," Rumpel muttered, spinning his wheel slowly. Grumpy pounded his fists on the floor in agony. Somehow, he managed to stand even though he swayed clumsily.

"L-listen, Snow….ow…you can't marry this guy! He's…he's a creepy imp!" The wheel immediately grinded to a halt and a sour look crossed Rumpel's face. Snow bit her lip in anticipation. _Oh, you silly dwarf. You've done it now. If only I had a bowl of popcorn. _

"Excuse me, dearie. Are you insulting me in my own home?" Rumpel brutally circled around Grumpy like a vulture. He paused just behind the dwarf, giving Snow a front-row view of his backside. "I have half a mind to change you into a puppet and use you as firewood!"

Snow arched an eyebrow, the situation at hand lost on her. She was far too busy…admiring. _I bet that Charmin guy can't pull off leather pants. Hmm…I think I like guys in leather. _

"Half a mind? Gee, I wonder what happened to the other half," Grumpy snarked boldly. Rumpel gave him a deathly glare. Swiftly, he snapped his fingers and Grumpy groaned, clutching his leg. "Whoa! Cramp! My leg! Holy gods, what is happening to my leg?"

Snow sent a curious, questioning look towards Rumpel, who had a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Oh, it's nothing but a wooden leg. I _could _fix it," Rumpel casually hinted, perching on his stool. He made a show of examining his blackened nails, as if he had all the time in the world to enjoy this show. Grumpy was doing circles, bent at the waist.

"That…would…be…great," he gasped.

"But I won't," Rumpel snapped. "Not until you apologize for that hideous quip." Grumpy leaned against the wheel, dragging his stiff leg. "And get your filthy hands off my wheel," he growled, threatening to snap his fingers again. _Maybe this time he'll change into a real puppet. _

"Alright, alright. I'm…sorry," he muttered stubbornly stepping away from the wheel like it was an active grenade. Snow snickered, shaking her head.

"I'd give that a ten…out of one million," she commented, throwing Grumpy under the bus. Rumpel snapped his fingers again.

"I agree," he remarked, just as Grumpy landed on his back, clutching both of his legs and wailing. _Oh, look. The dwarf has fallen and he can't get up, _Snow mused with delight. Rumpel's offer was sounding better by the second—she hadn't had this much fun in a long time.

"Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for the quip and I'll never mention it again! Just…for God's sake, give me my legs back!" Grumpy rubbed at his legs, as if he could soften the wood any. Rumpel sighed and waved his hand aside, allowing Grumpy the comfort of his normal legs.

"W-what? Those creepy puppets out there…wouldn't work as firewood?" Grumpy shuddered at the mental image of those creepy puppets, staring at him. They were so life-like. A fondness glinted in Snow's eyes, but it lacked warmth.

"I thought they were charming. With a little magic, they could be two little butlers." She seemed much too giddy over that prospect. Grumpy shuddered again, raking a hand across his beard. Rumpel simply shrugged.

"They're for decoration. This place gets lonely," he said, emphasizing the last word for Snow's benefit. Grumpy scrunched his face in disgust.

"Snow, really? Are you actually considering his proposal? What about true love? Your Prince Charming's waiting for you!"

He made to shake her by the arms, but Snow shot him a warning look. He didn't need to be told what would happen if he touched her again. _Ooh, he's going to be sore from the waist down tomorrow morning. Good luck explaining that to the other dwarfs. _

"Please. True love doesn't mean anything to me. It's a grim, hopeless concept," she hissed, turning away. Rumpel lifted a finger, seconding that statement.

"Well said, dearie. Who needs 'twoo wuv' as long as you love me truly?" Grumpy paused with his mouth open, about to argue with Snow again. His brow furrowed with puzzlement.

"Isn't that from a song?" Rumpel tossed him a dark look of annoyance.

"Isn't your name chosen by a magical mood axe? How pathetic. If you were a girl, you'd probably be Bit—"

"His name was Dreamy before that. It's almost as bad as Charming," Snow intercepted mockingly.

She spat both names out like they were poison on her tongue. There was now a stark brightness in Rumpel's eyes as his attention flickered over to Grumpy once more. By the elated smile on his face, he was stifling a giggle.

"Dreamy? The fairies must have chosen that one. Trust me, Snow, what's love got to do with it? Honestly, what's love but a second hand emotion?" Grumpy gawked at the dealmaker.

"That's a song, too!" _It's just as sad that you recognize that, _Snow thought to herself. Rumpel waved his hand impatiently.

"I have no idea what you're babbling about, dwarf. What do you say, Snow? Kill the Queen, ditch Charming, and be the honored caretaker of my estate?" Snow shrugged carelessly, devoid of emotion. She would need time to think. If anything, she wasn't about to be double-crossed by some mischievous imp.

On the other hand, it could be quite thrilling. Two dark forces joining together…Snow couldn't help but smile suggestively at the dealmaker. His strange golden eyes traveled along the length of her body.

"Well, when you put it that way…" Grumpy slapped a hand against his forehead, probably cursing both of their names at that moment. Snow smirked at the dwarf. _It was your idea to bring me here, remember? Don't blame me. _

"Snow, if you take that bow, if you accept his proposal…you do it alone. And don't even think that I'm coming to the wedding, either," he grumbled, inches away from giving up. The Snow he knew was long gone and by the looks of it she wasn't popping up anytime soon.

"Oh, that's perfectly fine. You weren't invited anyway," Rumpel retorted, motioning his hands worthlessly towards Grumpy. He moved to pick up the bow and hand it to Snow. She grinned, her hand wrapping around the weapon.

"That was always my plan," she shrugged off Grumpy's words like water off a duck. He stared at her as if she truly were some stranger on the road. Rumpel only released one of his high-pitched giggles.

"Should I start sending out the invitations?" The dealmaker returned to his spinning wheel, all the while humming a marriage theme deliberately. Grumpy thrust his arms in the air and headed for the door.

"Forget it—I'm letting myself out! I don't even want to imagine what your children will look like!" For a third time, Grumpy shuddered, rubbing his hands over his arms for comfort. Snow gazed at him in disbelief.

"Our children would be perfect! And there'll be so many, you'll find them watching you just like those unsettling elves on the shelves!" Grumpy blanched at that thought. Rumpel half-turned on his stool to study the dwarf with speculation.

"And what do you suppose your children will look like, Grumps? A tiny, strong-built dwarf with sugary wings? Ladies and gentleman, we finally have our Tooth Fairy!"

Snow willingly laughed at that and Rumpel stared at her in wonder. He liked that sound—her laughter. He'd have to think of some of his better quips to share with her. Grumpy stormed off, but paused in the doorway.

"Snow? Stealthy would have been ashamed of you," he muttered, as if that were a sharp stake meant to pierce through her icy heart. Snow frowned for a second, but then shrugged.

"Well, if he had listened to me, he would be alive, wouldn't he?" Grumpy whirled around to gawk at her, his mouth falling open unattractively. _Careful. You'll swallow a fly with your mouth hanging open like that, _she thought about taunting him.

"Point proven, dearie," Rumpel spoke up from his wheel, earning a cold glare from Grumpy. It held no candle to the Queen's glares, so it barely bothered Rumpel. The dwarf, however, was so upset he was nearly rocking unsteadily.

"How dare you mock Stealthy! He was…he was…a good dwarf! The best, actually! There'll never be another like him!" He took off his hat as an ode of respect to the fallen dwarf. Rumpel yawned purposely.

"Tell me: is there a dwarf named 'Suicidal', too? 'Itchy?' 'Dopey'?" Grumpy started to protest. Then, a fierce red blazoned his face and he gazed almost sheepishly down at the floor.

"Yes," he admitted, much to Rumpel's amusement. Snow crossed her arms and savored the embarrassment written on the dwarf's face.

"That is so sad. I'll bet that dwarf gets pelted with rocks every morning," she said. _Sounds like my kind of game. _Grumpy gave a ragged sigh and only glanced over his shoulder once, as if he expected Snow to wake up and follow him back to where she belonged.

"Don't come back, Snow. Not like this." He stormed down the steps and a few moments later they heard the castle doors slam closed, signaling the dwarf's departure. It was only a few minutes later that Snow left the castle, setting out to kill the Queen.

Rumpel spun his straw into more gold than he could ever spend and almost regretted not making that proposal a requirement. _She's not coming back. _

* * *

_Just a note: the two songs mentioned are "Wonderland" by Natalia Kills and "What's Love Got to Do With It" by Tina Turner respectively. _

_Well, I hope everyone enjoyed that—I plan to give it the same feel as my "Sunshine" story (also inspired by DaesGatling). Which means I plan on keeping my readers highly entertained! _

_Le gasp! The finale is next week! Dun, dun, dun! _


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: So this is just a short chapter, but I'm already at work on the next one. I want to thank all those that reviewed so far and I hope you keep reading!**_

_**Chapter Two**_

"Presenting Your Majesty, Queen Regina," the merry announcement rang out among the forest. Positioned atop her horse, looking like a giant red peacock, the Queen trotted into view. _It's royal season, _Snow thought as she gripped the bow tensely, skirting along the trees.

_Look at her. Smiling falsely like that. I'll bet she practices that look in the mirror. And just listen to the way they praise her—useless peasants. They're just afraid she'll target them like turkeys on Thanksgiving. Well, I'm not afraid. She took what I love and she will pay, _Snow silently vowed as she chose her spot.

Confidently, she prepared her arrow, pulled her arm back, breathed out slowly through her nose, and narrowed her eyes in concentration.

_Just a little closer…a little more…perfect. _Snow smiled as she imagined the Queen's death in her mind. _This will be the third best day of my life. The first being the day I drank that potion and the second being the day I nearly destroyed half of the Queen's apple tree playing with a fiery torch. Wasn't too smart, I'll admit. _

Snow released the breath she'd been trapping in her lungs. _This one's for my father. And my dear mother, whose Summer Palace is being defiled by the Queen. And my pet rabbit that the Queen "accidentally" sat on and suffocated. Here it goes. _

At the moment that Snow released the arrow, a dark figure leaped into her path. It was that annoying Charming guy, the arrow digging into his chest. _Are you kidding me? Is it too difficult for him to be useless somewhere else? _

"You idiot! You ruined my shot! I was going to kill the Queen," Snow bellowed at him, stomping over vines and roots. Below them, the Queen was unhurt, the horse trotting on obliviously.

"I….know," Charming gasped, blood staining his shirt. "You certainly weren't...shooting fairies."

Snow glanced around. Were there even fairies around here? There were so many of them crawling around, yet it was a mystery as to where they all camped out. _They're much easier to see at night. Overgrown fireflies. _

"What kind of fool do you take me for? I'm not wasting my shot on a silly _pixie!_ That's what my broom is for!"

"Snow, you can't kill her. It's not you." Charming swayed dangerously, like a drunk in a tavern.

"Why would you do something stupid like that? I'm starting to think you have problems up there," Snow replied, tapping a knuckle against her temples to show what she meant.

She watched the red blossoming over the white cloth. _I do hope that's not your favorite shirt. You can wash it hundreds of times, but the blood's never coming out. Might as well dye it pink. _

"Because…I love you," he whispered, reaching out towards her. Snow slapped his hand away, sliding in close to grab ahold of his bloody shirt.

"Love is weakness. And I do _not_ love you," she hissed.

In one sharp movement, Snow shoved Charming over the edge of the drop, sending him rolling down the hill. The horses slowed as Charming's body flew into view, landing in front of the Queen and her soldier.

The Queen's horse rose on its back legs, kicking wildly in the air. The Queen struggled to stay on the animal like it was a mechanical bull. She was tossed off the horse and landed in a thick puddle of mud. _Now her outfit is perfect. _

The guards were staring down at Charming with shock.

"What in blazes was that? Look at my dress! It's ruined!" The Queen raged as she slipped again, landing face-first in the mud. _I hope the Queen has a taste for mud-pies. _The Queen lifted her face which was now caked with brown. And Snow could still see the horror on her face. "This is _not_ mud!"

"I…I think he's hurt, Your Majesty," one guard mentioned, pointing to the arrow that had splintered during Charming's fall. Another guard removed his hideous black helmet and snapped his fingers.

"Quick! Someone bring me a dagger so I can see if he's breathing!" The Queen managed to step away from the puddle and scowled. She hopelessly tried to wipe the stains off her dress.

Fixing up another arrow, Snow readied herself with another shot. _Maybe you're not so useless after all, Charming. _

_An arrow fired from this bow will get you exactly what you need, _Rumpelstiltskin had told her. She was counting on it. _I need her death. _

Licking her lips, Snow fired the arrow, aimed straight for the Queen. At the last second, Regina glanced up and their eyes met. Hers were filled with surprise, coupled with a fearful look that plainly read _'oh, shit.'_

_"Oww!" _The arrow punctured through the Queen's chest into her heart, sending her hurtling backwards into the brown pool. Her body spasmed a couple of times and then she was still.

Snow could have given a victory yell then. She could have danced. She could have gone streaking through the woods, she was so ecstatic. _I killed the Queen, I killed the Queen! _

And on the heels of that: now what? _And now…I'm bored. _

Now that the Queen was dead…what was there left to do?

Those stinky dwarfs were out of the question. That Happy was far too smiley for his own good—who in the world could be that happy? Sneezy was forever ruining the food-Snow imagined that dwarf was even allergic to himself. And Grumpy….well, he was just an overgrown toddler with his tantrums.

And Charming...she'd rather prance around in a glittery dress than consider someone who's name was purely egotistical. That was assuming he lived, anyway. _Maybe the fall knocked some sense into him. _

The guards grew agitated once they realized someone had killed their precious Queen. _Gods forbid she's no longer alive to beat them, whip them, or torture them. Except her guards are probably into that kind of thing. _

Snow quickly strung the bow on her back and tracked back through the woods. _Hmm….I wonder if Rumpelstiltskin's offer is still on the table? Who knows? It could be fun. And besides—it's only forever. _

* * *

_**Thank you DaesGatling, FranzF, FallenHope19, BlooperLover, Lyn Harkeran, and olverabonk for the wonderful reviews!**_

_**And for those of you who are unsure, the OUAT Abridged series can be found on LiveJournal, written by DaesGatling. I highly recommend it. **_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Something of a long chapter (though not as long as my Sunshine one, thank God). I hope everyone enjoys reading it. **

* * *

_**Chapter Three**_

It was dark.

There were murmurs floating above his head. The words were jumbled. He vaguely recalled tumbling down a hill. Maybe something fizzled in his brain and he'd never understand words again! _Can that really happen? Am I going to wake up speaking Chinese? _

"I think…he's coming around," a sugary voice echoed in his ear. Slowly his eyes opened. A blurry figure danced in front of him in midair. His eyes ached. Or maybe it was his brain.

"Mom?" His eyes snapped open to see a tiny thing floating in front of him. "Mosquito!" He grabbed up the nearest object—a book—and batted the tiny figure away. It went flying across the room and smacked into the wall, falling helpless to the floor.

"I hate it when that happens," the bug moaned, gradually lifting into the air again. It zoomed into his face, a blinding ball of blue. "I am _not _a mosquito! Besides, I wouldn't sting you if you were the last man in this forest!"

"You…you don't…mean that," Charming whimpered. The little woman—he could now make out the miniature breasts—crossed her arms. "So, you're a…pixie?"

Instantly, the woman's anger flared up. The bed began to quake underneath him due to her power.

"I am not a _pixie!_ I'm a _fairy!" _Charming held onto the sides of the bed as it rocked violently. _As if that makes much difference. _"Pixies are selfish and overly conceited. Fairies live to help others in need." His stomach flopped like a pancake.

"Well, I _need_ the bed to stop shaking. I think…I'm about to lose my lunch," he hinted, clamping a hand over his mouth. The Blue Fairy sighed and, with a flick of her hand, the bed halted. "Thank you. Now…where am I?"

"Dead. I'm trying to decide whether you'll go up or down. I'm thinking down…" His breathing quickened and his eyes widened.

"You mean I'm really _dead? _But there's so much I wanted to do! Like get married and…and bathe under a cold waterfall and…and battle a dragon! Oh, wait…I already did that. And Snow! Snow's about to kill the Queen!"

The fairy yawned as she listened to Charming's rant.

"News flash, Charming. Snow White _did_ kill the Queen. Yesterday afternoon." Charming's head dropped back on the pillow, his face pinched with despair. The fairy almost felt bad for him. Almost, if it weren't for the pixie label.

"Oh, gods. Snow…killed the Queen. I'm never getting her back. My life is over. Oh, wait…my life _is _over! Ahhh!" Charming threw his arm over his eyes while the Blue Fairy rolled her own.

"Charming, relax. The 'dying' thing was a joke," she told him. Charming jerked his head up in shock.

"I'm not dead? Why…why would you do something like that? I thought fairies were good!" The Blue Fairy landed on a pillow.

"I've had a long day. Especially after easing most of your wounds after that fall. You're in the Queen's castle, by the way. Turns out the majority of her soldiers are glad to be rid of her, rude as she was. And she truly has been killed by Snow White."

Charming glanced around. The castle walls were built of black stone, fit for an Evil Queen. An Evil Queen who was now dead.

"So…does this mean I'm king of the castle?" Before the Blue Fairy could answer, Charming leaped up and dashed onto the balcony overlooking the Enchanted Forest. _"I'm the king of the castle! Woo-hoo!" _

"Oh, gods," the Blue Fairy mumbled, burying her head in her hand.

"No, you half-wit. Only Snow White can be the rightful heir to the throne as this is her father's castle," a deep voice boomed around the room. Charming gazed around in confusion until he saw a face occupying the Queen's mirror.

"Is that…a talking mirror?" Charming rushed over to examine it. The man behind the glass scowled.

"No, it's just the silly voice in your head. Ignore the floating face completely. Yes, I am a talking Mirror!" Charming cocked an eyebrow and glanced back at the Blue Fairy.

"I think he's confused," he muttered, pointing to the Mirror. The Blue Fairy pounded her fists into the pillow.

"Why do I always get stuck with the hopeless, unreasonable ones?" Charming ignored her and the Mirror was too upset about Charming's remark to listen properly.

"_I'm _confused? I was being sarcastic! I'll have you know that if you ruled this kingdom, we'd all be dead within the hour!" Charming started to poke the glass and the Mirror groaned. "Ow, ow! Stop that, you mindless ninny!"

The Blue Fairy flew off toward the two and knocked on Charming's head.

"Charming, you need to listen now. Snow White was meant to overcome the Queen, but not this way. Her actions have caused her to become darker than the Queen whose life she has taken. Now, she is seeking to marry none other than Rumpelstiltskin," the Blue Fairy warned. Charming's face paled.

"Snow…is marrying an imp in leather pants? That is, Rumpelstiltskin will be wearing leather pants and—"

"Yes, yes, we've understood that part. Ninny," the Mirror grumbled. "I bet you wouldn't look as impressive in leather pants!" The Blue Fairy shot the Mirror a sharp look. Charming stared at the Mirror in disbelief.

"Well…I bet you can't even wear pants! You have no legs!" The Mirror gasped and glared at Charming. The Blue Fairy tapped Charming on the head again to gain his attention.

"Fear not, Charming. For there is still a way to return Snow White to her former self. It is the key to breaking all curses, no matter how powerful."

Charming scrunched his nose in thought. His brain was aching again.

"Death?" The Mirror looked like he wanted to grow arms instead and strangle Charming slowly.

"Would it be too much trouble to send him tumbling down the hill again?" The Blue Fairy's serious stare answered that question. "A _kiss, _boy! True love's kiss can break any curse. Remember?" Charming made an 'O' with his lips as the light clicked on in his mind.

"That was my second guess," Charming retorted. The Mirror huffed.

"Of course it was. And I'm the Evil Queen." The Blue Fairy flew in front of Charming's face, blocking his view of the Mirror. "And now I'm forced to stare at the tiniest rear end in the world. Lucky me."

The Blue Fairy scowled and smoothed her skirt down.

"Charming, you must find Snow White. I fear there will be too much darkness in the world with those two. Plus, you were truly meant to be with her." The Mirror snickered.

"Please. You're just too nice to hurt his feelings by telling him that those two would have a longer marriage. I've never seen a woman turn down leather pants. I should have worn leather pants instead of that useless genie get-up."

Charming seemed lost in thought. Then, a determined look came over his face.

"I'll find her. I will always find her," he vowed, starting for a door on the left side of the room. The Mirror closed his eyes in annoyance.

"Uh, Charming…the exit is over there," the Blue Fairy pointed to the opposite side of the room just as Charming leaped into view again.

"That was the Queen's closet? It was massive," he commented in wonder. Holding his head high, he headed for the right door. "Alright, I'm off to find Snow White."

"We're doomed," the Mirror mumbled. The Blue Fairy stopped him with a piece of advice.

"Perhaps you should consider asking the dwarfs for help. Eight heads are better than one," the Blue Fairy called out.

"Any head is better than _his," _the Mirror groaned. Charming smiled warmly.

"That's brilliant. Where can I find these dwarfs?" The Blue Fairy gave him directions into the woods where he would come across the dwarfs. Charming nodded and vanished out the door, setting off on his journey to get back his true love.

"I repeat: we are doomed." The Blue Fairy spun and kicked the glass. "Ouch!"

* * *

It was quite a trek back to the Dark Castle—hmm, Snow really liked the appropriateness of that name—but she reveled in her darker state of mind. Honestly, how could she have been so naïve before? _It's all Charming's fault for such foolishness. True love's kiss—what a hopeless concept. _

Ironically, the world seemed a lot brighter without Regina.

Once she reached the castle doors, Snow strode right in. _Nice people always knock. Except I'm not exactly nice anymore. _She offloaded the bow and arrows against the wall and scanned the place.

The main hall was dim and empty. Still, she could almost sense his presence here lurking in the shadows. Without uttering a syllable, Snow climbed the alabaster white stairs in search of him. _Come out, come out, wherever you are! _

She found him in the library, marveling in front of a mirror while trying out a cloak. Snow leaned against the threshold to watch him. He didn't seem to realize she was there. If he did, he was putting on a show for her to enjoy.

"Look at me! I'm Charming! Absolutely Charming! Shall I cut off a dragon's head? I'm Charming! Pelt me with rocks! Where, oh where are my family jewels?"

Despite her determination to remain silent, Snow slipped into a fit of giggles. Her face turned red with the effort of holding back the gale of laughter and she doubled over, sides aching. Rumpelstiltskin whirled around, whipping the cloak off his body.

"What _are _you _doing?" _Snow motioned to the cloak that had been discarded, all the while fighting to maintain control of the laughter bubbling up inside her. That show was much too fascinating. Rumpelstiltskin practically danced toward her.

"What does it look like, dearie? I'm doing my evening 'Mock Charming' routines. Now that I have his cloak, they're much more exhilarating." Snow glanced at the cloak. She could not remember Charming ever wearing it, but then she didn't remember much of Charming at all—thanks to the potion.

"I think it looks far more impressive on you than Charming. It goes well with your leather pants," she replied, inching closer to the dealmaker. "Such a dark, handsome prince you would make."

Snow tapped a finger on his chest. Rumpelstiltskin made an over-exaggerated gasp.

"Oh, stop it. You'll make me blush," he tossed back, threading a finger through her dark hair. "You've returned." Snow smiled wickedly, thinking of the dead Queen. _Serves her right for sitting on my only bunny. Someone had to do it. _

"Since we are both two dark souls in this world, I've decided to accept your proposal. Assuming it still rests on the table," she hinted, hoisting herself up on the table in the middle of the room. Rumpelstiltskin turned away towards the mirror, stroking his chin in thought.

"Hmm…that one's tricky considering the overwhelming line of women outside my door." Snow crossed her arms impatiently. She kicked her legs through the air, back and forth.

"Well, then I'm sure you'll be just as happy marrying one of them—" She leaped down from the table. Before she could finish, though, Rumpelstiltskin caught her by the wrist and swept her close to him. His fingers drummed lightly across her skin.

"You didn't let me finish. There is an overwhelming line of women, but not one of them could compare to your delicious, dark beauty," he told her, lifting her chin upwards. Snow twisted her head out of his grip.

"I suppose it's settled, then," she said. Rumpelstiltskin brought his hands together in one satisfied clap.

"I suppose it is, my dear soon-to-be-wife. I'm certain you'll want the grand tour. Starting with the library, of course," Rumpelstiltskin stated, gesturing around the room. Snow matched his pace through the door.

"I'm dying to explore the rest of your estate," Snow agreed as he led her from room to room. Rumpelstiltskin glanced at her over his shoulder, grinning madly.

"I'm counting on it eventually." Snow quirked an eyebrow at his meaning, but did not ask. It was a rather large estate.

"Being your wife, that would make me the lady of this castle, correct?" Rumpelstiltskin paused and held a finger before her face.

"Why, yes, dearie. The title suits you. But first—a few nonnegotiable conditions. One—" He waved his finger in front of her face. "—you must not change my estate any color, especially pink. The thought of a pink estate is quite humiliating and I'd be forced to tell my customers that it's salmon in order to maintain my reputation. I _am _the Dark One, after all."

"Lucky for you, my least favorite color is pink," Snow protested, much to Rumpelstiltskin's relief.

"Two—" He held up two fingers now. "You must be careful handling my clothing. The last time a woman laundered my clothing, one of my favorite pairs of leather pants was far too tight and…rather uncomfortable in a particularly delicate area."

Snow couldn't help but glance down at that…delicate area.

"The dwarfs told me I have excellent domestic skills. Of course, I couldn't say the same for when I'm upset. Or around a certain time of the month," she warned, feigning innocence. Rumpelstiltskin withdrew his fingers and smirked.

"The pile of hay was an amusing touch, Snow," he complimented her. It didn't surprise her that he knew those sorts of things. Who knew what a dark mind would be capable of?

And she was sure Sneezy would be sneezing until pigs learned to fly.

"Thank you. It's what he deserves after sneezing nonstop in my food." Rumpelstiltskin thrust three fingers before her face. One of them grazed her lips.

"Third and lastly, do not interrupt me while I am in the library. It is where I work," he explained. Snow gazed at him critically.

"So…your 'Mock Charming' routines are work?" Rumpelstiltskin paused and she figured he was searching for the right choice of words.

"It's not as easy as it looks. Charming is rather flat and mindless at the best of times." He impatiently waved the matter off. "Anyway, I'm not very respectful when I'm interrupted, dearie. So I suggest you do not disturb me in the library."

Snow nodded and brushed a hand across his vest.

"Not even under…special circumstances?" Her voice came out in a purr and Rumpelstiltskin grinned despite himself.

"Perhaps there might be…_exceptions." _Rumpelstiltskin studied her meaningfully, a suggestive gleam in his eyes, before swiftly turning and leading her down the hall once more. "I think this marriage will be good for us. For one thing, it gives me the perfect excuse to wear those gold leather pants."

Snow tilted her head in amazement.

"You own a pair of _gold _leather pants?" He turned to leer at her.

"Oh, yes. And you'll be the first to see them." Snow shook her head in wonder as their steps echoed along the hall.

"Well, it's a safe bet those leather pants will appear better on you than on someone like Charming," Snow mused softly. Rumpelstiltskin released an odd giggle.

"That's the spirit!" And then he halted in his tracks and Snow collided into his back. "Oh…there was a fourth rule I neglected to mention. Your lovely Prince Charming shall not be mentioned in this castle. For obvious reasons. His name alone would ruin the décor."

Snow did not hesitate to dip her head in agreement. She'd rather get Charming out of her mind as well.

"That sounds…charming," she mocked him. Rumpelstiltskin glanced fiercely down at her as she smiled mischievously. Biting his tongue, he continued on with the grand tour, cursing Charming's name as he went.

Snow was perfectly satisfied, especially with the last condition. _From here on, I shall refer to him as…'He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.' What a lovely name._

* * *

"And here shall be your room," Rumpelstiltskin declared as he threw open the door at the end of the east hall. Snow gazed at him skeptically as he awaited her reaction.

"My room?" Rumpelstiltskin tilted his head at her. With a hand, he gestured for her to step inside. She did and she had to admit it was a good-sized room. _Much better than those dwarfs ever gave me. I could get used to this castle. _

"Would you prefer not to sleep alone?"

Snow surveyed the room and then turned back to the dealmaker standing on the threshold. She flashed him a seductive smile. _If I say yes, are you going to mock me by conjuring a stuffed teddy bear? _

"Well, since it's our first night together, I figured you'd be interested in making the most of it," she hinted, sauntering up to him. A dark gleam in his eyes told her he was enjoying this spectacle.

"Careful, dearie," he warned, tugging on a piece of her black hair playfully. "Not many have succeeded in culling the beast." Snow lifted her face close to his, smirking. _Culling the beast? Is that what they're calling it? _

"That sounds like a challenge. Lucky for you, I appreciate a worthy challenge," she assured him, patting his chest. His lips stretched into a satisfied grin.

"In that case…how do you want to do this?"

Rumpelstiltskin stepped around her and motioned to the bed. Snow arched an eyebrow. _Really? Don't tell me this is your first. Here I thought those leather pants were capable of working their own magic._

"There are plenty of ways we can 'do it'. Generally, two people locate a bed. Oh, look—there's one now." Snow mockingly pointed to the bed. "After that, those two people come together, the tension escalates, they get on the bed, and they become unclothed. Ripping, tearing, stripping, whichever you like. Finally, after long periods of heavy breathing and caressing, the man inserts his—"

"Yes, yes, I understand that part," Rumpelstiltskin cut her off hastily. "I was referring to _sleeping._ You've really given that interpretation some thought, haven't you, Snow?" She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Actually…this would be my first time," she admitted reluctantly, averting her gaze.

Rumpelstiltskin paused to consider all she was giving him. And she wasn't even herself, not really. The potion had changed her and the murder of the Queen attracted her to darkness. And he was as dark as they came.

"Is that so? I'm flattered," he replied. An uneasy feeling came over him. "We don't have to…Believe it or not, I haven't…done this…in quite some time."

It was almost sheepish of him to admit; had his skin not been an odd golden-gray shade, she figured she'd see a slight blush to his face.

"How long?" Snow's brow furrowed with curiosity. Rumpelstiltskin hesitated and she wondered if he would lie to her. He carefully rubbed a hand across his face.

"Let's say…almost three hundred years?"

Snow's eyes widened in disbelief. _Three hundred years? That is sad. You think he'd be more unruly than he is, not having been bedded in so long. The Queen was getting the job done almost daily and she was still irritating. _

"That nearly makes it a first for both of us, then," Snow mused. The silence was unnerving between them.

"Nearly. If it's a show you want, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint tonight. I don't even know where to begin," he said almost solemnly.

"A piece of advice. Kiss me," she breathed, leaning her head back. Part of her figured she was not capable of falling in love. But you didn't always need love.

She expected him to do it, to take control right then and there, but he hesitated again. _You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Worthy of Charming, if you ask me. _

"Sorry, darling. I'm not the kissing type." Rumpelstiltskin shrugged carelessly and she released an annoyed sigh. Snow pouted her lips.

"Really?" Bitterness tainted that one word, making it as sharp as a whip. She watched the way he shifted uncomfortably, the way he frowned and busied himself with pinching something off his leather vest. And then it hit her. "Oh, I see. You're afraid."

His golden eyes snapped up, filled with incredulity.

"Excuse me?" Those two words were low and dangerous. She didn't care—his power failed to bother her. Actually, it was quite…alluring.

_The only power Charming has is the ability to avoid walking into every tree in the forest. And finding me, apparently. Unfortunately, that makes him the ultimate stalker. _

"You're afraid of—as you put it—_'twoo wuv'_. You think if I kiss you that your curse will be broken. Your power will fade…you'll be a normal, weak man," she speculated.

She circled Rumpelstiltskin as she spoke, her fingers dancing along his leather-clad body until she made a full 360 degrees. Rumpelstiltskin watched her, but barely moved.

"You're wrong. I am not your true love, though I do prefer you at the moment. Nothing will change."

And, just to prove it, Snow placed her hands on Rumpelstiltskin's face and crushed her lips to his. Beneath her touch, he was stiff as a board as he waited for some miraculous, firework-producing, magical change.

Snow pulled away and studied him. Well, if there was a change, it was hardly noticeable. With her hands on his shoulders, she guided him to the mirror to see the result.

"You see? Nothing will change," she said as he peered into the mirror. She brushed the back of her hand along his cheek.

The leather, the gray-golden skin, the lanky hair, the mischievous glint in his eyes…everything was as it should be. _What were you expecting? To turn into a pumpkin at midnight?_

Rumpelstiltskin turned his head toward her, understanding. One of his hands found the back of her head, his fingers delving into her black hair. And then he closed in on her, his lips dominating hers again. It was a desperate, raw kiss that demanded more. _There you go,_ Snow thought as she kissed him back.

The fire sparked, the tension escalated…but Snow ended breaking the kiss before it could go any further. Though it certainly was enjoyable.

"Perhaps…we should wait for our wedding night. Otherwise, we'd ruin all the fun," she suggested, smiling coldly at him. His breathing was hitched and his eyes were glassy with pleasure.

"Such a tease," he murmured, running his hands down the length of her arms. Reluctantly, he released her and headed for the door. She watched his retreating back and then inevitably her eyes slid lower…_Those leather pants do work magic_. "Sweet dreams."

"I hope not," she retorted, crossing to her bed. "If they're too sweet, then that calls for the Blue Fairy and I want nothing more than to swat her with a broom." Rumpelstiltskin giggled, hand on the knob of the door.

"So would I." And then he was gone, leaving her to her room.

Snow dreamed of Charming that night. And she laughed in her dream as he repeatedly stumbled into trees.

* * *

**You know, those two might actually make an interesting couple, with all their darkness. **

**And the finale! Let's just say my mind is still fizzling with excitement and disbelief. (Short rant: OMG, Belle, Gold, Sexy Rumpel, Snow and Charming kissing, the curse, Emma, Henry, oh dear gods the awesomeness…*Is gasping for air* End of rant). **

**As always, I have lovely reviewers to thank for their support. So, thank you DaesGatling (my amazing sounding board of sorts), olverabonk, Ghostwriter, Lyn Harkeran, and foxfireOUAT. **


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Hey there, everyone! Another chapter for you—this one took a little longer than expected because of my inspiration surge for my "Sunshine" story. I hope you all enjoy it, though. **_

_**Oh, and someone was kind enough to make a graphic for this story (thank you again, lollikins!). The link for it can be found on my profile page or in lollikins' review for this story. Check it out—it's pretty cool. **_

_**On to the lovely chapter! **_

* * *

_**Chapter Four**_

_I will find her. I will always find her._

It was this vow that kept Charming moving through the dense forest, even though it had been a couple hours since leaving the Queen's castle. At first his pace had been gallant and quick, but now it was starting to slow as the hardships of his journey took their toll.

For one thing, his feet ached from walking nonstop across the uneven terrain and his boots continuously sank down into the thick mud, making an odd squelching noise like someone puckering their lips.

His eyes were sore—at one point he had rubbed a hand across them and hadn't noticed the sap on his skin until his eyes started burning. Needless to say, he had collided blindly into a tree. And he was starving, his stomach quaking like a volcano.

Through it all, he pressed on in his quest for the dwarfs and, ultimately, his beloved Snow.

_Cottage, cottage…all I see are endless trees. _Charming was beginning to think he'd gotten lost somehow. He paused to scan the forest, the sun beating down on his head. _Cottage, cottage…_

"Wrong way, Charming. You see, I told the Fairy you wouldn't be able to handle this rescue attempt. No one listens to a talking mirror," the Mirror's deep voice boomed around Charming. He glanced wildly around.

"Where are you?" Charming took a step forward, splashing through a puddle—

"Ech! Get off, get off! You are on my face!" Charming lifted his boot and looked down to see the Mirror's face floating in the surface of the water. The water rippled before settling into a peaceful calm once more.

"Sorry, I didn't notice you there," Charming apologized, kneeling beside the puddle. The Mirror sputtered.

"Where were you thinking of looking? The sky? And what did you step in? The bottom of your boot tastes horrible! Pah!" Charming examined the bottom of his boot and decided it best not to answer that question.

"Which way do I go?" Charming gazed around the green wood. The Mirror sighed.

"You'll want to head that way," the Mirror advised, jerking his face towards the left. Charming stood and spun in that direction, nodding. This time he wouldn't get lost. _I should have brought some bread crumbs and dropped them on my way. Snow always knew this forest better than I did. _

"Wait…you were the Queen's Mirror. Why should I trust you?" Charming narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Boy, you are quite paranoid. If you must know, the Blue Fairy promised she would attempt to find a way to transform me back to the man I was should I offer my services. Impossible, if you ask me." The Mirror grumbled under his breath.

"You never considered asking Rumpelstiltskin for help?" The Mirror paused in his mumbling to glare at Charming through the puddle.

"Oh, such a wonderful plan. On one of my days off, I should have just…popped out my mirror and taken a nice, calm walk up to his castle. Why didn't I think of that? Oh, yes—_I'm trapped in a mirror, you brainless prince! _Besides, that imp has always kept his mirrors covered. There's no use trying."

Charming reeled back as if the Mirror shoved a hand through the water and slapped him. His blue eyes widened.

"I was only offering a suggestion. It does not call for grumpiness," Charming retorted.

"I am not grumpy. This day has been rather trying for me. Better get moving, Charming. I believe those are wedding bells ringing in the wind." The water grew dark and then the Mirror's face had vanished from the puddle.

Charming sighed raggedly and decidedly followed the path directed to him by the Mirror. What other choice did he have? _Snow…wait for me. I'm coming for you. _

* * *

Their wedding, however small an event it was, would be held during the next evening. Right there, in the Dark Castle.

She wasn't sure who Rumpelstiltskin was planning to find that would willingly marry them, but those matters never bothered her. Unlike Charming, Rumpelstiltskin was a man of power and always seemed to get his way somehow. _And I even told him I did not care if that person is a cricket so long as everything goes smoothly. _

Snow White modeled before a mirror in her bedroom, clad in the wedding dress Rumpelstiltskin had conjured for her. It had been formed by magic, the essence of it caressing her skin like velvet.

She almost wished the Evil Queen were alive and watching through her mirror, just to be envious at Snow's dark beauty. _You were wrong, stepmother. I don't look as beautiful as you were on your wedding day. I look far better. _

Then she frowned as she ran her fingers over the lace.

"Oh, dear. Something tells me you're not entirely pleased," the rich voice came from the doorway. Snow placed her hands on her hips and turned to face her fiancé, if she could properly call him that with such apathy.

He was casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest as he admired her. His eyes gleamed with fascination and hunger.

"It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding," she advised him. She gathered the folds of the dress in her hands and crossed to him, the fabric whispering across the floor.

"Perhaps Charming will pay the price," Rumpelstiltskin replied gleefully. Snow stared at him in disbelief. "What? You don't agree with that notion? I think it'd be quite amusing."

"You broke your fourth rule." Snow made it sound like pure fact, but he could feel her darkness brimming close to the surface. She would be a destructive wonder if she ever learned to grasp magic.

Rumpelstiltskin merely grinned and stroked a piece of her hair through his golden-gray fingers.

"I own this castle. I have a right to break my rules as I see fit," he told her, tugging slightly on one of the strands. Determination flashed through Snow's eyes as she parted her lips.

"Char—" Rumpelstiltskin placed a finger against her lips, quieting her instantly.

"Ah, ah, ah! You still have to obey my rules. Or else," he taunted her. Snow arched an eyebrow, challenging him.

"Or else what?" She spoke against his finger, which still lingered near her lips. Rumpelstiltskin inched closer until his forehead was nearly touching her own. His breath warmed her skin and she scrunched her nose when it began to tickle.

"Trust me, dearie. You wouldn't want to force my hand. And by hand, I mean magic, of course." He tapped his finger on her lips. Snow opened her mouth and bit down on his finger. He jerked it away, but giggled. "Ooh, feisty."

Snow bunched up her dress and retraced her steps to the mirror. Rumpelstiltskin glided behind her and rested his hands softly on her hips.

"Now, Snow. Why are you displeased with your dress?" Rumpelstiltskin nestled his head on her shoulder and squeezed her hips slightly, making her emit a small gasp. She squirmed under his touch, fighting for control.

"It's nearly perfect," she said, though her lips were still turned down at the corners.

"Nearly?" He latched onto the operative word in that sentence and urged her to clarify. Snow shrugged and met his eyes in the mirror.

"I'd prefer my dress to be a different color," she admitted, picking at the white lace. Rumpelstiltskin grinned and held a hand before her. The aura of magic crackled in the air as he summoned it up. She never found his magic to be dangerous or frightening. _It's kind of impressive, actually. To have so much power and do with it what you will. Wonder how that works in more…intimate times. _

"As you wish," he murmured. He snapped his fingers and a deep crimson pooled among the white. It spread like blood until the dress was completely submersed in a seductive shade of red. Rumpelstiltskin stepped back to let her admire it. "How is that?"

Snow's fingers danced along the red lace that used to be snowy white and scrutinized it from different angles in the mirror. She pursed her lips.

"How about…black? Ooh, black lace," Snow requested, smiling longingly at the tempting notion. Another snap and the red darkened into an ebony hue. Rumpelstiltskin awaited her reaction.

"Darker than the Queen, I imagine," he offered. Snow touched a finger to her chin. It was much too difficult to decide between the two.

"Let me see the red again." _Snap_—the dress brightened like someone had tapped a reverse button and it became that lovely red again. Red as a fresh rose. Snow shook her head. "No, black." _Snap. _"No, wait. Red, definitely." Rumpelstiltskin sighed deeply.

"Dearie, who do you think you are? Sleeping Beauty?" Snow turned and a cool grin dominated her lips.

"Black it is," she decided, sweeping away from the mirror.

She stopped within inches of Rumpelstiltskin and wrapped her arms around his neck. He tensed. _Does he think I'll strangle him? Or is he simply not good with contact? _

"Since I showed you my dress, perhaps you could be kind and show me that leather outfit of yours."

Rumpelstiltskin smirked down at her and brought his lips close to hers. His hand was delving into her dark hair and Snow actually believed he might agree. _This manipulating thing is easy. No wonder the Queen had everyone bending for her like twigs. _

Abruptly, Rumpelstiltskin tossed her away from him and she fell back on the bed. She glanced up at him with a mixture of surprise and anger. He seemed to drink it in like a delicious elixir.

"Unfortunately, Snow, I am not so kind. And haven't you heard? It's bad luck for the bride to see the groom before the wedding." As swiftly as he had entered, Rumpelstiltskin departed through the door and snapped his fingers to make it slam closed behind him.

Snow fought with the overwhelming bundle of black fabric and glared at the door.

"I wish it were red. Red like the Queen's apples." Except this time the dress stayed black. Black as her soul.

* * *

Prince Charming expected the dwarfs' cottage was going to be small in size, but he never expected to be _that_ small.

It was hardly bigger than a shack meant for one in poverty, a poor wooden structure of a thing standing amidst the trees. The door hung at a crooked angle and there was no welcoming candlelight. _How do seven dwarfs fit inside such a tiny cottage? Better yet…where did Snow sleep? _

Carefully, Charming approached the door and, being the gentleman, he rapped his knuckles on the unsteady door instead of barging in. He waited a moment, but there was no sound from inside. _Seven dwarfs…and no one is home? _

Pressing a palm against the door, Charming eased it open to find the cottage empty. Empty…and yet untidy.

There were seven bowls on the table, filled with food. They were each grouped with a mug and seven miniature utensils. Charming's stomach grumbled again and the aroma of the food was overwhelming. _What's a tiny taste? I'll just explain once they arrive back. _

Charming left his cloak by the door. _Why did Rumpelstiltskin have to take my favorite cloak? This one doesn't even keep me warm. If I find Snow, I'm requesting it back. It would look better on me anyway and Snow would agree. _

He wandered to the table to test one of the bowls of food. Immediately, he scrunched his nose.

"Too hot." He dropped the utensil and swiftly moved to the next one, airing his tongue out as he did.

"Too cold," he commented, spewing the chilled broth back into the bowl. He continued around the table, trying every one. "Too sweet. Too dull. Too sour." Finally, he made a full circle and reluctantly accepted the food in the last bowl. He moaned in bliss. "Mmm….just right. That is good."

Charming lapped up the entire bowl and rubbed his stomach pleasurably afterward. _No use carrying out a rescue attempt on an empty stomach. I'm sure the dwarfs will agree. _

After setting the bowl back on the table, Charming yawned. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand to stifle it, but it was much too overwhelming to fight off. _A seat might not be so bad…since I'm waiting, anyway. _

Charming dropped into the nearest seat at the table…and it broke from underneath him into several pieces. He landed on the floor and bumped his head against the wall. He rubbed the already sore spot. _I have got to stop hitting my head. And the chair's broken. How am I supposed to explain that? _

Hopelessly, Charming attempted to put the chair back together, but it fell apart into a heap the minute he removed his hands. _Maybe the dwarfs won't notice. _

Another yawn took him over and he wandered to another room of the cottage, where seven beds were stuffed together for each of the dwarfs. He settled on the nearest one, but jumped up quickly.

"This bed is much too lumpy. Does this dwarf sleep on rocks?" He complained, moving over to the next one.

It was similar to the conundrum with the food—there was something wrong with each of the beds. _Too soft—I might drown in it. Too hard—I'd rather sleep on a wooden board. Too high—what if I fall out of bed while I sleep? _

It was when he was passing the entry again that he caught sight of a third room in the cottage, towards the back. Charming hurried through it to find just one more bed, a large one. It contained white sheets and looked far more comfortable than the rest of them.

_Ahh…that is wonderful, _Charming thought as he sank down onto the bed. Within a few seconds, he was sound asleep, even as a string of whistling arose on the wind.

* * *

The whistling was exactly the opposite of how they felt—joyful, positive while they were suffocating in despair. Truly, the dwarfs could never go a day without their thoughts turning back to Snow. Always Snow.

Grumpy seemed to take it the hardest, his lips curling in a sneer if any of them even began to mention her name. _The Snow we knew is gone. And she's not coming back. The Queen is dead…and so is she. _

"Brothers! Someone was here," Doc's commanding voice broke Grumpy's miserable thoughts as they filed into the cottage.

They were right—there was a cloak draped near the door and one of the chairs was broken into pieces.

"Oh! Who broke my chair? _Ah-Atchoo!"_ Sneezy stumbled from the impact of the sneeze and then shook his head solemnly. "And that cloak! It's…it's making me sneeze! _Atchoo!"_

"And someone ate all my food!" Happy stared into his empty bowl and frowned, an expression that was becoming more and more common since Snow drank that potion.

Grumpy stomped through the rest of the cottage until he stopped on the threshold of Stealthy's room, where Snow used to sleep. The bed was occupied again.

"Hey! Where do you get off breaking into cottages and sleeping in Stealthy's bed?" Grumpy grumbled as he grabbed the man's leg and tossed him from the bed. He landed in a heap and leaped up a second later, sword drawn.

"Are you a dwarf?" The man pointed the sword at Grumpy. The others rushed to witness the commotion. Grumpy snarled, smacking the sword away.

"Do I look like a unicorn to you, buddy?" The man's brow furrowed in confusion. The sword faltered a bit.

"Look, I came to request your help. I need to find Snow White," he declared and the dwarfs behind Grumpy erupted in surprise and recognition. Grumpy merely stared hard at this man, suddenly realizing who he was. _Charming, eh? You're too late, buddy. Snow White is gone, replaced with someone dark. _

"Sorry…Charming. We're not helping," Grumpy stated, silencing the other dwarfs in shock. Doc stepped forward to grasp Grumpy's shoulders.

"Grumpy, this is _Snow White. _She needs us," he reasoned, but Grumpy was adamant. Charming's sword lowered completely, his face broken by the rejection.

"But…you have to help me get her back! She's…she's marrying Rumpelstiltskin!" The dwarfs' heads whipped around, their eyes growing wide.

Grumpy cursed under his breath—Snow was really accepting that imp's proposal. _I ain't going back there. That imp'll turn me into a puppet! Hell, he'll turn all of us into puppets and control us like a marionette. _

"Snow's not the same anymore. Nothing you do will help now," Grumpy argued, trying to move past the crowd of dwarfs. Charming sheathed his sword. "Just let her go. Move on."

Charming shook his head. _You speak of that as if it's so easy. _

"No. I won't let her go! I love her! And if you cared for her, you'd come with me," Charming shouted at Grumpy's retreating back. The dwarfs seemed to hold their breath as they awaited Grumpy's response. "Haven't you ever been in love?"

"Grumpy, please. It wouldn't be the same without you," Doc pleaded. It was silent. Grumpy closed his eyes, remembering the last time he'd seen Snow. _Damn that leather-wearing, giggling imp. _

Slowly, he turned, having made up his mind.

"Fine. But don't expect me to be happy about it."

The dwarfs cheered while Charming smiled in relief. The dwarfs surrounded Grumpy in a massive hug and he fought to break their grip.

"Alright, alright. Get off, all of you! Let's bring Snow home. I'll be damned if I let her marry that imp!"

* * *

_**Dun, dun, dun! **_

_**I must say, David/Charming (or at least David) quite deserves some face-palming on the show, but I love bashing on him in fanfics. It's very entertaining, if I do say so myself. **_

_**Of course, there are always the awesome reviewers to thank! DaesGatling, olverabonk, and lollikins—thank you for reading! **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Hello, readers! This is a rather long chapter for you, but I hope you'll enjoy it. Le gasp! Will Charming interrupt Snow's wedding? Will Rumpel and Dark Snow be joined together in marriage? Will someone get smacked around by a book? **_

_**Read on and see…**_

* * *

_Chapter Five_

_Heigh ho, heigh ho, we're off to rescue Snow!_

The dwarfs sang and whistled as they marched through the forest in a single line. Even Charming was smiling foolishly and eventually joined in, though he was horrible at whistling.

The only one who wasn't singing was Grumpy, who was gripping the handle of his pick-axe and frowning. The singing started up again, from the beginning. _Ah, come on! This is the fifteenth verse! It never ends!_

"Alright, the next person who sings _Heigh Ho_ gets a pick-axe in their toe!" Everyone stared at Grumpy, armed with his axe. Charming burst into laughter.

"That rhymed," he pointed out. Grumpy mocked his laughing and then slammed the handle of his pick-axe into Charming's foot. Charming yelped and hopped up and down. "Ow, ow, ow! What in all the gods…? I think my toe is broken!"

"You'll live," Grumpy grumbled, urging the group to move forward. Time was waning fast and there were still miles to go before they reached the Dark Castle where Rumpelstiltskin resided. Sneezy sneezed, Sleepy yawned, and Happy cheered Charming up.

"It could be worse. You could have lost a leg and then you'd have to crawl to Snow. But even that has a bright side. It would be romantic." Charming nodded, limping behind the other dwarfs.

"I would crawl for Snow, if that's what it took. I'd fall before her feet and beg her to come back. And then her and I would be the ones getting married and then we would ride off into the sunset—" Grumpy groaned.

"Nice to dream, ain't it, _sister? _You want to lose that leg? Not as romantic as you think. Instead of kissing Snow, you'll be kissing the floor." Charming was silenced. _It's going to be a long trip yet. _

* * *

It was nearing the evening, long shadows casting over the floors and the sun slipping away into the earth. Not that the curtains were often drawn—they were nailed down.

Snow wandered about the transformed entrance hall, her black cloak sweeping across the floor behind her. The spinning wheel was in the library, much as it pained Rumpelstiltskin to move it from its usual spot. The tables were removed, including the dining table. A single dark red rose decorated every windowsill, the floral scent as seductive as wine.

All that was left in the hall was a pedestal where those two puppets sat, staring blankly ahead. She supposed they could count as wedding guests. _At least they're not likely to object. _

It was almost time. She was supposed to be in her room getting ready, but she had found herself waiting for Rumpelstiltskin's return. He had been gone for a couple of hours now, though he never explained his urgent errand. _You'll see, dearie. Just one more matter to handle before the ceremony, _he had said.

As she drifted to the stairs, the black wedding dress waiting on her bed in her room, the front doors burst open unexpectedly.

Rumpelstiltskin strode in, grinning like a madman. He waved his hand and the doors slammed shut magically. Snow was awed. _That is incredible. If only he'd teach me how to do magic. I could chuck rocks at Charming's head without even touching him. _

"What's this? You're not in your wedding dress yet? Don't tell me you've changed your mind while I was gone and decided to go naked," he quipped as he glided to the pedestal. Snow's eyes never faltered from him as he scrambled for something in one of his pockets.

"That would be quite the surprise, wouldn't it? And I have not changed my mind _that_ much. You're exaggerating," she accused him, crossing to where he stood. His eyes gleamed and a toothy smile danced on his lips.

"Am I? Twenty-eight times this morning, dearie," he reminded her.

Snow pouted—so she'd been unable to decide about the length of her dress. At one point, Rumpelstiltskin had made it so short, it barely fell past her thighs.

She gave him a sharp look that suggested it should have been obvious.

"A woman always needs to look her best," she told him. She gestured to his leather ensemble. "All you have to do is throw on a pair of leather pants and you're suddenly the height of perfection in the Enchanted Forest."

Rumpelstiltskin lifted an eyebrow and leaned close to her face.

"My, was that a compliment I heard from my dark beauty? If you always need to look your best, what was your excuse for the squirrel fur?" Snow wrapped her cloak tighter around her; it felt velvety soft underneath her fingers.

"I was running through the forest for years because my useless stepmother was trying to kill me and had made false claims against me. I would have worn leaves and mud if I were desperate enough," she retorted. Rumpelstiltskin's eyes traveled down her body, as if he were trying to imagine that. "And how is it that I give you a compliment and you hand me an insult?"

Rumpelstiltskin giggled and perched against the pedestal.

"Compliments make you vulnerable, Snow. Being the considerate fiance, I'll let you throw an insult at me if it will make you feel better. Go ahead—give me your worst," he challenged her. Snow raised her chin in defiance and gazed critically at him.

"You are…" She trailed off, her mind empty. "Your hair is…your leather pants are…" Snow exhaled in frustration and Rumpelstiltskin's amusement grew. He gleefully waited for her response. "You are the most…"

Rumpelstiltskin leaped away from the pedestal and was suddenly in front of her, leering down into her face.

"Admit it, dearie. You can't think of a single insult to aim at me, not in your current state of mind. Guess I'm just…_perfect._" Snow crossed her arms and nudged his chest to push him away.

"What was so urgent that you couldn't explain it to me?" _A deal? A sale for leather pants? The Queen always used to search the bargain bins for her garments and then she'd complain when someone else stole a pair of leather pants first. _

Snow watched as Rumpelstiltskin held up a finger and dived into his pocket again. He fished around and then his face lit up as he pulled his hand out, which was curled into a fist. There was a slight mumbling inside his fist and Snow's eyes narrowed. _What is that small and still talks? _

Rumpelstiltskin swept close to the pedestal and unfurled his fingers, letting the thing drop next to the puppets. It was a cricket. A cricket in a little suit with a little umbrella. _Jiminy? _Snow stared at him as he coughed.

"That is the best I could do for our wedding, dearie. Turns out not many people wish to join in with the Dark One's wedding," he said, flicking at the cricket until he fell over. She glanced at Rumpelstiltskin, clearly unimpressed. "Unless I threaten to ruin them, of course."

"Darling, when I told you I'd take a cricket as the only available means of marrying us, I was kidding," she said. Jiminy sputtered and bumped into the puppets' feet. He looked up at them and shrieked.

"Oh, I forgot how terrifying their situation is," Jiminy mumbled as he backed away and tumbled off the pedestal. His umbrella opened and he floated down, right into Rumpelstiltskin's palm. Rumpelstiltskin dumped him back on the pedestal.

"As I said, it was the best I could do under such short notice," Rumpelstiltskin replied, shrugging. Jiminy finally noticed Snow and gasped.

"Snow! You're here! But…but the Queen—"

"The Queen is dead. And I am getting married," she declared frostily, turning away from the cricket. Jiminy shook his head solemnly.

"But Snow…killing the Queen was an act born from revenge. You are drowning out your conscience by marrying Rumpelstiltskin. It will sever any remaining ties you have to what is good…you can't—" Rumpelstiltskin glowered at the cricket.

"Word to the wise, cricket: either you agree to marry us or you will find yourself being crushed with an object strangely shaped like a book," he threatened.

Snow laughed dryly at that. Jiminy huffed and hopped closer towards Rumpelstiltskin.

"You wouldn't. It's not right," he protested. Snow rolled her eyes.

_"It's not right," _she mimicked Jiminy in a squeaky voice.

Rumpelstiltskin's eyes glinted mischievously as he materialized a book in his palm, hovering it over Jiminy's body. He started to bring it down and Jiminy screeched, opening his umbrella for safety.

"Okay, okay. I…I will see that you two are married; just don't hit me with the book! It's painful straightening out my limbs again!"

Rumpelstiltskin made the book disappear and replaced it with a glass jar that he placed over Jiminy, trapping him. Jiminy banged the sides of the glass with the handle of his umbrella. _Aww, perhaps we can keep him as our pet. _

"Glad to hear it. Wouldn't want our little helper mysteriously escaping, would we?" He turned to Snow, who was observing the exchange with rapid attentiveness. His lips curled for her and he brushed a strand of her dark hair from her shoulder. "It's high time you prepared for me, my darling fiancée."

Snow eyed his dark leather pants curiously.

"And what about you?"

He glanced down and practically danced to the stairs. She could have sworn he was swinging his hips on purpose so she would be more apt to admire the view. _And what a view it is, _she thought, tilting her head in wonder.

"Don't you worry, Snow. You'll have your own surprise. It will be worth your while."

* * *

It was time. _Finally. _

Snow inhaled deeply and studied herself in the mirror one last time. Her red lips were firmly set, but inside she was pleased. The black dress did look amazing on her. Why did she ever doubt it? It hugged her thin waist before spiraling down and flowing just beyond her stride. Her black hair was swept up onto her head, leaving her neck and cleavage generously exposed.

Satisfied, she smiled without warmth and left her room, following the elegant corridor to the entrance hall where Rumpelstiltskin waited for his bride. She never second guessed what she was about to do—it seemed like a good idea and perhaps being near someone so powerful would prove to have some advantages.

As she approached, she could hear him gleefully humming a marriage theme. She smirked and smoothed down her dress. _Oh, that imp is so looking forward to having me as a wife. Just wait until he sees what plans I have for us tonight._

Snow started down the marble staircase and her eyes bugged as she caught sight of his attire. The silky pale golden shirt and dark leather vest were nothing short of intriguing, but then her eyes dropped further. Her feet paused and her lips parted in wonder. Gold leather pants. _They're…amazing. __I want to touch them!_

Rumpelstiltskin flashed a hungry look as his mystical eyes devoured her black gown. He extended a hand to her and she took it uncertainly, managing the last few steps.

"Here we are, dearie. If you're thinking of changing your mind for the twenty-ninth time, I suggest you do it now," he said as she took her proper place beside him. Jiminy was standing atop a small table, still trapped under the glass.

"You weren't kidding about the golden leather pants," Snow breathed. She motioned to them as if afraid to corrupt their awesomeness with her touch. Rumpelstiltskin rotated slowly for her to admire.

"Oh, you like these, huh? Only for special occasions." Rumpelstiltskin made the final rotation and spread his arms. "I like to think I look far better _out _of them, if you know what I mean." Snow reluctantly turned her attention back to his face.

"I'm sure you do," Snow replied, tapping a finger against his chest. Rumpelstiltskin lifted the glass jar without moving his dark gaze from Snow. He stretched an arm towards her and she hooked her arm through his.

"Shall we begin?"

* * *

"Keep up, Charming! Sleepy's doing a better job than you," Grumpy barked over his shoulder as the group hiked to the top of the mountains where the Dark Castle loomed above the rest of the Enchanted Forest.

It had gotten chilly now, their breath fogging in the air. Charming was dragging his injured foot, whimpering under his breath.

"My…toe…hurts and…it's…cold," he gasped. He stopped to bend over and catch his breath. Doc awkwardly patted him on the back.

"That's not my fault, sister. You were the one laughing," Grumpy retorted. He was tired, it was almost sundown, and they'd been walking for so long. Charming lifted his head, his skin chafed from the wind.

"For the last time, _I…am…a…man!_ You don't call men 'sister.' It's just unnatural. It's the same as when Rumpelstiltskin calls me 'dearie.' I'm not a 'dearie!' I think he enjoys mocking me, but…do I honestly look like a 'dearie' to you?"

The dwarfs stared blankly at Charming as he ranted. Bashful leaned shyly towards Sneezy, obviously confused as he scratched his head.

"Uh, why did we…uh…bring this guy again?" Sneezy covered his nose to keep from sneezing.

"Because…_ahtchoo!_ Because he's Snow White's true love." Dopey shook his head, not comprehending. Grumpy sighed, glaring at Charming.

"Are you finished…_sister?"_ Charming threw his hands in the air in frustration, but swallowed the rest of his protests.

"Yes, I'm done," he admitted reluctantly. Grumpy trooped around the remaining bend and shielded his eyes from the sun. The others waited in silence.

"Good. We're here," he stated, pointing ahead. The group rushed forward to scrutinize the Dark Castle; most of them had never laid eyes on it before. Most of them had never even traveled this far before.

Charming had to admit it was impressive. _Well, I might not like that giggling imp, but even I can't deny…he's got style. _

The dwarfs hurried the rest of the way to the entrance, each one praying they were not too late. Happy lifted a polite hand to knock, but Grumpy caught him by the wrist.

"Don't bother. Stupid imp never answers. We'd be eight ice statues standing out here for hours. Personally, I think he's afraid some old hag will try to sell him flowers or some little girl will want him to buy cookies."

Charming's blue eyes sparkled with puzzlement.

"I always buy roses and cookies. How can you say no to those little faces?" Grumpy eyed Charming strangely, as if he had just stripped naked.

"That's it. I don't care if you're Snow White's true love, you're staying home next time. Seriously, what does she see in you?" Charming seemed hurt by that insult. He frowned.

"You…you don't…mean that," Charming quivered. Grumpy rolled his eyes. _Trust me, Charming, I mean every word. _

The dwarfs felt the tension in the air and readied their pick-axes. Time for battle.

"Ready, brothers?" Doc's voice was full of command. Charming drew his sword and nearly disemboweled Grumpy. "I know we're all eager and maybe a little nervous…but let's wait until we _get inside _to start disemboweling."

Grumpy laid a hand on the smooth surface of the door. He glanced back at his fellow dwarfs with a confident smile.

"Let's take back our Snow!" And they all roared in unison as they infiltrated the Dark Castle.

* * *

_Oh, I wish I were somewhere else. Marriage is supposed to be shared between two people who love each other. This goes against my whole moral code! Oh, why did I have to choose today to go hopping through the forest? _

"So…right. Do you…Rumpelstiltskin…take Snow White to be your wife, for better—" Jiminy was struggling through this ceremony, practically sweating as he arranged this marriage.

"Yes, yes. I do," he interrupted, waving off all the other ceremonial wording.

Snow's lips lifted a little and Rumpelstiltskin patted her hand. Jiminy hopped closer to Snow, wracking his little brain for any solution to get Snow out of here. Or maybe he could stall until Charming showed up—he was Snow's true love after all. _That might work. _

"Um…hey, you know, Snow. You look pretty in that dress. Still, I always figured white was your color. It's so…pure. And then there's yellow, bright like the sun and then—" Snow narrowed her eyes at Jiminy suspiciously. Rumpelstiltskin swept Jiminy up into his fist.

"You wouldn't happen to be s_talling, _would you, my little cricket friend?" Jiminy gasped for air and Rumpelstiltskin tossed him back on the table. Jiminy drew in gales of fresh air and fixed his little suit.

"No, no, of course not! Why would you think that? I was just…making some helpful suggestions," he nervously explained. Snow bent forward, a few pieces of her hair swinging loose.

"Well, you can keep your suggestions to yourself," Snow snapped coldly. Jiminy bobbed his head frantically. _So much for that plan. _

"Sorry. Okay, Snow…do you take this, uh…do you take Rumpelstiltskin to be your husband for better or worse, in sickness and in health…'til death do you part?" _Please say no, please say no, please say no, _Jiminy prayed with all his little heart.

"With death being the least likely, at least for me," Rumpelstiltskin added. _Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes…_

"I do," she pronounced the two syllables clearly. Rumpelstiltskin squeezed her hand meaningfully and grinned victoriously. Jiminy hopped back in surprise.

"Are you sure? Because marriage really is a big decision and there might be others out there. Like Charming for example. I like that fellow—"

_"Book!" _Rumpelstiltskin conjured the book and made to smack Jiminy with it. Jiminy cowered and covered his face. Rumpelstiltskin giggled at the cricket's fear.

"Then, by the power vested in me, Jiminy Cricket, even though I'd rather be somewhere else, I now pronounce you…" Jiminy never finished as the entrance doors burst open. Snow whirled to witness Charming and the seven dwarfs stomping into the castle.

"Ughh," she groaned, hanging her head. Why was everyone so against this marriage thing? Rumpelstiltskin seemed like he wanted to take that book and smack Charming instead. Charming who was limping forward like a lame donkey.

"Wait! I…I ob...I…" He was out of breath and in pain. Grumpy lowered his pick-axe and shook his head.

"Oh, for Stealthy's sake…We object," Grumpy announced irritably. Snow pursed her lips as Charming shuffled forward, his sword gripped in his hand. At this rate, he couldn't even slay a turtle.

"Oh, thank heavens for that," Jiminy sighed, collapsing onto the table. Rumpelstiltskin shot him a dangerous, menacing look as he raised the book threateningly. "I-I mean…uh…_chirp, chirp." _Jiminy breathed with relief as Rumpelstiltskin decidedly dropped the book.

"Yeah…yeah…that," Charming choked out as he approached Snow White. She scowled at him.

Instead of embracing her like everyone imagined he would, he faced Rumpelstiltskin. Snow muttered under her breath. _Oh, now he gallantly defends my honor. How charming of him. _

"But first…could you heal my toe? It really hurts," Charming moaned, pointing to his toe. Rumpelstiltskin glanced down at it and leaned against the table. He crossed one leg over the other and made a show of considering it.

"Despite the fact you crashed our wedding and brought in this group of munchkins…" The dwarfs broke into angry protests. Grumpy poked Rumpelstiltskin in the chest with his pickaxe, gritting his teeth.

"Hey, buddy. Are you blind? We're _dwarfs," _he corrected, gesturing to their little group of men. Rumpelstiltskin eyed the pickaxe as if Grumpy were presenting him with a rose and slapped it away.

"Ooh, yes. My mistake. That title's really a step up," he mocked, his lips puckering over the last 'p.' Grumpy growled. Charming straightened and gazed at Grumpy in disbelief.

"You called me 'sister', but you refuse to do the same for him? Why?" Grumpy shrugged carelessly. _I cannot believe we are arguing about the proper format of insults. _

"Because he's the Dark One and last time he…he threatened to turn me into a puppet and use me as a firewood. And he even turned my legs wooden, too!" The dwarfs' eyes grew wide and Jiminy swayed like he was going to pass out. Snow snickered at that memory.

"That's right, dearie. And I can do it again. As for your pathetic toe…I _suppose _I could heal it. For a price," he tacked on like he often did. Charming sulked his shoulders and moaned as he stepped forward.

"What's your price?" Charming spat the words at him, unhappy that there was indeed a price. There was always a price. Rumpelstiltskin bridged his hands together and then became increasingly animated.

"My price? Leave my castle at once and never return," he roared.

Charming's eyes shifted to Snow, who was ignoring him completely. Charming shook his head. He abruptly raised his sword and directed it at Rumpelstiltskin, jumping in front of Snow to protect her.

"Never. I came here for Snow and I'm not leaving without her, beast!" Rumpelstiltskin feigned offense at the insulting term, his hand pressed over his heart. His wide eyes flickered to Snow over Charming's shoulder and he grinned darkly.

"In your dreams, Charming," Snow muttered as she stepped on his hurt toe and brought the discarded book down on Charming's head, knocking him to the ground. The sword flew from his hand and Rumpelstiltskin caught it easily. He ran a finger over the blade.

"Hmm…this is a nice sword. Who would've known?"

Snow breathed heavily as she set the book on the table. The dwarfs stared at Charming's fallen body in shock and then aimed their pickaxes for Rumpelstiltskin. He leveled the sword for them, as though prepared to battle all seven of them.

"Alright, dwarfs. Charge at him," Grumpy ordered.

Simultaneously, the dwarfs rushed forward. In one swift move, Rumpelstiltskin waved his hand before them. A smoky purple cloud eclipsed the dwarfs and the unconscious Charming. When it cleared, they were gone.

Jiminy stuttered.

"Wha…wha…what have you done to them?" Snow looked quite impressed, which was what truly mattered to Rumpelstiltskin. He practiced swinging the sword in his hand and smiled.

"Oh, nothing serious. I simply figured they would enjoy running about the Infinite Forest for a while. I believe it's past time we finished our little ceremony."

Snow nodded and, when the proper moment came, she had no qualms about allowing Rumpelstiltskin to give her the kiss that would ultimately bind them together, all the while gripping Charming's sword in his right hand.

"You're mine."

* * *

_**Oh, Charming. Another epic fail on your report card. And another epic win for Rumpel's. (-; **_

_**I also want to thank all those that reviewed recently. I'm glad you're enjoying the story—DaesGatling, olverabonk, lollikins, anon, Kendra Luehr, Lyn Harkeran, The Sky Pirate Girl, and GwenCooper456. **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: This chapter is regrettably shorter than the last, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. Cheers for Rumpel and Dark Snow! **_

_Chapter Six_

_Ow…my head. Where…where am I? And what in holy crickets is hitting my head? _

"I think…_ahtchoo! _He's coming around." That was definitely Sneezy, somewhere above him. Beneath him was something soft and cool. He tried to open his eyes, but the glaring sunlight hurt too much.

"Well, it's about time! I've been nudging his head for a whole five minutes. I'm getting tired," the distorted voice of Sleepy mumbled as he yawned. A shifting of heavy footsteps on the ground.

"Don't be hitting his head like that!" A gruff voice scolded. The hitting stopped. He sighed with relief, eyes still closed. _Thank you, _he wanted so much to say. "It's hard as a rock. If you _really _want to wake Charming up, you gotta do this!"

A foot came down on a particularly sensitive spot and Charming's eyes burst open in agony. He shrieked and rolled onto his side, rubbing the throbbing spot. _Oh, gods! Right in the family jewels!_

Charming swayed as he stumbled to his feet, a sheen of sweat covering his face. There was nothing but green and brown as far as he could see. Forest, forest, and more forest. None of it looked familiar.

"Where are we?" The other dwarfs shrugged, looking quite lost. They had probably never been so far from their home. Grumpy glared.

"Thanks to you, Charming, we could be anywhere! You were supposed to kiss Snow! We gave you one simple task: kiss Snow White. Not '_please, oh please, Rumpelstiltskin, can you fix my broken toe!'" _Grumpy smacked Charming on the back of the head, making him fall forward to the ground.

"Well, if you hadn't broken my toe, it wouldn't require fixing! And now…Snow's married to an imp! I have to go back! I have to find her again!" Charming ignored his aching toe and started through the dense forest. The footsteps of the dwarfs followed behind him, snapping twigs.

"Charming, we could be on the other side of the Enchanted Forest—" Doc tried reasoning with the prince.

"I don't care! I don't care if all ten of my toes are broken! I will find her. These branches are in the way!" Charming reached for his sword, but his hip was lacking one. "Where did my sword go?"

"Rumpelstiltskin took it before sending us to…wherever we are," Grumpy explained. Charming looked horrified. He kept patting his hip as if expecting it to reappear magically.

"That was the sword I used to slay that dragon! I was going to show it to my child one day!" Grumpy rolled his eyes, pushing past Charming. _If you ever have one at this rate. _

"You can ask for it back…once we find Snow again," Grumpy declared. Charming nodded and impatiently slapped the branches out of the way. The dwarfs walked in a silent line—there weren't even any birds singing.

"I have a feeling this will be a long trip," Charming said as he followed behind Grumpy and Doc. If there was one thing Charming was always good at, it was looking at the bright side of things. Never letting any situation get him down. He started humming. _"Heigh ho, heigh ho—"_

Grumpy whirled around.

"Do you want another broken toe?"

"Hey, that rhymed again. Ow!"

...

"Did you find him yet?" The Blue Fairy floated in front of the Magic Mirror, drowning in worry. Her senses were telling her something was wrong.

The Mirror had his eyes closed, but the Blue Fairy knew he was scanning the Enchanted Forest for Charming. If a person was out there, the Mirror could almost always find them one way or another. This…this was taking too long.

"Sorry, Tinkerbell. I don't see him anywhere. Where in the realm can he possibly be?" The Mirror opened his eyes, lines on his face indicating he was tired. The Blue Fairy zoomed close, sparkling blue like an evening star.

"Please, try once more! This is important!" The Mirror appeared thoughtful.

"Like getting your hands on the last strawberry tart important?" The Blue Fairy nodded wildly.

"Even more important than that! Only bad things can come from two dark souls being bound together. He has to be in the realm somewhere!" The Mirror's eyes widened.

"Holy gods. Alright, I'm on it," the Mirror announced and closed his eyes once more. It was only a minute later before he exclaimed: "Eureka! I've found him and, boy, has our prince epically failed this time."

The Blue Fairy prepared for the worst. _Please don't tell me Charming destroyed Rumpelstiltskin's leather pants. And then he blows people to dust. It's always a mess popping up and explaining to that imp why he can't do that. And then he goes off into an odd rant about the importance of his wardrobe and criticizes mine. My skirt does not look like a jellyfish! _

The Mirror's floating face was replaced by an image of Charming and the dwarfs. Her wings nearly snapped off. Charming was stuck in the Infinite Forest. And he was _humming. _

"Oh, no," she moaned as Charming did hopeless circles. The image faded and the Mirror returned to normal.

"Oh, yes. I don't need to remind you that the only three people who know how to gain access to the Infinite Forest are you, Regina, and—"

"Rumpelstiltskin," they said in unison. The Blue Fairy sailed off for the open window. "It's not over yet!" The Mirror yawned; maybe he'd pass the time with a nap. It was a lot quieter without Regina's constant hissy fits and moaning.

"Good luck!" _You're going to need it where Charming is concerned. _

_..._

Directly after the ceremony, with their little cricket trapped under the glass jar again, Snow followed Rumpelstiltskin up the marble stairs. It was incredible to think that she was married to the most powerful man in the realm. Certainly it might lack love, but not all marriages required love. All you needed was determination.

For the first time, he led her to his own bedchambers, which were far larger than hers. The drapes were drawn, casting it in dim shadows. Tonight, they planned to initiate their newly formed marriage.

"Here we are, Snow. The place where all the magic happens—or shall happen, anyway," he announced, lingering in the center of the room. Snow examined the room, often times gliding past him though their bodies barely brushed.

With a rough wave of his hand, the door closed, blocking out the view of the hall and officially submersing them in the shadows. Snow gazed at the closed door in awe.

"Can you teach me to do that?" Snow glanced at him inquiringly—she could make out his features as her eyes adjusted. A slight quirk lifted his lips, though he did not return her gaze.

"I can teach you plenty of things, dearie. Just know: all magic comes with a price." It sounded like an ominous warning. She leaned close until he turned his head to her.

"Even for this type of magic?" Her red lips hovered near his, waiting to see what he would do. There was an air of dark power to him and she wondered what that power could do once they were bound together.

"There is always a price," he assured her, though he did not make a sudden move to touch her. It was as though he were unsure how to proceed with her. "You're going to have to make your move, dearie. It's been centuries."

Rumpelstiltskin eyed her expectantly, waiting for that first move to make itself known. Teasingly, Snow traced a porcelain-white finger across his golden-gray lips and seemed satisfied when his lips parted under her touch. His tongue darted out to taste her skin and she captured his mouth with hers.

Wrapping her arms around his body, it was only a minute or so before he took control, returning her kiss and pulling her close. His hands slipped down her back and struggled with the ties of her wedding dress. Finally, he broke their kiss and lifted his head to the ceiling.

"My gods, woman!" Rumpelstiltskin waved his hand again and the seams split apart, the dress pooling at Snow's feet.

"Not one to beat around the bush, are you?" Snow stepped over the discarded dress and into Rumpelstiltskin's embrace once more. He smirked.

"Depends on who the bush is," he remarked, wide eyes glinting deviously. He released one of his mad giggles and peered longingly at her bare skin. "At least you're not wearing a corset."

Snow grimaced at the mention of it.

"The only time I'd wear a corset is if I suddenly lost the urgency to breathe," she replied, entwining her fingers through Rumpelstiltskin's hair. "Now, where were we?"

Rumpelstiltskin flashed his less-than-perfect teeth and pulled her in for another heated kiss. He was nothing short of impressed by her fierce determination—she was transforming from a soft kitten to a wicked lioness. _For a beginner, she's not half-bad. _

In one swoop, Rumpelstiltskin lifted her and brought her to the bed, his legs straddling her body. Snow's fingers grazed his chest and frantically eased his clothing open and off. His lips trailed down her neck while her hands tried to slip his leather pants off.

"These leather pants are skin tight!" Rumpelstiltskin gazed down at her in mockery.

"You weren't complaining at all before this moment!" Snow sighed and laid her hands on the bed, giving up all effort of parting him from his precious leather.

"Do your magic-wavey thing," she said, gesturing to his stubborn gold leather pants. Rumpelstiltskin stared at her blankly and then snapped his fingers. The leather pants vanished, leaving his skin exposed for her. Snow smiled. "I truly do like you in leather pants, though."

"I know, dearie," he replied with an eager smile. And then he kissed her again.

* * *

_**Thank you, readers, for the reviews, by the way. DaesGatling, olverabonk, Lyn Harkeran, The Sky Pirate Girl, QuickSilverFox3—you guys are great, as always. (-; **_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Good news—this chapter has a bit of Snow/Rumpel goodness. And yeah, Charming's here, too. (-; **_

_**Hope you all enjoy it. **_

_Chapter Seven_

The golden sunlight crept across the floor, washed over the bed, and soaked into her skin, stirring her awake with its warmth. Snow White buried her head in her pillow, moaning as she clung to the last strands of sleep.

Rumpelstiltskin, she sensed, was already awake beside her. His breathing was shallow on her skin, not the deep breathing of one sleeping soundly. Still, he kept one arm around her waist while the other began to stroke her back soothingly. It reminded her of the night before, his caresses and nips so tender that he seemed more of a gentle prince than a cruel beast.

Snow leaned her head back into his chest as he cradled her.

"Must we get up already?" She groaned, keeping her eyes closed against the sun. Rumpelstiltskin's fingers paused and she felt his lips near her ear, barely making contact.

"Indeed we must, dearie. I have deals to make, straw to spin, magic to perform," he said, though a hint of reluctance marred his voice as well. Snow rolled over to face him, lifting herself up on one elbow.

"Funny. I thought you were already performing magic. Right here," she taunted him, gesturing to the bed they were currently sharing. She shrugged loosely, settling back down and tucking the sheets under her arms. "Then I suppose there's no need to repeat it tonight."

Rumpelstiltskin grinned maliciously, his hand slipping under the sheet to squeeze her thigh.

"Careful, Snow. Remember what I said about price. I can be rather…greedy," he advised her, dipping his head close to her lips.

Teasingly, he pulled back and began to dress for the day. Snow sat up to watch him don his leather pants—a dark shade today. _It'd be fascinating if the color of his leather pants depended on his mood. _

"Why can't I learn magic? Surely it's not that difficult. Are you afraid I'll turn you into a toad?" Rumpelstiltskin's smile grew and his golden eyes sparkled with glee. His chest quivered slightly and it took her a moment to realize he was laughing at her. "What's so funny?"

A shrill giggle escaped his lips as he glided over to her, pointing a finger at her.

"I'd love to see you try, dearie. Personally, I don't believe these leather pants would look as good. And those warts would ruin my complexion. But, by all means, _try_," he challenged her, waving a hand before his dark face.

Snow raised an eyebrow at his golden-gray skin. _Oh, yes. I'd be a monster to ruin such highly-coveted skin. _

Rumpelstiltskin straightened, his face softening just a bit. He whirled in the direction of the mirror to finish making the last touches to his outfit, though she knew he was gazing at her reflection.

"Teach me," she demanded, her red lips tightening into a stubborn line. Rumpelstiltskin turned this way and that, examining his leather ensemble from all angles. At last, satisfied, he smirked.

"If you insist. Perhaps I could offer a quick lesson before duty calls. Dress and meet me in the library." Without another word, he left the room. She was halfway dressed before the door slammed closed with a pinch of magic.

* * *

"I'm tired." _One, two, three…_

"I'm hungry." _Four, five, six…_

"I'm thirsty." _Seven, eight, nine…_

"I'm—" _Ten._

Grumpy spun around, thrusting a meaty index finger into Charming's face. He'd tried breathing through his grumpiness and counting to ten, but that wasn't doing a single thing. _I need a stuffed animal or something that I can just squeeze to release my anger._

"I'll tell you what you're gonna be, sister. Quiet! Even if I have to take some rocks and shove 'em into your mouth. _Quiet!"_

The dwarfs dragged their feet through the woods, trying to find some way out of the clearing. Sleepy was yawning again and eyeing a log with increasing interest. Charming limped behind Grumpy and Doc.

"We've been walking for hours," Charming groaned, swinging branches out of his face. Doc glanced at him sympathetically.

"Actually, we've only been walking for approximately twenty-one minutes and eighteen seconds," he offered in a modest voice. Charming and Grumpy stared at him in wonder. Doc gave a dry laugh. "Not that I was counting."

It was a tiring process. Every time the group reached the edge of the clearing, ready to delve into the rich, thick forest, they somehow charged forward only to find themselves stalking into another clearing.

No, not _another_ clearing. The same clearing. It seemed like they were running in blind circles.

"What is this? A magic trick?" Grumpy growled as they stopped in the middle of the clearing to glance around at their over-familiar surroundings. It made no sense.

"Can…can we stop for a…a-_ahtchoo!_ For a minute? I need to sneeze," Sneezy begged, leaning against a moss-covered log. Charming's brow furrowed in confusion as he studied the allergy-ridden dwarf.

"You just sneezed," he pointed out. Sneezy wiped his rough sleeve across his nose, his skin becoming chapped from the rubbing.

"I need to sneeze again!" So he sneezed…three times. He was about to sneeze a fourth time when Dopey offered to place his finger under Sneezy's nose to prevent the next sneeze.

"Where are we?" Charming mumbled under his breath. It was a question they'd asked multiple times. The only answer came from the shrugs of the dwarfs' shoulders.

And then…

"You, my friends, are trapped in the Infinite Forest," a familiar tiny voice impeded. Down floated the Blue Fairy, her face a mask of worry.

"What is the Infinite Forest?" Charming bellowed. The dwarfs turned to stare questioningly at him. Charming smiled sheepishly as the Blue Fairy flew a little closer to their faces. Now she just looked ticked off.

"First, I'd appreciate it if you could keep your voice down. Just because I'm _small_ does not mean I have trouble _hearing you!"_ The Blue Fairy flung a brown curl out of her face and sighed. "Second, the Infinite Forest is a magically bound forest that spans for miles. You can never find your way out, not without magic."

Charming broke through the group of dwarfs and leveled a sincere gaze at the little fairy hovering above him.

"I have to find Snow again. Will you help us out of here?" The Blue Fairy smiled sweetly as the dwarfs watched her with renewed hope. She spun around Charming's head a couple of times like an annoying fly you can never squash.

"Of course I will. But first—" The Blue Fairy rapped her wand on Charming's head. Charming exclaimed in surprise and rubbed his forehead. "That was for failing the first time around!" The Blue Fairy raised her wand and was about to wave it accordingly—

"Wait!" Charming shouted, throwing his hands in the air. The Blue Fairy rolled her eyes.

"What _now?_ Are you going to ask who put you in here as well? Because I figured that would be even obvious even to Dopey," she mumbled, gesturing to the dwarf who had a considerable odd expression on his face.

Charming pointed to his foot.

"Can you fix my toes?" The Blue Fairy had noticed Charming's funny way of walking, but hadn't wanted to ask.

Her face softened as she zoomed down to Charming's leg. Usually, she never got so close to the foot area—there was always the one wise-guy who thought it funny to try and stomp on the fairy. And usually that wise-guy's name was Rumpelstiltskin.

"Very well," she muttered, flicking her wand towards Charming's injured foot. After a moment, Charming smiled and even hopped on the recently hurt foot without crumpling to the ground in agony and screams. "Now, let's leave this forsaken place, shall we?"

And, while Charming was still hopping, the Blue Fairy waved her wand again and the Infinite Forest vanished around them.

* * *

"What first? Pulling a rabbit out of a hat?"

Snow White leaned against a small table covered with an assortment of vials while Rumpelstiltskin paced slowly in front of her, pondering. Her eyes traced his movements, back and forth. His steps were giddy, his fingers weaving together in thought.

He halted in his tracks to place a hand upon his chest, feigning hurt.

"Humor me, my darling wife. Magic is more than petty parlor tricks. If done right, it can be quite…powerful." Snow picked up a purple vial and swished around the liquid inside it.

"How did you first obtain your power?" Rumpelstiltskin's eyes grew dark and his lip curled in a sneer. His gaze seemed far-off, as if seeing another time where she could not follow. Snow was about to snap her fingers in front of his face, to be sure he blinked.

"A dark curse, this is. It has embodied me for centuries." After a tense silence, Rumpelstiltskin blinked and waved his hands impatiently. "But enough of that. Not all magic derives from a curse. Sometimes, it exists from the moment of birth. A tiny seedling of power waiting to be tapped. A dark heart is capable of great things."

Snow nodded numbly—she certainly didn't feel magical. Dark, yes. _All thanks to the Queen. _

"All I need is to tap that power and I can learn?" Snow wandered to a vase with a rose on the windowsill.

Gradually, she tipped the vial and a few drops began to coat the red petals, sliding like tears into the heart of the flower. Rumpelstiltskin instantly paused and extended a hand in caution.

"Dearie, you might not want to—" _BOOM!_

The rose exploded in a puff of smoke, ash covering Snow's face. She coughed and wiped the soot away with the back of her hand. It clouded the air like black frost. All that was left of the rose was a thin black stem and brittle petals.

"—use that," Rumpelstiltskin finished, fanning the air with his hand from the thick, burning smell. Snow touched one of the petals and it crumbled under her finger, sprinkling down into the water.

"Whoops," Snow murmured, replacing the vial on the table. Rumpelstiltskin crossed the room and made the other vials vanish. No need for her to destroy the entire castle if he could help it. _At least it was that pathetic rose and not Snow herself. I've never wasted a woman so quickly. _

"Well, Snow…I believe you have your work cut out for you. Your first lesson shall be to restore that rose," he declared, motioning to the blackened flower. Snow eyed it miserably. He almost expected her to stick her tongue out at it.

"That is my task?" Rumpelstiltskin rubbed his hands along her arms reassuringly.

"I shall make you a deal. If you can restore that rose within a half hours' time, I will stay here with you and nevermind the deals today." Snow considered it. How difficult could it be if that magic was lying untapped inside her?

Swiftly, she turned and grasped his hand.

"Deal," she firmly stated. Rumpelstiltskin gripped her hand and pulled her close. His nails caressed the edge of her face.

"Deal." He seemed all too pleased with their arrangement.

Snow took back her hand and turned to the dead rose. Determined, she raised a hand toward it as though ready to command it. _Restore. Come back to life, _she mentally urged the rose with every cell of her body.

Nothing happened. The rose was as black and fragile as ever. Not even a petal lightened in hue. Rumpelstiltskin snickered from behind her as he perched on a stool, crossing one leg over the other.

"Not so easy, is it, love?" Snow sighed in frustration and took a step closer to the rose.

"Abracadabra! Presto! Bibbity Bobbity Boo?" Rumpelstiltskin erupted in a fit of giggles, slapping his hand against his knee. Snow spun to glare at him.

"What are you, the Blue Fairy? You certainly are more destructive. I'd say it's more like 'Bibbity Bobbity _Boom!"_ Snow clenched her fists as he nearly doubled over in his laughter.

"What am I doing wrong?" Snow gave him a serious look, pouting at her failed attempt. Controlling his laughter, Rumpelstiltskin rose and urged her to face the rose again. His hands rested on her shoulders, holding her in place.

"First, never say things like 'Bibbity Bobbity Boo' unless you happen to be an inch tall and wearing a jellyfish skirt with wings. Other than that…it's quite simple. You must harness that power of yours. You must want it more than anything," he whispered _'anything' _in her ear.

Snow narrowed her eyes and pictured the rose blooming in her mind. The silence of the library encouraged her. She pictured the rose, healthy and bright; longed for it. _I want it. More than anything. _

"You must want it more than anything," he repeated as his hands slipped down her arms, his thumbs rubbing into her skin. Snow shook her head to fight off the sudden dark coil of desire in her belly. _"Anything,"_ came the silkiness of his voice as his lips brushed the skin of her neck. His tongue traced underneath her ear, his breath tickling her skin.

And the rose was hopelessly black.

"That is not fair. You are distracting me," she accused him, whirling around. Her cheeks colored with a light pink. Rumpelstiltskin inclined his head mischievously, the sun catching the golden streaks in his hair.

"The deal never discouraged against distractions," he pointed out. Snow's mouth dropped open in disbelief. She stomped her foot childishly on the floor.

"That is cheating. The intent is clear—" Rumpelstiltskin made a screeching noise, holding up a palm. Snow gazed at him curiously.

"Intent is meaningless, dearie. There is no _intent _in my deals. Leaves room for…" He paused to tent his fingers together, mocking her with the dramatic act of thinking. Then he snapped his fingers. "Loopholes." Snow raised her chin defiantly.

"I'd like to renegotiate, then. No distractions," she declared, crossing her arms. Rumpelstiltskin's eyes gleamed as he brushed a fine hand along his leather ensemble.

"Sorry, Snow. That's not what I do. The deal had already been struc_k_." His lilting voice drew out the sharp 'k' and she could have sworn it resounded around the stillness of the library.

Snow licked her lips and turned back to the rose. _If that's the game we shall play, let the game begin. _She could sense Rumpelstiltskin's close proximity behind her, his caresses teasing her. She closed her mind, ignoring his touch the best she could.

Her eyes drank in the charred rose. Across the dry petals that had once been soft and velvety to the touch, over the leaves that had been green as the dewy grass in spring, down the length of the burned stem that had been the rose's admirable support and strength, absent of fierce thorns.

Just as her mind ached from the concentration, one leaf twitched, transforming into an emerald green. One of the petals fluttered, its black hue becoming a ruby shade.

"Hah! It's working!" Snow exclaimed, practically leaping into the air. And just as she did, her concentration broke and the flower withered once more. Snow growled. "For the likes of Charming! I had it! It was nearly there!"

Rumpelstiltskin registered the rising of the golden sun—a half hour gone by in her determination. He pecked her on the cheek and spun on his heel, spinning his lovely wheel as he strode past it.

"All I see is _black_. Better luck next time. Oh, and…be a dear and clean the entrance hall while I'm gone," he requested before he vanished, smug and giggling all the way.

* * *

_**I also have my lovely reviewers to thank. DaesGatling, olverabonk, Lyn Harkeran, The Sky Pirate Girl, and foxfireOUAT—you guys are amazing, as always. **_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Hello, all my lovely readers! This chapter was actually really fun to write. So, I hope you enjoy it just as much. Remember that awesome, memorable line that has been drilled into our heads by our favorite imp? All magic comes with a price…**_

**_Chapter Eight_**

Snow stood with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring defiantly down at the mop, broom, and bucket of water that were placed near the grand steps of the main hall.

She tapped her foot impatiently as she eyed the dust that was literally _everywhere. _It coated the table, the ledges of the windows, the walls. There were even small dust motes dancing in the dim sunlight.

She didn't want to clean. But she didn't want to risk Rumpelstiltskin putting up a fit because his request was not obeyed. There'd been hushed talk about his legendary rage and, although she was sure her temper could match it, she'd rather not waste her precious energy arguing with him. Besides, that passionate affair the previous night had been quite impressive and she wouldn't mind a repeat.

_Why can't these mops and brooms be useful and clean the hall themselves? _Snow entertained the thought of the brooms bursting from the closets and sweeping across the floor. She laughed at the ridiculous notion even as she wandered to a pedestal where a wizard's hat rested.

It was ridiculous…but, oh, how she wanted it to be true. _And all the while I'll just lounge in Rumpelstiltskin's chair and watch the show. Oh, I want it. _

A rough scratching noise sounded behind her and she spun towards it. The broom was moving. It rattled across the floor, as if struggling to upright itself. It lifted an inch or two in the air before clattering to the ground again.

_Well, what do you know? If only it could do a little more…no, I want this broom to do more! I want it. Imagine if it could clean this hall itself. I want it. Do it,_ she mentally commanded the shabby broom, narrowing her eyes in concentration.

The broom quaked in its spot, but failed to do anything else. Snow exhaled furiously through her nose. _Pathetic broom. I said work!_

The broom jolted like before, except this time it swung upwards until it was standing directly in front of Snow. Rhythmically, the broom began to sweep up the dust on the floor without a single finger to guide it.

Snow smiled victoriously. _Take that, Rumpelstiltskin! This place will be spotless in no time, all thanks to a little magic. Hmm…the floor could use a good wash as well. _

In her mind, she pictured buckets of water splashing over the floor and making it sparkle. Buckets and buckets of soapy water for the windows as well—and without any work from her! What a sight that would be! _Yes, that's what I want. I want the brooms and water to clean this hall. Clean it from floor to ceiling! _

Snow willed it, imagined it, wished for it with every cell of her being. When she opened her eyes, the bucket of water had joined the broom and dumped its contents over the floor. The mop was working away along with the river of water.

Snow could have leaped in the air with excitement. The power that she felt coursing through her veins, spawned by the Evil Queen's demise…she had never felt anything like it. She loved it. _Who ever said power was such a bad thing when it could accomplish so much? _

As the broom, mop, and water did her bidding, Snow wandered back upstairs. After such a troubling exercise of the mind, she deserved a little beauty sleep.

….

_Swimming…drowning…_

_Except she wasn't the one drowning. It was Charming. _

_Snow was near the river, dressed in that horrible squirrel fur. She stared at it distastefully. _Here I thought I was done with this outfit. I could have sworn Rumpelstiltskin burned it.

_Charming was now standing a few feet from her, soaking wet in his royal clothes and leather pants. She sneered at him as he dried his hands on his chest. _

_"My husband would look so much better in those leather pants than you do," she mocked him. Charming's eyes grew wide, his expression pained. Snow closed her eyes to fight the urge of rolling them._

Great. Please don't tell me he's going to cry. I don't want to have to explain to Rumpelstiltskin why my shoulder is wet from him crying on it. Though, he'd probably giggle and ask me to bring him along next time.

_"You…Snow, you can't mean that!" Charming placed a hand over his heart as if it were breaking inside his chest. Snow was unaffected, brushing it off as easily as a fly. Except she'd prefer the fly's company. _

_"I do. He even has gold ones. You could say his wardrobe is one of his best assets." Charming took a step closer to her, extending a hand to touch her. Snow took a step back, remaining just out of his reach. _

_"But he's not your true love! I am!" Charming tried to touch her face, but Snow swatted his hand away. She eyed the river and smiled dangerously. _

_"I hope those leather pants allow you to swim, Charmless." _

_"It's Charming," he corrected lightly. Snow clutched his clothing and pushed him into the river. Charming struggled to keep his head above the current and Snow laughed at his hopeless kicking. _

_"As if there's a difference," she remarked, turning to head back to the castle where her husband would be waiting with his much more fashionable leather pants and perhaps a warm drink. If he managed to leave her some, that is. _

_Except there was one obstacle in her way—and its name was Charming, apparently. _

_"Why do you keep doing that?" Snow glared at him as Charming shook the water off his body. Every time she threw him into the river, he'd pop back up. There was no getting rid of him. Or was that the point? _

_"Because I know how to swim," he replied as if that were the most obvious fact in the world. For others, it may have been. For Charming, it was a miracle from the gods. She just expected he'd float down the river until he got caught on something. Charming smiled sheepishly. "And I…sort of…lost my pants." _

_Snow glanced down and saw that his legs were bare. The cold water was making Charming shiver in his place. _

_"There's either a huge piranha with a taste for leather in there…or I swam so fast that I swam right out of my pants." Snow pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Who ever heard of someone losing a pair of leather pants in a river? Charming's foolishness certainly knew no bounds. _

_Charming's expression seemed to harden then as he gazed down at her with puzzlement. _

_"Besides, you should be the one swimming." It was Snow's turn to stare at him questioningly. What was he blabbering on about now? _

_"And why would I do that?" The dream faded before Charming could give her an answer. _

…_._

Something was roaring. At first she thought it was thunder—perhaps a nasty storm was coming—except the rumble did not stop. It was a pressurized roar that drummed in her ears endlessly.

Prying open her eyes from sleep, Snow slid out of her bed and traveled down the hall, searching for the source of the noise. The roar increased in volume, mixed with…splashing? _Is Rumpelstiltskin building his own indoor lake? I've never even heard of such a thing. _

Snow turned the corner to enter the main hall. And she was suddenly wide awake, shocked to full alertness by the sight in front of her. _What the…?_

There was water _everywhere. _And not just covering the floor, either. The water was filling the entire hall, the level rising until it reached the windows and even submerged the table. Now, it was spilling over the bottom half of the steps, close to where Snow stood paralyzed. _An indoor lake, indeed. _

The brooms and mops ignored the swirling waters, their handles often poking above the water as they continued their work underwater. _Oh, gods…are they multiplying? And the buckets…When I said clean the hall from floor to ceiling, this is not what I meant! _

Jiminy floated by, using his jar as a boat to row away from the creepy puppets that kept bobbing towards him. He met her eyes as the current swept him away from the stairs.

"This is not good, Snow! Not good at all! Oh, Rumpelstiltskin is not going to like this! Back, puppets!"

Snow snapped out of her reverie and began to shout angrily at the brooms. How was she ever going to get this place cleaned up before Rumpelstiltskin came home and saw the disaster? Surely, he would notice. Of course he would. Charming may be able to miss the rising wall of water in his face, but Rumpelstiltskin would not.

"You! Stop that!" She pointed at the brooms as more buckets materialized, dumping pounds of water from overhead and drenching her wholly. Snow gasped as the icy water hit her skin. "_Enough _with the _water!"_

Her voice was drowned out by the sound of splashing as the mops tried hopelessly to wipe the floor clean. Maybe Rumpelstiltskin should have taught her how to _undo _magic first. Stomping her foot, she imagined the objects lifeless as they should be.

"I said _stop!" _

A solid object connected with her back, sending her flying into the water. Snow fought the current, the icy water chilling her legs. Couldn't the buckets at least have made the water _warm? _

Wiping the soaked strands of hair from her face, she noticed one of the brooms working on the stairs—it must have been what pushed her into the water. _Stupid brooms! The least they could do is show some manners to the lady of the castle! _

And as Snow managed to get a grip on one of the window ledges, her head bobbing just above the rising water, she found herself hoping that her husband had a lot of deals to make that day. Although, she already knew what he would say. _All magic comes with a price. _

….

Rumpelstiltskin materialized directly outside the Dark Castle, a simple trick that was practically second nature to him now. It sure beat walking up the mountain. And it had been a rather tiring day already, listening to countless fools moan and plead with him.

_Every day I think the fools cannot possibly get any more foolish. It's always the same. 'Oh, my wife can't have children! Please find us one so our little kingdom won't be doomed!' 'Oh, I want revenge but I'm not as brilliant as to come up with a plan on own!' 'Oh, I'm dying!' Help, help, help!_

Rumpelstiltskin giggled to himself as he mimicked their voices in his mind. They were always good for a laugh afterwards.

A sudden roar interrupted his train of thought and he frowned thoughtfully at the entrance to his castle. The doors were nearly bursting from the walls and water dribbled through the cracks. He sighed.

_I leave her alone for a few hours and from the sound of it, she's turned the castle into an indoor lake. Whoever even heard of such a thing? That'll be the next thing those fools will ask for. An indoor lake. _

Carefully, Rumpelstiltskin side-stepped to the right until he was no longer standing in the path of the doors. Flicking his fingers, the doors burst open and a flood of water poured from the castle. It rushed past him and Rumpelstiltskin watched it with amazement.

The water slowed to a stop as it emptied from his castle, leaving behind a thin layer of water on the floor of the main hall. Jiminy was sputtering next to the jar that Rumpelstiltskin had used to trap him. At least he was alive—Rumpelstiltskin wasn't quite sure how one revived a cricket from drowning.

And there, lying on the ground and coughing up water, was Snow. She glanced up at him expectantly and he gestured to the river that used to be the main hall.

"Dearie, when I told you I wanted you to clean the hall…that's not what I meant."

….

_**Sorcerer's Apprentice, anyone? I did notice Mickey's wizard hat in Rumpel's castle and that story is actually where I got the inspiration for this chapter. **_

_**As always, I must thank my reviewers. You guys keep me happy! (-; Thank you DaesGatling, Lyn Harkeran, foxfireOUAT, The Sky Pirate Girl, and thedoctorsgirl42 for all your support!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Hello there, everyone. Here's another chapter for you—hope you enjoy it. I also want to thank everyone for the reviews—they always mean so much when I read such kind words. A surprise character makes an appearance in this chapter as well; a minor one, but familiar nonetheless. **_

_**Chapter Nine**_

Charming opened his eyes to see they were standing in the midst of the Enchanted Forest. At least, he was sure it was the Enchanted Forest and not the Infinite Forest. They both looked the same to him.

The Blue Fairy hovered before them, flapping her puny wings. The dwarfs looked tired and homesick. Charming didn't know what they were complaining about—why would anyone want to work all day in a mine?

"Where are we?" Charming glanced around, but the trees were no help. The dwarfs seemed just as confused as he was. Except for Dopey. That dazed, dull look on his face was how he always looked.

"I'm afraid you're on the other side of the Enchanted Forest from where the Dark Castle lies," the Blue Fairy regretfully informed them. Charming sighed. More walking, but at least his toe wasn't hurt anymore.

"If you possess magic, then why can't you just…poof us to the castle?" Too late Charming realized it was a very bad question to ask. The Blue Fairy pinched her little lips and her eyebrows knitted together in utmost annoyance. For a fairy, she sure wasn't very pleasant.

"First, Charming, I do not go _poof. _What am I, a genie?" The Blue Fairy zoomed in on Charming so that she was staring straight into his eyes. Or, at least one of his eyes. "Second, all magic comes with a price. I suppose Rumpelstiltskin is right about some things, even if he immorally abuses his magic. However, I am not paying the price when you have two suitable, working legs."

Charming almost wished his toe was broken again. Maybe then the Blue Fairy would poof them a horse.

The Blue Fairy sped off into the sky after weakly wishing them luck on their journey. _That little fairy sure knows how to hold a grudge, _Charming thought as the ball of blue disappeared. It was going to be a long walk. Again. But it was for Snow and that's all Charming needed to get moving.

"So, does anyone know any good traveling games?"

...

Snow awoke with the dawn to find a tray of breakfast waiting for her on the bedside table. The waft of the delicious food beckoned her forward until she was practically salivating.

Warm baked bread that was satisfyingly buttery, Rumpelstiltskin's specialty stew that never seemed to fill you up until you licked the bowl clean, a fresh vine of grapes and other fruit that tempted her taste buds—except apples. Rumpelstiltskin seemed to have a problem with apples.

Among all of it was a deep red rose in a vase, its leaves glistening with dew. The drops picked up the streams of sunlight and almost sparkled on the leaves. Somehow she just knew-it was the rose she'd burned to a crisp. Restored magically, it was more beautiful than it originally had been.

"What do you think?"

She glanced up to meet Rumpelstiltskin's gleeful eyes as he leaned just beyond the threshold. Snow took an eager bite of the bread and fought to hide how much she wanted to swoon from it. No need for Rumpelstiltskin to see just how much control he could reign over her.

"I think you may be growing soft in your old age, Rumpelstiltskin. What is this for? I know you couldn't have done this out of the kindness of your heart." Rumpelstiltskin pushed off the wall and entered the room. He was already impressive in his leather attire. He stalked before the foot of the bed, his eyes never leaving her.

"Think of it as a late wedding celebration. Or perhaps it's bribery," he admitted, pausing to flash his sly grin at her. Snow was already half-finished with the food. If only her husband prepared her breakfast in bed every day. Maybe on the days when he was feeling particularly attuned to her.

"Bribery?" Rumpelstiltskin held up a single finger, commanding her to listen. And this imp so often got what he wanted.

"To ensure you never feel the urge to drown the main hall again," he finished, though he did not sound displeased with her. More like the spectacle amused him to no end.

"I suppose I'll have to resort to handwork, then," she mumbled as she dropped the rest of the grapes into her mouth, the juice rushing along her tongue. Rumpelstiltskin gave a quick shake of the head.

"Afraid not, dearie. I have another surprise waiting downstairs. Join me when you're done with the first one," he instructed as he strode toward the door.

"I hate surprises," Snow muttered to his back. Rumpelstiltskin paused on the threshold. She could nearly feel his smile from here, penetrating as it was. What ever did he have to be so gleeful about? She never understood it. Maybe it was all that leather.

"Oh, trust me. You'll enjoy this one. Just wait and…_see." _

…

Snow descended the stairs into the main hall, not knowing what to expect from Rumpelstiltskin this time. A surprise from him could mean anything from a man-eating piranha to a dinner plate of explosives.

The main hall was spotless, thanks to Rumpelstiltskin's quick magic. With a snap of his fingers, the hall was empty of water. You would never have suspected that their castle had an indoor lake.

What made Snow ultimately halt on the second-to-last stair was the sight of the woman standing near the table, wrapped in a cloak. She could hardly see her face under there, but women could simply sense the threat of another female like an angry cat.

Still, she forced a smile and wondered how much this woman was paying Rumpelstiltskin for his…services.

"Darling, you're not replacing me already, are you?" Rumpelstiltskin's lips curved in amusement and he rocked on his heels.

"Jealous, Snow?" She frowned. The woman snickered and pretended to cough to hide it. Rumpelstiltskin gestured to the mysterious woman with a flick of his wrist. "Meet our new maid."

Snow's eyes instantly locked on the huddled, cloaked figure in alarm. Carefully, she stepped down from the stair on which she stood. Otherwise, she might have stumbled off it.

"Maid? What do we need a maid for?" Rumpelstiltskin stared at her as if the answer were completely obvious. Though, now that she thought about it, it was. He was ensuring that mistakes never happened in his castle.

"After your…swimming lesson yesterday, I've decided it'd be best if you avoid the housework completely. You won't have to lift a finger." Snow pursed her lips as Rumpelstiltskin circled the maid like a vulture. Maybe if she was lucky, he'd eat her alive. "A little while back, she owed me a favor. It is time she paid it."

Snow raised an eyebrow curiously, latching onto the most crucial piece of information he'd offered. Rumpelstiltskin had done something for this woman and she knew well that his power always came with a price. So, what was worth acting as his servant for possibly eternity?

"And what exactly did you give her?" The woman gripped the edges of her cloak almost eagerly, as if she were dying to cast it away. What was underneath there? A siren? Rumpelstiltskin peered at Snow over the maid's shoulder, his skin appearing more golden in the streams of sunlight.

"What, you don't think anyone would jump at the chance to serve me?" Snow's skeptical silence was answer enough. Sighing, Rumpelstiltskin tapped the maid on the shoulder. "Off with the cloak, dearie."

Snow unknowingly held her breath as the time came for the maid to reveal herself. The maid slowly peeled back the folds of the cloak and let it slip off her shoulders. She stretched out her arms as if her skin was soaking up the air. Snow's eyes widened.

This woman was nothing short of stunning. Golden tendrils of hair spiraled around her neck, flowing over skin as white as moonlight. Thin, curvy, and she obviously knew it. And the size of that chest…forget it. Snow was surprised she didn't poke an eye out with one of those.

In her dismay, Rumpelstiltskin voiced the disturbing realization that made Snow's skin itch horribly.

"For a favor, I returned her beauty. According to her, two little children tossed her in an oven to bake like an oversized turkey." Rumpelstiltskin released one of his shrill giggles. He clearly found that quite pleasing. "I would've hired them, but they were rather lost. Much too fun watching them run in circles like Charming."

Snow glared at the maid. She already detested her.

"Perfect," she muttered, striding over to pick up the discarded cloak. It was a nice one, too. The maid wouldn't miss it.

"Not quite," Rumpelstiltskin objected. Snow glanced back at the maid. Did she have a back full of hair? Was she wearing a wig and was actually bald?

It was then the maid opened her eyes for the first time. Snow couldn't help but stare. Those eyes were a flat, milky blue and the maid never seemed to be able to make eye contact with her. No wonder.

The maid was blind. A blind maid, of all surprises.

"So, you restored her beauty but neglected to fix her sight? How thoughtful of you." The maid perked up and spun wildly in the direction of Rumpelstiltskin. Her hands waved madly in front of her until she nearly slapped him in the face.

"Ooh, you can do that?" Rumpelstiltskin took a step out of her range and rubbed his face where her nails had grazed him. He made a show of considering it, though of course the maid could not appreciate his theatrics.

"I could do that," he admitted humbly. The maid started to smile, probably fantasizing all the things she could do with her newfound eyesight. Snow rolled her own perfectly working eyes. "But I won't," Rumpelstiltskin quickly dashed her hopes. The maid whimpered.

Stepping around their new maid, Rumpelstiltskin grinned maliciously at Snow. There was a troublesome gleam in his eyes.

"The last incompetent maid I hired was a mute. Quite the artist, though," Rumpelstiltskin told her, his face growing eased as he reminisced about something that probably happened long before she was even born. She wondered if that maid had been pretty, too.

"What happened to her?" Snow's mind offered up suggestions that included shoving the girl in a lake and turning her into a slug. Maybe that was why there was so much salt in the house. Her husband simply shrugged, casting off the memory.

"I…fired her. She spelled my name wrong. How rude is that?" Rumpelstiltskin shook his head pitifully. Something told her he wasn't really sorry for the loss of the maid. "I figured I'd try a blind maid this time. Should be interesting."

The maid smoothed her hands along the clothing of her stomach until she finally settled her hands on her hips. It seemed like the girl could not stop touching herself. It was disturbing.

"And you're going to trust her near a fire? Because it worked so well the first time," Snow sarcastically pointed out. The maid spun and pointed every which way, trying to locate Snow. Her pink lips were pulled in a pout.

"That wasn't my fault! You weren't there! Those kids were naughty. They shoved me right in that oven and didn't even care! Oh, they could have been so good," the maid screeched, licking her lips hungrily. Snow stared at her as if she had sprouted three heads. _This woman…eats…children? Not even the Queen was that senile. Though, I would've given her a couple more months. _

Rumpelstiltskin stiffened visibly. Snow realized he was uncomfortable with this turn of events. She suspected that the powerful dealmaker had a rather soft spot for children. Not in the sense of the maid, either.

"Cecilia, be a dear and clean up the kitchen," Rumpelstiltskin demanded in a firm tone that would not take 'no' for an answer. The maid—Cecilia, apparently—inclined her head and swept past Snow. On her way past, she tripped over a chair and almost sprawled on her pretty face.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," Cecilia remarked in a breathy voice. Snow watched her go and made sure that she was really gone before glancing back at Rumpelstiltskin expectantly. He clearly wanted the maid out of the room.

"You should be grateful to her. She's the one responsible for your lovely breakfast, anyway." This was news to Snow. Her stomach curled. No wonder she found a piece of hair in her stew—she was just about to recommend a hairnet for her husband.

_"She_ made my breakfast? Not you?" Snow gaped at the door where Cecilia had just disappeared. Rumpelstiltskin wiggled his fingers.

"And risk cutting off these babies? It's not worth it. Just wait until you taste her crème pie. It's to die for," he told her, stroking a hand across his stomach. Snow crossed her arms unhappily. "Oh, now Snow. I still like you better." He reached out to lift her chin and force her to look at him.

"Oh, really? Prove it," she challenged him. Secretly, she was anticipating it.

With a devious smirk, Rumpelstiltskin hooked an arm around her waist and crashed his lips against hers. Despite herself, Snow jumped into the little game, kissing him back. Rumpelstiltskin dipped his body and abruptly hoisted her onto the table. Their kiss never broke, even as she laid back on the table with Rumpelstiltskin hovering inches over her.

A ruckus of screeching and the cry of a chicken came from the kitchen, disrupting them. In a moment, the blind maid was bursting through the kitchen door and into the main hall again. Feathers covered her dress.

"The chicken escaped," the maid announced, oblivious to her feathery attire. Rumpelstiltskin reluctantly broke off their kiss and gazed up at her in sheer annoyance. Snow smiled. _I'll bet he's regretting hiring her now, isn't he? It's very rude interrupting our morning exercises. Maybe he should sew her lips shut, just in case._

"So chase it," he ordered with finality. The blind maid huffed, but knew better than to argue with the one who could make her beauty vanish with a snap of his fingers. Snow didn't see why it mattered. _It's not as if she can see her reflection. _

The blind maid hurried back into the kitchen. Snow witnessed a flapping of wings and the maid flying forward before the kitchen door closed. If it weren't for these morning exercises, she'd have followed the maid. It would be outrageously funny to have a blind maid running after a chicken.

Rumpelstiltskin smiled knowingly down at her.

"Now aren't you glad she's blind?"

….

_**Once again, I would like to thank DaesGatling, foxfireOUAT, The Sky Pirate Girl, thedoctorsgirl42, and Lyn Harkeran for the reviews. **_

_**A blind maid or a mute maid…which would you prefer? **_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter Ten**_

"How about this one? I spy with my little eye…something green," Charming enthusiastically rambled.

As they trekked through endless forest, swiping leaves out of their faces for what felt like hours, Charming had tried to engage them in a silly guessing game. Problem was, in the vast unchanging forest, there was little to see.

"Tree," Sleepy guessed in the middle of a yawn. Grumpy wondered if the yawn was purely habitual or if Sleepy was actually bored of listening to Charming. He'd vote on the latter. In any case, Sleepy had guessed right.

"Okay. I spy with my little eye…something short…"

"Us," Grumpy groaned. Why couldn't the Blue Fairy have done them a favor and zapped a muzzle on Charming? Surely there'd be no price for that. He made a mental note to ask that next time the blue jellyfish was floating by.

The group broke through the trees and came face to face with a solid gray slab of rock. Mountains stretched high into the sky, the peaks illuminated by the blinding sun. The dwarfs stared at it in distress.

"Well, looks like there is only one way up from here," Doc observed, fixing his half-moon spectacles on his nose. A few of them glanced back at the forest, as if debating whether to turn around.

"We're in the wrong part of the forest," Grumpy declared, scanning the countless trees behind them. This wasn't even the right mountain—it was just _a_ mountain.

He rubbed his jaw, thinking hard about what to do. Climbing this mountain could be an easy waste of energy. And what if their destination was really on the other side of this forest? It was futile.

"I'm…hungry," Bashful announced timidly, digging his foot into the brown earth. A couple of the dwarfs nodded in agreement—their stomachs were rumbling like thunder. _Man, I could really go for some of Snow's cooking right about now, _Grumpy thought. _I bet that imp's enjoying his dinner. _

"We're all hungry," Doc pointed out flatly. "If we could just figure out which direction to head…" He trailed off, clearly as clueless as the rest of them. At this rate, they'd be walking in circles until they dropped of exhaustion or starvation.

It was then that Charming tore his eyes from the depressingly tall mountainside.

"Why don't we climb a little ways? If we climb high enough, perhaps we could get a better view of the forest," he suggested. Grumpy narrowed his eyes as he prepared to chew Charming out for offering a silly thought from his mind.

"That idea is…is…not bad," Grumpy admitted, scratching his head. It was better than anything else they could come up with. Maybe—and Grumpy couldn't believe he was thinking it—Charming was right. If they managed to reach higher ground, they could get some idea as to which direction to follow.

Climbing a mountain couldn't be that much of a challenge, could it? The dwarfs mined for a living, using plenty of body strength each day. Climbing would be a piece of cake.

Still, the darkening skies above posed a new problem.

"Alright," Grumpy sighed, pacing before his fellow dwarfs. Six pairs of eyes anticipated his words. He didn't know exactly when he became accepted as a leader for them, but he supposed it came from the fact that out of the seven dwarfs, he seemed to care for Snow the most.

"Here's the plan. It's getting dark and we're all hungry. Tonight we build a fire and gather food. Tomorrow we climb the mountain. Understand?" The dwarfs smiled and nodded at Grumpy's bravado—all except Sleepy who was…well…falling asleep.

Grumpy's eyes swiveled to Charming, just in case the prince had any objections.

"Agreed," Charming said, dipping his head respectfully. Grumpy turned away from the mountain and grumbled. He just hoped no wolves or beasts were hunting tonight. _I wonder how Charming feels about being demoted to night watchman. _

* * *

Snow hated the blind maid. To be fair, it started out as simple dislike.

She disliked the fact that the maid—or, _Cecilia_ as her nasally voice often reminded her_—_had been caught more than once in Snow's bedchambers, rubbing her grubby hands all over a dress that Rumpelstiltskin doubtlessly and magically fashioned for her. She disliked how the maid's room was located just down the hall from her own—though, she supposed it was fortunate the maid could _hear_. If anything, it allowed for some petty revenge.

Not only that, she disliked the crawling sensation of the maid's milky eyes on her back when she roamed about the castle. Struck with blindness, she was probably desperate to see. Snow noticed that Cecilia's nose would scrunch up and twitch. It was then Snow realized the crazy witch preferred to sniff her out.

The touching, the sniffing, the over-eager eccentricities…it was creepy.

At first it was simple dislike. Her resentment transpired to hate during the first dinner after the maid's arrival.

"I was almost afraid we'd be having this dinner underwater," Rumpelstiltskin not-too-subtly referred to her recent swimming lesson. He was probably shocked that she didn't invite any mermaids around, not that she'd ever seen one. Evasive conceited creatures, mermaids.

Snow had taken her seat opposite him and pursed her lips to show she wasn't the least bit amused.

"It took you all of two minutes to return the hall to the way it was. Hardly a disaster," she reminded him testily. As Rumpelstiltskin tented his fingers under his chin to observe her, she waved her hand and her napkin laid itself on her lap. _There we are. Not exactly a waterfall, but at least it's something, _she thought with a smile.

Snow had been practicing her magic every couple of hours in an attempt to control the power that had surged inside her. By now, she could easily do small tasks—setting out a napkin, extinguishing a flame, blowing the hair back from her face. Secretly, she envied the extent of Rumpelstiltskin's power, but wore a smile as she gazed at him from across the table.

"Lucky for us it will never happen again. Right, Cecilia?"

On cue, the sickly attractive maid bustled into the hall to set their food on the table. Curls of steam rose into the air and Snow could smell it—the food was tantalizing. _How does she even know how to cook blind? She should do us all a favor and burn her bosom off. _

The maid had caught the chicken, believe it or not. It had only taken her an hour.

Snow had wandered in, bored once her husband returned to spinning, and pretended to help by directing the blind maid in the direction of the squawking chicken. Sort of.

She'd had to stifle her giggles with the maid running mad in the opposite direction more often than not. _Oh, no, it went that way. No, wait, it just ducked that way! Oh, look—it hopped into the fire! Chase it, chase it!_

All in good fun.

"Your dinner," the maid announced, setting Snow's plate in front of her. Snow had to bite her tongue against the quake of laughter from her daydream as she met the questioning eyes of Rumpelstiltskin. She supposed if she explained it to him, the two could bask in amusement.

Snow glanced down at the plate—a wealthy amount of chicken, a helping of potatoes, and a bowl of stew. She doubted it would be as satisfying as Rumpelstiltskin's recipe. Cecilia's stew from breakfast in bed had come back to haunt her after an hour. _I wonder if Jiminy would like some stew. _

"Gravy or butter?" The maid chirped, weaving her hands together almost eagerly. Snow glanced up at those milky blue eyes and grimaced.

"Butter," she answered with a little more sharpness than she intended. Oh, well. The maid's hands dropped listlessly to her sides and a frown pinched her pink lips. That look was almost…disapproving.

"I'd have preferred gravy," she muttered coolly, making Snow want to grab up the bowl of gravy and pour it all over the atrocious witch. How _dare _that pathetic maid argue with her! _I've been meaning to use a test subject for my magic. Maybe I'll turn her into a toad. _

"As do I," Rumpelstiltskin declared loudly, eyeing his food as if it were a feast fit for King Midas. Snow's head whipped around to shoot him an astounded look. He was seriously taking the maid's side?

But her defiant expression deflated when she realized Rumpelstiltskin never even caught it. Suddenly, his attention was not lingering on her; every ounce of it was focused on Cecilia as she flounced her way up the hall, on her way back to the kitchen. And he was _smiling_.

As the maid passed Rumpelstiltskin, her hip brushed the table and sent a napkin fluttering to the floor. Snow sat frozen in her seat as the maid spun with her mouth formed in a tight 'O' and her hands pressed to her chest.

"Oh! My mistake," she breathed throatily, bending forward to retrieve it. Snow stiffened as Cecilia leisurely bent at the waist before Rumpelstiltskin, her bosom practically exposed. She might as well have been a tavern girl, the way she acted.

And Rumpelstiltskin was actually _looking. _His eyes devoured the maid like an object for sale that he was considering purchasing. It was…it was appalling! _What is going on here? _

"Thank you, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin all too readily obliged as Cecilia placed the napkin on the table again. Cecilia floated past him and Snow noticed the dealmaker's eyes watching the maid's retreating back until she finally disappeared from view.

Snow's hands curled around her own napkin until she heard the tell-tale tear of cloth.

"Oh, yes. I much prefer our blind maid over that mute," Rumpelstiltskin said, finally shifting in his seat to gaze over at her. Snow thrust the tattered napkin over her untouched food, her teeth clenching behind her lips.

"May I be excused?" Snow didn't wait for his answer. Shoving back her chair, she got to her feet and headed for the stairs, cursing that despicable witch the entire way to her bedchambers.

That miserable wench. Why couldn't Rumpelstiltskin have let her burn?

As she slammed her bedroom door—so much more satisfying without magic—there was no doubt in her mind. She needed to get rid of the maid.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Hello, readers! Here is a pretty lengthy chapter for you before I (*le gasp*) take a bit of a hiatus for a week or so. I know, it's sad. **_

_**Speaking of sadness, it is with extremely great sadness that I mention the passing of a dedicated Oncer and a supporter of this story: FoxfireOUAT. I have just recently learned of this news and, in her honor, I am dedicating this chapter to her. RIP Foxfire—my heart goes out to you. **_

_**Chapter Eleven**_

A bloodcurdling scream jostled Charming out of his sleep. He had been dreaming about Snow again and had just been about to kiss her. Who knew? They could have been happily married, if only in his dreams.

Rolling over onto his knees, he realized it was early in the morning. The sky was still an inky blue, the sun's rays not quite rising yet. _I don't remember asking for a wake-up call, _he inwardly moaned.

The other six dwarfs were already hurrying along the path out of sight, following the sound of the shrill screaming. Jumping to his feet, he scrambled for a lean branch and hurried down the path to a clearing.

He didn't know what he expected—a hungry troll, a fire-breathing dragon, Rumpelstiltskin showing off his gold leather pants—but this wasn't quite it. _What the…?_

"A guy can't even pick berries in this forest without something trying to eat him!" Grumpy was shrieking and scurrying up a tree. Charming's eyes rose in surprise; he never even knew dwarfs could climb trees. Grumpy was doing a pretty good job.

Below him was a larger-than-life wolf, though its perked ears made it seem more amused than threatening. The other six dwarfs surrounded it with their pick-axes, trying to rescue Grumpy.

"This wolf's trying to hurt our brother," Doc exclaimed, hoisting his axe over his shoulder. "What do you say, boys? All for one and one for all!" Grumpy was still screaming as the dwarfs descended on the wolf. The black fur bristled and its sharp teeth were bared.

_Hey, wait a minute, _Charming thought as the deep, almost human golden-brown eyes met his. They pleaded with him. It struck him with an unspeakable wave of familiarity. And then it hit him. _I know that wolf. _

"Stop," he ordered the dwarfs. He leaped in between them and the wolf, spreading his arms wide to shield the wolf from their view. The dwarfs looked at him like he was mad. "She's a friend."

"She?" Doc arched an eyebrow and peered at the wolf under Charming's arm. Grumpy gripped a branch of the tree and pointed incredulously at the thing that apparently just tried to eat him for breakfast.

"You're…you're friends…with that thing?" Grumpy gasped from his spot in the tree. The wolf bared its fangs again and growled. She didn't like that comment.

"Easy, Red," Charming cautioned her over his shoulder. The wolf rested back on its haunches, the lips around the jagged white jaws softening. With a tiny whine, the wolf turned tail and trotted off behind a clump of thick bushes, just as orange streaks splintered the sky.

"Phew, it's gone. That was close," Grumpy sighed with relief as he dropped from the tree. He landed clumsily on his butt and moaned. The bushes rustled and the dwarf's face blanched. He was up like a shot. "It's coming back!" Grumpy backed up against the tree trunk.

Before he could get a chance to climb the tree again, a figure stepped into view from behind the bushes. It wasn't a fearsome, black wolf like they had been expecting. This time, it was a young girl with silky black hair that matched the wolf's coat and a velvet red cloak draped around her shoulders.

"You have no idea how awkward it is changing from wolf to human. Especially with that tail. It just…disappears," she said casually, as if they were all friends enjoying a drink in a tavern.

Charming nodded to her and dropped the branch that had still been tucked in his fist. The girl returned his smile and approached his side, ignoring the seven pairs of boggled eyes.

"Uh, everyone….this is Red. She's a werewolf," Charming explained sheepishly. Gesturing to the dwarfs, he introduced her. "Red, this is Grumpy, Doc, Sleepy, Sneezy, Happy, Dopey, and Bashful." Red tried to follow his finger as he rattled them off, but ended up staring blankly at them.

"Have you ever considered wearing name tags?"

Some of the dwarfs studied her with curiosity, but most took a few careful steps back, just in case. Red held up her hands to calm them.

"It's okay. I don't bite…as long as I'm wearing this red cloak. It's enchanted to keep me from transforming," she reassured them with a thin smile. Grumpy scowled, particularly at the word _enchanted. _

"Gee, I wonder which magical being you got that from. Bet it wasn't a fairy," he grumbled. Red's expression became dour, her brow furrowed as she fastened the cloak tighter around her body.

"I wouldn't know. My Granny gave this to me when I was thirteen," she replied. Red smoothed her hands almost lovingly over the velvet. Charming wondered if the magic had a risk of running out or if it would last her lifetime. "In any case, I don't make deals with magical beings."

The dwarfs stood still, allowing her words to sink in. A few nodded as they surveyed her, unable to keep the fascination off their faces. Grumpy was the first to crack a genuine smile.

"I like her," he announced, making Red blush with content.

"Oh," she exclaimed, suddenly remembering something from the back of her mind. She whirled urgently to Charming, who stared down at her with growing alarm. "Did you find Snow?"

The dwarfs started at the mention of Snow's name. Any friend of Snow's was doubtlessly a friend of theirs. Charming, however, hesitated for a minute while trying to decide the best way to relay the news to her. Red was one of Snow's good friends and quite loyal to her.

"Yes," he admitted slowly. Red grinned and her muscles relaxed—apparently, she had been expecting worse news. It made Charming feel sorry for her. _Just wait, Red. It gets better. _

"Good. I was beginning to worry. So, then everything is okay," Red sighed happily, her hands clasped over her heart. Charming ran a hand through his blonde hair. He knew he was stalling.

"No…not quite," he negated. Red's happiness crumbled and her face creased with intense worry lines. Mixed with misunderstanding, Red looked like she might take after Granny and exhibit a heart attack. Even her skin was losing its tan shade.

"But, you just said—" Charming gripped her shoulders and frowned.

"She's married," he gently cut her off. The dwarfs averted their gazes from Red. The memory of encountering dark Snow in the midst of her wedding was still fresh in their minds. And every day their hope was waning.

Red's head sunk forward in disbelief as if it weighed a ton, her lips drooped as the notion weighed heavily on her shoulders. And then she did the unexpected: she punched Charming on the chest. He was knocked back a few feet from the blow.

"What? You two got married and you didn't invite me? I could have been the maid of honor! Oh, gods…I had a chance to catch the bouquet!" Red cried out in exasperation, kicking a rock. It went soaring across the orange sky.

"You're not doing a good job tellin' the story, Charming," Grumpy complained. He pushed through the group until he was standing directly in front of Red and took over before Charming could protest. "Snow's married to Rumpelstiltskin and living in his castle. We're off to rescue her."

Red never left it up to a moment's hesitation.

"I'm coming with you," she automatically declared, tucking her hood up around her face. All she needed now was a woven basket of delicious lunch and she could skip off to Grandmother's house. Charming disliked himself for it, but he figured she'd be better off doing just that.

"No. I'm not letting anyone else get involved. Not with him," Charming argued. Red crossed her arms and met him almost nose to nose in defiance.

"Why do you always have to be so foolishly chivalrous? Don't get me wrong—it's really sweet. It just never works out well for you," she told him. "I am Snow's friend and I am fighting for her. She would do the same for me. Plus, for all he knows, I could be your secret weapon."

Red's fingers danced across the red velvet of her cloak again as a tell-tale hint. Their own secret weapon. Something in him budged. Deep down, he knew Red wouldn't be taking no for an answer.

"All in favor of Red staying?" The dwarfs were putting it to a vote. Grumpy raised his hand first to start, though he mumbled a warning that "Red had better keep her cloak on." Six short arms followed suit. Even Red raised her own hand, voting for herself for good measure.

The vote was obvious and Charming shook his head in defeat. Red lowered her hand and grinned rather wolfishly at him.

"Majority rules." Red was in.

….

Snow settled back against the pillow and smiled with well-deserved satisfaction as her husband tried to catch his breath. Not one of them had slept an ounce during the night, courtesy of Snow. His hand came to rest on her thigh and he patted it approvingly.

"My gods, woman. If only you could be that enthusiastic all the time. The two of us could have some fun," he moaned into her ear and kissed the lobe. She circled her arms around his neck to bring him down to her.

"I figured I should start taking my role as a wife more seriously. In all aspects," she replied before capturing his lips again. She could feel the stretch of his smile as she kissed him and he took his turn trailing his lips along her throat. "Darling, I've been thinking."

"Mm?" He mumbled against the beat of her pulse in the hollow of her throat. Her fingers ran through his hair and she was struggling to keep focused. _Thinking…thinking…oh, yes. How could I forget? _

"I've improved with my magic lately. Maybe…maybe we no longer require the maid?"

Inside, she knew she hadn't improved _that much, _but it was the only shot she had to reason with him besides flat-out ordering him to fire her. And he was much too proud about his control to listen to that.

Rumpelstiltskin lifted his head to gaze down at her curiously. His lanky hair hung down and she brushed it away with her fingers. He flinched slightly—she guessed not many people were fond of even shaking hands with him.

"I happen to like our maid. She cleans the castle while you and I perform our other necessary duties," he murmured seductively as his lips hovered close to hers. "Without her, you'd have to clean the castle and that would limit our precious time."

"But—" Rumpelstiltskin held up a hand to silence her.

"The maid stays, dearie," he said with sharp finality. Snow bristled, opening her mouth to object when a knock at their door interrupted. Rumpelstiltskin visibly perked up, sliding to the edge of the bed. "Speak of the maid and she shall come."

With a flick of his wrist, he clothed himself and approached the door to allow Cecilia in. She was carrying a tray full of breakfast, to which Snow scrunched her nose. Cecilia set the tray on the vanity table, the contents doubled in the mirror. Rumpelstiltskin had undraped the mirrors since the Queen's death, though his eyes still avoided his reflection often. Cecilia had no qualms with it, even primping her blonde hair.

As Cecilia strode past the bed to spread the curtains, Snow instinctively tucked the sheet up around her shoulders to cover her body even though the maid was blind. That eerie sensation that the maid _knew_ made her skin crawl.

Rumpelstiltskin merely chuckled as he lounged against the doorframe, watching both of them with tented fingers.

Cecilia seemed to bask in the warmth of the sun for a moment before spinning on her heel to leave. She paused at the foot of the bed to glance in Snow's direction, which only earned her a glare. Those milky eyes roamed invasively over Snow's skin and…was that a hint of a smirk?

All too quickly, as Snow recovered from Cecilia's stare, the maid had crossed the room to stand in front of Rumpelstiltskin. Rumpelstiltskin, her master first and foremost.

Snow angrily blew a wisp of dark hair from her face. _Yes, and what else? Is he…would he…did they…?_

Snow released the silky sheet as disturbing images invaded her mind. Images of Rumpelstiltskin closing the bedroom door magically, only to accept Cecilia into his arms instead of Snow. Embracing the maid, repeating with her what he had done with Snow this morning.

Oh, God, it made her sick to her stomach. It fueled the black flames licking at her heart.

"Will that be all, sir?" Rumpelstiltskin's amber eyes flickered to Snow and she watched a slow grin slither across his lips. Lips that she had kissed only moments ago.

"For now," he agreed ominously. A silent message seemed to pass between them, rooting Cecilia to the spot. And then, with a little dip of her blonde head, she was gone and Rumpelstiltskin was closing the door behind her.

Drawing close to the bed, he kneeled over the sheet. The bed sunk with his weight as he leaned toward her and brought a gold-skinned hand up to caress her jaw.

"Now, where were we?"

He made to lean farther down to kiss her, but Snow shoved him back, causing him to stumble off the bed. Pouting, she climbed out of bed, wrapped the sheet around her body, and made a beeline for the food. A small _humph _dogged her heels.

"Who, my dear, poured ice water in your corset?"

Snow could hear the trembling anger in his voice, but she hardly paid it any notice. Examining the tray, she snatched up a piece of bread and bit into it greedily.

"Well, if you must ask that…" Snow retorted through a mouthful of bread. She swallowed only to stuff the rest in her mouth. At least it was warm bread. "You're not the clever dealmaker I thought you were, then."

Rumpelstiltskin's fury increased, thickening across the room. It penetrated her shoulders. Someone once told her the rage of Rumpelstiltskin was quite extraordinary. Legendary, even.

"Here I thought you were taking your wifely duties seriously. Thus far…I am hopelessly disappointed," he jabbed at her and it throbbed a little. Her fingers curled around a goblet of water and she imagined splashing him with it.

Disappointed? That whole night she'd satisfied him and he was disappointed? _Hypocrite, _she cursed in her head. If anyone should be taking their duties seriously, it was him! She had nothing to apologize for!

"Perhaps you should practice what you preach," she hurled at him over her shoulder, raising the goblet to her lips.

In a flash, it was knocked out of her grasp. Rough hands spun her around and his hips collided against hers, trapping her against the vanity table. Breathing heavily, all she could do was place her hands on his chest and gaze into his eyes.

At first, she thought he intended to kiss her. To prove to her, here and now, just how seriously he could take his duties to her. She would be at his mercy and he would leave her gasping just as she did with him earlier.

His lips stopped within inches from her mouth, his face still stony in his ebbing anger. His lips curled back over his less-than-perfect teeth and one of his hands twisted into her black hair.

"I am a man of my word, Snow. I never break my word," he whispered fiercely, his voice unnaturally hitched. His eyes half-closed and his lips drew a little closer.

Abruptly, he released her, leaving her to regain her composure and longing for his kiss. It was his own special punishment.

"There's work to be done in the library," he muttered, mostly to himself. And by work, he meant spinning or whatever else he tended to in there.

Gliding close to her again, his arm snaked behind her for a piece of warm bread. His body was so close that she could smell him—a light earthy smell, slightly ancient as if it had remained in this world a long time. His piercing gaze never left her, even as he bit down into the bread.

And, without another word, he strode from the room and left her to her troubled thoughts. It pained her to realize she was shaking with overexcited nerves.

_I'm going to kill that witch. _

…..

"Care for an apple?"

After a few much needed hours of cooling off—hours that mostly consisted of tearing the petals off flowers and mocking the maid's existence—Snow wandered to the library. There was still a spark of irritation toward him, but the brunt of it had passed.

Glancing up from his methodic spinning, Rumpelstiltskin eyed the shiny red apple distrustfully. Snow smiled innocently.

"It's not poisoned, if that's what you think," she assured him, extending the apple to tempt him. The streams of sunlight bounced off the apple, making it appear all the more fresh and delicious. Regardless, Rumpelstiltskin resumed his spinning.

"Funny. That's what the Queen said while taking her petty revenge for my outstanding leather wardrobe," he quipped, pausing to allow his fingers to smooth over his leather attire. "Are you planning to give it to our maid?"

Snow rolled the apple in her palm and her smile faltered. Why was Cecilia always coming between them?

"Why would I do that?" The wheel slowed again. Rumpelstiltskin's attention latched onto her with an unmistakable air of glee. Whatever he was thinking, it was amusing him to no end.

"Please, Snow. We're all honest people here. Admit it—you're jealous of Cecilia," he bluntly accused her, his tongue rolling lavishly over the name. A lengthy thread of pure gold spooled from the wheel. Snow's nails dug into the sides of the apple until juice dribbled over her fingers.

"I don't know what you mean," she feigned ignorance, though they both knew her mask had more than a few cracks in it.

The stool screeched across the floor and Rumpelstiltskin rose. He stalked toward her, about to crush the last bits of that mask under his feet.

"Is that so? Oh, Snow…you've no idea how well I can read you," he said as he circled her like a hungry vulture. As he came into view, he pointed a finger at her chest. "You've despised her from the minute I hired her. You loathed her, envied her…and why is that, I wonder? Because you were no longer the only woman in my castle," he breathed into her ear, his warm breath tickling her skin.

A small giggle as he rounded her, stepping away. And yet the truth rang through the air.

"Jealousy does not suit you." Snow pressed the apple to her lips and imagined coating it with some curse, some poison to bring Cecilia to her knees and beg for mercy. And at the highest point of her agony, Snow would deny her that.

Just then, Cecilia burst into the room looking rather unhappy. Snow noticed the bottom of her dress was scorched black, the seams splitting raggedly. _Now, that suits her well, _Snow thought with a pleased smile.

"A fire. There's…a fire in the garden. Everything is burning up," Cecilia gasped and erupted into a cough. Snow thought it was more for show and pity. Rumpelstiltskin sent her a questioning look, but she dropped her eyes.

"I'll only be a minute, Snow," he told her. It sounded more like a warning than a simple promise. Off he went with Cecilia, probably planning on using magic to douse the fire.

The moment their footfalls stopped echoing, Snow's eyes wandered to the table of vials and potions in the corner of the room. It was quiet as she drifted to it and began lightly turning the vials for any indication of what each potion might do. Only Rumpelstiltskin knew that.

Wiggling her fingers, Snow plucked one of the colored vials and hoped for the best that she'd chosen a good one. Though, this vial did look like the one she'd used when she had burned that rose to black bits. Hmm…

Checking over her shoulder, she tucked the vial away into the folds of her cloak. She prayed he would not notice its absence.

Feet sounded on the steps and she hurried back over to her original spot. Best not to have him catch her poking around.

"Snow, can you tell me why there was—"

Before he could pose the rest of his question, Snow strode up to him, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. She could tell he was stunned by the unexpected gesture, but soon his body was responding. Reluctantly, he broke away and stroked the strands of her dark hair.

"Was that an apology?" Snow forced the protest down—_why must I apologize?_—and smiled pleasantly.

"That was my half. Where is yours?"

His arm wrapped around her waist to urge her closer and his lips descended over hers, kissing her back hard. Snow actually moaned a bit as he kissed the edge of her mouth, then the skin of her neck.

"Dear, I'm afraid I have spinning to do."

"You have more gold than you could ever spend," she protested, flattening her body against his. So long as he didn't find the vial tucked in her cloak, she would be fine. Rumpelstiltskin buried his fingers in her hair and was tempted to satisfy her wish, but he stepped out of her reach.

"Tonight," he promised. "Though, I fear for your coordination should you lose another night of sleep." Snow licked her lips to savor his kiss and nodded.

"Tonight it is," she agreed, smiling as she brushed past him and descended the library stairs. She could feel his eyes on her the entire way and she did not look back until she was standing directly outside her bedchambers.

Snow's fingers scrambled to find the vial inside her cloak—it was still there. The liquid sloshed inside as she held it up before her. A wicked curve graced her lips. If all went well, then she would not fall into Rumpelstiltskin's bed until late tonight. She would make certain his wait would be worth it.

It was a shame she burned the rest of his roses, though.

…

_**To all my supporters: thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me to read those amazing reviews and to bring enjoyment to the fanfic readers out there. Cheers to you DaesGatling, thedoctorsgirl42, and sundancemc. **_

_**Once again, I dedicate this chapter to FoxfireOUAT. You shall be missed.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Hey there, readers! This would have been up sooner, but I devoted most of the week to my Sunshine story. Still, I hope you like this. Just a little nice (or maybe not so nice) chapter. **_

_**Chapter Twelve**_

Snow swiveled in front of a mirror in her bedchambers, marveling over her reflection. A hunter had to look their best before a kill, didn't they? Her elegant ebony dress embellished her fair skin while a satin cloak draped her shoulders. It was quite drafty in here.

As a last touch, Snow strapped the bow to her back—the enchanted one she had acquired by none other than Rumpelstiltskin. _An arrow fired from this bow will give you exactly what you need. _

Snow admired her fierce reflection, her face lacking any emotion. _I need her death, same as the Queen. _

A malicious curve touched her ruby lips as she dipped her head in approval. Time for the show.

As she glided past the vanity table on the way to the door, her hand snaked out and retrieved the apple sitting there. Blood red and juicy, she was almost tempted to take a bite herself. _Let's not get ahead of ourselves. The game is about to begin, after all. _

Slipping into the hallway, Snow's steps were a mere patter. Before entering the main hall, she made a stop near the stairs leading to the library. She smirked as she heard the old creaking of the wheel as it spun. Good. The less he knew, the better.

Down the marble stairs she swept, and then out into the gardens. As expected, Cecilia was lingering by the newly replenished rose-bushes, fingering them oh-so-lovingly. A basket hung on the crook of her arm, filled with other plants from the garden that the witch used for strange herbs and concoctions.

_Probably working up some kind of lust spell. I have half a mind to burn these bushes again, but Rumpelstiltskin wouldn't be happy about it. _

"Such a nice night for a stroll, isn't it?" The blind maid must have heard her coming. Was it just paranoia or was there a hint of mockery in that bittersweet voice of hers?

"Indeed," Snow replied icily, picking a blooming white rose from the bush._ How delicate and beautiful…and sickeningly sweet, _she thought as her fingers curled around the bud of the rose, crushing its petals. "You must be parched from a hard day's work in the kitchen. Care for an apple?"

Snow extended the apple to Cecilia, putting on a pleasant smile even though the maid could not see her. Cecilia paused and slowly turned in the direction of Snow, her nose twitching. God, that was annoying.

"I much prefer…other specialties," she hissed. _Other specialties…like children? _Snow stepped closer, the apple insistently held out.

"It's from my husband. You wouldn't want to reject something from _him_, would you?" Snow felt bile rise in her throat as she spat the words out. "Here, it even smells delicious." Snow waved the apple beneath Cecilia's twitching nose. Despite her lack of sight, the maid's eyes widened and her hand reached blindly out to graze the apple. _Tempting, isn't it? Why resist? _

The apple seemed to be calling out to the maid, urging her hand to clamp around the fruit and lift it to her lips. Snow watched intently as Cecilia inhaled deeply and then jerked her head forward to take a generous bite of the apple. _That's it. Let the game begin. _

Bliss washed over the maid's face as she chewed and swallowed. Another bite, her nails digging into the skin of the apple as if it were gold. Snow waited patiently, thinking of the contents of the vial she had stolen and poured over the apple. She really didn't know what it would do to the maid—turn her into a bug? Give her acne?—but her instincts told her it would be good.

The maid opened her mouth for another bite…and then she began to scream.

It was raw and agonized, a deep scream dredging up from somewhere deep inside Cecilia. The whole Forest could probably hear her. The apple rolled from her grasp, disappearing into the bushes.

Snow widened her eyes in shock—she hadn't been expecting that. _Holy chickens…I never thought the apple would taste that bad. What was Rumpelstiltskin hoping to use that for? Charming? _

Those milky eyes rolled wildly in their sockets. Cecilia's fingernails tore at the front of her dress, crawling across her skin in pure desperation. Red scratches dug into her skin as her nails scrabbled about. It was as though she were trying to rip her flesh open and release the pain that was building inside.

"Oh…Oh, gods…it _burns!_ I'm burning!" Whatever the bottled potion did, it was certainly torturing Cecilia from the inside out. How fascinating.

If Snow threw a bucket of water on her head, would she melt? Hmm…she hadn't done any good deeds today. Maybe she could lend a helping hand to Cecilia. It would only be the proper thing to do.

Snow smiled wickedly and fixed an arrow to her bow. Just one shot; that was all that she needed. The arrow wouldn't miss. Snow pulled her elbow back, narrowing her eyes, aiming straight for Cecilia's black heart…

Cecilia spun toward Snow—she must have heard the way the bowstring tightened as Snow prepared to strike her. Splaying her fingers, magic invaded the air around them and Snow's cloak burst into flames.

Her shot was lost as she immediately threw off the cloak and stamped the flames out with her boots. All that was left was shriveled fabric. _That miserable wench! And that was one of my favorite cloaks! _

Snow angrily whirled, but Cecilia disappeared around the edge of the castle, traveling deeper into the garden. Was she heading for the forest? _Oh, so you want to make this difficult? A little game? Be afraid, Cecilia. I never lose. _

Where the hell did a blind maid run off to? It was a miracle she didn't collide with a tree. Snow remained confident—the maid's lack of sight would slow her down and the arrow would doubtlessly pierce her heart once fired.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," Snow called as she adjusted the bow and arrow. It was always good to be prepared. Slow and steady wins the race, that was another popular phrase, wasn't it?

There was a small rustle behind her, startling her. Snow accidentally let an arrow loose and it went soaring, flying…into a skunk. Gross. There was no way she was taking that home for supper. Snow's nose scrunched in disgust as she wrenched the arrow from its heart.

"You, my friend, should have considered a bath. If you had sprayed me, I would have killed you, anyway," she whispered to its unmoving carcass. If it had sprayed her, Rumpelstiltskin would probably fashion a little shack for her to live in while she aired out—he sure wasn't having his castle smell like that. Or his leather pants.

On with the chase. Snow darted around trees, peering into shadows for anything moving. Occasionally she heard a whimper of pain. The maid's suffering fueled her anticipation.

She tried to make as little sound as possible, but twigs still crunched under her feet. _Where are you? Have you gotten sprayed by the little animals? I hope so. _

_Snap! _A twig broke under her boots and she held her breath. A second later, a fireball swirled towards her head from somewhere up ahead and Snow ducked. The very top hairs on her head sizzled.

Well, that was rude. What kind of person launched a fireball at someone's head like that?

Snow rushed forward in the direction the fireball came from. Forget being the silent, stealthy hunter—that maid was going down. The moaning increased and Snow sensed she was closing in. A hint of a victorious smirk was already gracing her lips.

Her foot collided with something solid and Snow went hurtling forward headfirst into a patch of bushes. She coughed out leaves and plucked thorns from her side. Some were pretty deep and she hissed in discomfort. _Did that pathetic maid really have the nerve to trip me? Who in this realm does she think she is? _

Snow's fiery eyes wandered to the spot where she'd tripped and her brows knit together in awe. The maid hadn't tripped her after all; at least, not deliberately. Cecilia's body was sprawled across the ground, her chest heaving as she struggled to catch a breath.

Were her lungs burnt to a crisp? Did her heart squeeze to the point of exploding into pieces? One thing was for sure: the maid had seen better days. Too bad this would be the last one.

As Snow neared her weak body, Cecilia stretched an arm out across the ground. Was she actually asking for help? Did she think Snow would pity her? Those blind eyes were bulging, her mouth stuck in a round 'O' as she silently screamed.

Hoarse and faint, her once silky voice floated to Snow. It made her want to giggle. No wonder Rumpelstiltskin did that so often.

"Pl…Please…"

Snow inched forward until her boots were nudging the maid's fallen body. This must have been the only time she regretted the maid's loss of sight. It would have been thrilling to watch the light leave her eyes once her heart stopped pumping.

"Since you asked so nicely…" Snow loomed over Cecilia and prepared an arrow. Did the maid realize she was about to take her last breath? Did some instinct tell her that Snow was aiming a weapon directly at her heart? Snow smirked. "I hope he was worth it."

The arrow was released and it struck Cecilia's chest. Skin split like a blooming flower, crimson blood spurting up in streams as the arrow lodged in her heart. As life poured from her, Snow felt dark claws clenching her heart, fueling her with power. It was bliss.

Cecilia's body lurched and twisted as spasms overwhelmed her. She might as well have been dancing.

It was a full minute before Cecilia succumbed to death. Her body slowed, her nails stopped digging into the earth, the anxiety left her face. Snow had won the game. _What did I tell you? I never lose. _

The hair on her skin prickled and stood on end as she registered a presence directly behind her. For any other human, it would have been impossible to sneak up without making a sound. This was the forest, after all. Except he wasn't exactly human. The rules never applied to him.

Snow knew it was him and therefore did not turn around to meet what she expected to be a piercing, angry gaze. She did just murder the help, didn't she?

To her surprise, his golden-tainted hands tenderly stroked along her arms and his breath warmed her ear. His leather attire smoothed along her bare skin as his body pressed against hers. It was almost…pleasing. It stirred something deep inside her belly. She might have sighed.

And then, in his thick brogue:

"That's my girl."

…

_**To DaesGatling: As always, I am so lucky to have an awesome muse! It definitely is so much fun to write Dark Snow. *Tee…hee* **_

_**To thedoctorsgirl42: Thank you for all your support for my stories, dearie. Red is just too awesome for me to ignore—so I decided to toss her a bone. No pun intended. *Good doggy* **_

_**To pinkcrazyness: Thanks for reading! I appreciate it more than you know. (-; **_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Sorry it took a while to update for this chapter. It's been a rough week for me, reality-wise. But I hope you guys enjoy it all the same and that it was worth the wait. If not, I shall try all the harder next time. **_

_**Chapter Thirteen**_

"That's my girl."

The words tickled Snow's ear like a bothersome fly and secured steely clamps around her brain. They sucked away all her victorious glee and adrenaline until all that was left was a thirst to understand just what he meant. A cold sensation—akin to raw egg yolk dripping down her neck—made her muscles tense under her black dress.

Slowly, she rotated until she was staring into the golden irises of this realm's devil. A very handsome devil in leather pants, if she must be honest. No wonder there were so many anonymous love letters on their doorstep every morning.

"You…you mean to say that you…are _happy _I killed the help?" Rumpelstiltskin tented his fingers together and shrugged.

"She kept getting the gravy mixed up with the butter. When I call for butter, woman, I want butter," he cackled. The eerie sound was carried with the wind, amplified ten-fold. He was making a quip, as he often did when avoiding some other fine detail.

And then the possibility hit her like a sack of bricks.

"You planned this," she hissed. With a wave of his hand, Cecilia's body disappeared in a purple puff of smoke. She wondered if it would land on someone's kitchen table. Had anyone ever told him he could make easy money with magic tricks?

"Oh, dear. I think Charming's dull reflexes might have worn off on you. But then that would imply that part of me is sleeping with him and…" Rumpelstiltskin shuddered. Snow pouted. Was he calling her clueless?

"Let me see if I understand you," she said. Rumpelstiltskin stalked around her, his boots crunching the leaves on the ground.

"Let's see if you do." Snow followed his movements until they were performing a little odd dance. He seemed to enjoy it.

"You slept with our maid….so I would kill her? How sadistic an imp are you?" He paused to press a offended hand to his chest.

"When did I ever admit to sleeping with her, dearie? I never kiss and tell." Snow rolled her eyes. _You don't have to. Your eccentric ego does that for you. _Her brow furrowed as her brain latched onto the jewel in his possession.

"You never…Cecilia never slept with you?" He snorted as if the idea of sleeping with a voluptuous maid was beyond trifling. As if he was offended by her lack of trust in him. _Right. Because Rumpelstiltskin, the infamous dealmaker, is always known for his intense loyalty. _

"Oh, she was planning on it. Did you see the way she bent for that napkin? The little maid was planning on making a deal with me. Granting her sight, for the simple price of her body." Too bad the maid never got around to making that deal.

"Sorry to have spoiled that for you," Snow flung at him before marching away toward the opening of the forest. Ever graceful in step, Rumpelstiltskin easily cut her off, blocking her path. She collided into him and her hands pressed against his chest as she steadied herself.

"Now, Snow," he lilted as he held her close. "No need to be jealous. I would have declined. Believe it or not, I was counting on you noticing her attempts at my arousal." His accent rolled over that last word, as smooth as caramel. Snow tilted her head back and smirked.

"Really? What man could ever turn down such charm?" Her voice dripped with acid, but he barely winced. He scrunched his nose and shrugged loosely.

"She's not my type." His arm snaked around her waist and trapped her in his arms. "I much prefer those that know the beauty of playing hard to get." As Snow tried to squirm from his embrace, a low moan escaped his throat. She gave up with a huff.

"I am not jealous. I don't know what you mean. She left another disgusting hair in my soup," she cast it off. Rumpelstiltskin scoffed, but released her from his grip. He still didn't move from her path.

"Please. Our dear Cecilia could not have been more obvious if she traipsed around the halls naked!" Rumpelstiltskin giggled shrilly. _I'm glad you find such notions amusing. The last time someone chose to travel sans clothing, someone mistook him for a deer. _

Rumpelstiltskin settled as much as he could in his eccentricity and waved his hand frantically.

"Do you know why I was rooting for this little…catfight?" Snow could think of ten good reasons in terms of Rumpelstiltskin hosting such an event.

"For your entertainment?" That was one.

"Yes, there's that…but something more. To kill is to become darker than the person whose life you have taken. To be bestowed with power. And with power comes magic." He paused to see if she understood. The pieces began to connect—it was like she had discovered the light at the end of the tunnel. He nodded. "Why not take it for a test drive?"

A new layer of darkness had cloaked Snow's heart. She had felt it weighing on her from the moment Cecilia drew her last breath, clinging to life. Power hummed through her veins, begging for release.

She smiled upon setting her sights on a particularly old tree just ahead of them. Stepping past Rumpelstiltskin, Snow imagined it in her mind. And not a second later, the tree burst into wicked flames. The heat seared her skin, the smoke invaded her nostrils. She'd never been more pleased. This power…it felt good.

Rumpelstiltskin's body brushed against hers from behind and his hand clamped down on her shoulder. She could sense the pleasure emanating from him, too.

"Beautiful."

…

"Ow! Ow! Gods, not so rough!"

"If you stopped wiggling so much, perhaps we'd get somewhere." Rumpelstiltskin aimed the make-shift tweezers and pulled out another thorn from Snow's side. That one was sore. Good-for-nothing rosebush.

"How many are left?"

Snow's hands splayed across the top of the mirror in their bedchambers, her hip thrust outwards so he could see what he was doing. Honestly, he didn't seem to handle those tweezers any better than a fairy's wand and more than once she jerked away.

"More than I'd care to admit. Did you fall into the rosebush or go swimming in it?" She launched her elbow back to try to catch him in the ribs, but he swiftly dodged it. The tweezers pinched again and Snow yelped. "That's what happens when you wiggle."

"Is there a reason we couldn't have used magic to remove the thorns?" Magic would have been so much faster. And less painful. To think she could be resting in bed by now. Rumpelstiltskin, however, snorted with discontent.

"If I used magic to get every one of these little thorns out, the price would be astronomical. It'd be a blessing if my castle did not collapse. Besides, I like the view." Rumpelstiltskin hardly suppressed his giggle as his golden fingers danced over the skin of her hip.

Pinch. Ow. Pinch. _Gods!_

"By the way, Snow…there seems to be a problem with our dear hopeless wonder," he hinted morosely. Snow craned her neck to glance at him. Her thoughts spun like a whirlwind; she didn't even feel the pinch of the tweezers this time.

Charming. This should be good.

"Getting bored watching him run in circles around the Infinite Forest?" And here she assumed that would provide him endless amusement. Charming was practically his own little pet in a cage.

"Watching Charming run in circles will never be boring. Except for the fact that he's gone." Pinch. Thorn number twenty-eight. Snow tilted her head in puzzlement.

"You mean he's dead?" Did Charming already starve in the Infinite Forest? Did he trip down a hill and break his crown? Or did he run head-first into a tree? The possibilities were endless. That last option coincided with her dreams very well. Maybe she was an oracle.

"No, dearie. I mean he's _gone._ Poof. Missing." _Escaped, _her mind offered. There went her vision of being an oracle. But that was ridiculous. There was no escape from the Infinite Forest; that was the point. The only way out was…

Snow threw her head back and gave a dry laugh.

"Are you telling me he's discovered how to become a tooth fairy? Because I don't think I'd like to have him sneaking into my room at night." Pinch. Snow winced. Next time she decided to go on a killing spree, she'd watch her step.

Behind her, Rumpelstiltskin shifted, his hips brushing over hers. A low chuckle brushed her ear as he loomed over her.

"If Charming were a fairy, I wouldn't hesitate to nix his little magic wand and blow his wings off. I've wanted to do the same to a particular floating jellyfish for centuries. As a matter of fact, I believe that very same floating jellyfish came to his rescue," he surmised darkly. "You're done."

He patted her hip once and stepped away. Straightening, she tugged her skirts down. The Blue Fairy was stuck in her mind. Rumpelstiltskin's hatred for her was astounding.

"Floating jellyfish. Appropriate," Snow remarked. Did the Blue Fairy's tailor make a mistake? Or was the Blue Fairy so self-conscious about her age that she insisted on fitting into a ridiculous dress two sizes too small? She wasn't fooling anybody.

"Not my fault," Rumpelstiltskin shrugged. "She insulted my leather pants. Never insult a man's clothing in his own castle. Unless it involves Charming because—let's just face it, Snow—he doesn't have a castle."

He slipped off into one of his laughing fits. Sometimes she really did worry about his mental state. Maybe it was all those centuries of living alone. Such solitude couldn't be good for the health of a mind.

Snow lingered in front of the mirror and fingered the torn patches of her dress. If the maid weren't dead, she'd make her stitch every single one and gods help her if one of the stitches were crooked!

Her lips descended into a frown. Oddly, Charming was still on her mind. What was it about him that got her so worked up? He could be anywhere. And what if he returned, searching for her? He was her personal stalker.

"What will we do?" For the first time since she drank that potion, there was actual concern in her voice. In the mirror, she watched Rumpelstiltskin pivot toward her with a gleam in his eye. Who knew what that imp was thinking? He made picking flowers seem devious.

"You leave Charming to me. I've had enough of him storming through my castle. The man doesn't even use the doorbell! How rude is that?"

Despite his surface aggravation, Rumpelstiltskin was practically rubbing his palms together in anticipation. At this rate, he'd shut himself away in the library to concoct a potion or spell to settle the unwelcome prince. Perhaps he'd turn him into a cricket, too. Stuff him in the jar with Jiminy.

Snow straightened a tangled strand of dark, singed hair. She tried to force Charming from her mind, but her gaze inevitably traveled to the window. If Charming were smart, he'd forget about her.

…

"I will _never _forget about her," Charming chanted methodically as they trekked a little ways up the mountain. "I will find her. I will protect her. I will—"

"I will use you as a walking stick if you don't quit blabbering," Grumpy interrupted over his shoulder. He was tired and sweating. Working the mines was much better than this. _It's all because I'm a heavyset guy. This body ain't made for climbing a mountain. _

"Don't be mean. He's in love," Red immediately defended Charming as she hiked almost effortlessly. By her light tone, Grumpy was surprised she didn't sigh like a schoolgirl. "Haven't you ever been in love?"

"Dwarfs don't fall in love," Doc stated. It wasn't regretful by any means—it was spoken as flat-out truth. It was a basic rule to their existence, just like the idea that the sky above them was blue and not green. Red frowned.

"That's not very cheerful. If dwarfs don't fall in love, then how were you all born? In the back of a tavern?" Doc shook his head.

"No, of course not. That is quite ridiculous. We were hatched from eggs," he explained, catching his glasses before they could tumble off his nose. Red halted in her tracks and Charming collided into her. The rest of the dwarfs were like dominos.

"Eggs? No, seriously. How?" Seven pairs of dwarf eyes stared back at her without so much as a hint of amusement. Red's shoulders slumped. "Okay. Then where did the…uh, _eggs_ come from?"

Eggs. Ooh, was she hungry. That last meal hardly filled her, thanks to the little army.

"No one knows, really," Sneezy offered as he pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from sneezing. His voice was strange—it made it sound as if he had a fierce cold. Grumpy was the only one moving on, kicking up dust with his feet as he climbed.

"Grumpy?" Red called him back. She seemed concerned and then he realized she was asking her original question. Had he ever been in love? A mental image of Nova circled his mind and his chest ached. No way that could be in his head…right?

"How am I supposed to know? I'm just a dwarf. You ever been in love, sister?" He expected Red to be naïve, to say with certainty that she was still looking for love. None of them were prepared for the grief displayed on her face.

"Yes. But I ate him." The dwarfs watched her for a long minute, as if waiting for her to burst out laughing after the punch-line of a joke. Red dipped her head and carried on up the mountain, avoiding their gaze.

"Sheesh," Grumpy murmured to Charming. "Oh, and we all took a vote. If we camp out again, you're sleeping next to wolf-girl." He patted Charming on the back and picked up his pace before the prince could get a chance to argue.

It was another silent half hour of climbing before Red stopped in her tracks. Once again, they toppled over each other and nearly rolled down the mountain.

"Would you quit doing that?" Grumpy roared as he straightened his shirt. There was a hole in it. And this was his favorite shirt, too!

Red wasn't paying attention; she was focused on something in the distance. Was it just him or was she sniffing the air? _Where does Charming find these people? _

"Look!" She was pointing to something across the forest. Each one shielded their eyes from the sun and glanced over the expanse of trees. It was hard to see at first, but their faces became amazed all at the same time.

There, in the distance, was the Dark Castle. It towered over a patch of the Enchanted Forest, resting on a higher mountain than this one. As hopeful as it was to learn their whereabouts, the castle seemed ages away.

"That'll take us a whole other day to reach," Grumpy sighed, his hand falling away to his side. Another whole day of walking on sore feet. And…why was Charming smiling like that?

"Not necessarily," he hinted, eyeing Red with renewed interest. "Not if we had a powerful vessel to lead us. A carriage, a horse…or maybe a wolf."

Everyone simultaneously turned their heads to Red as the dots began to connect. Her face dropped at least a mile.

"Oh, no," she muttered, clinging to her cloak. Charming's puppy eyes were working full-force.

"Please, Red? On foot, it would take us a day. With you…we just might get there by nightfall." Red still looked ready to protest as she scrunched her cloak up in her fists, daring for anyone to try to make her part with it. "It's for Snow."

The dwarfs held their breath, waiting. The trees were still, the breeze nonexistent. The entire Enchanted Forest seemed to be biding its time for Red's answer. Finally, she loosened her grip on her cloak and lowered her hood.

"Do any of you know how to make a sled?"

…..

"So, what's the plan?"

The lot of them hunched behind the rosebushes surrounding the castle. The sled idea was short-lived, since it was poorly constructed from vines and limbs of trees the dwarfs had chopped with their pick-axes. It took Grumpy quite a while to catch up to them back there.

At least it was the dead of night—the inhabitants of the castle should be sleeping by now. Should, anyway.

"Red will scope out the place as Lassie," Grumpy explained. Red twitched her nose at the puppy name. Couldn't he come up with a better name than Lassie? Cujo. Now that was a cute name. "She'll find Snow and give us the signal to move in."

Charming tilted his head.

"What's the signal?" He glanced between Grumpy and Red. They were giving him painfully obvious looks. Well, if he was going to wait for the signal, he might as well know what it was. What kind of signal could a wolf really give….Oh. Wolf. Right.

"Oh, I figure she'll set off a bunch of fireworks and toss the imp's spinning wheel out the window," Grumpy retorted. Red placed a reassuring hand on Charming's arm. At least she was a good friend.

"I'll howl when I find Snow," she promised. Then her eyes widened. "Wait, could I actually do that? Throw the wheel out the window?" To her, that sounded…well, fun. And rebellious. Granny would kill her with the crossbow if she knew.

Grumpy hung his head in annoyance. One of the dwarfs snickered. Red blamed Dopey.

"Sure, sister. If you want to forfeit the use of your hind legs. Or maybe he'll burn your cloak and you'll be stuck morphing into a dog the rest of your life. Sure would make marriage difficult." Red grimaced and tugged her hood over her head. She had enough insecurities about her figure as it was.

"I'd rather not use my legs. Changing against my will is bad enough, but the fleas…they drive me to drink every time. Have you ever seen a drunk dog? It's not as funny as you think." The dwarfs stared at her in shock and maybe some of them were even imagining a drunk dog.

"Anyway," Grumpy continued, trying to peer into one of the stained glass windows. "Red will give us the signal. And then us dwarfs will charge in there and take back Snow!" The dwarfs nodded in agreement. Sneezy sneezed. "Ah, come on, Sneezy! Didn't you remember to drink from your allergy mug this morning?"

"He spins gold from _straw! _What do you want from me?"

Charming was oblivious to Sneezy's torrent of allergies. He was still looking quite clueless as he reclined in the roses. Maybe Grumpy should have told him there were thorns. Nah, he'd let him figure it out.

"What do I do?" Grumpy clamped a hand down on Charming's shoulder. This part was crucial—they couldn't repeat the last time around and have Charming make a disaster of their plan.

"I'm gonna make it real simple. You've got to kiss the girl." How could Charming mess up a chance to kiss Snow? She was his true love, after all.

"Is it just me or would that line sound so much better with a Jamaican accent?" Everyone looked at Red strangely. She shrugged. "It sounded good inside my head."

Grumpy stepped away from the window and dipped his head to Red. The ruby cloak was shed and her pupils glowed a vibrant golden. Her muscles rippled and her body shifted in impossible ways. The transformation left them with pale faces and wide eyes.

Red—clad in her wolf form—padded off around the side of the castle, a great dark creature of the night.

"Seriously, where does she put that tail?" The dwarfs shook their heads in wonder. What was this world coming to these days where regular girls turned into dogs? Next there'd be girls with hair miles long that you could physically climb. It was ridiculous.

Grumpy settled down cross-legged on the cold ground, his pick-axe cradled in his lap.

"And now we wait for the signal," he muttered. The rest of them followed suit and slid down to the ground with the stone of the castle against their backs. Sleepy yawned and Grumpy kicked him; there was no time to fall asleep.

Charming was the only one grinning like a fool.

"Can we still have the fireworks?" He folded his arms behind his head and nestled into the rosebush. And then he yelped. "Ow, thorns, thorns, thorns!"

….

_**For the record, I would like to thank lollikins once again for making me that awesome graphic which now serves as this story's cover. Thanks so much, lollikins! (-;**_

_**And of course where would I be without the readers and reviewers? Thank you everyone for that!**_

_**To DaesGatling: Yes, that's our Dark!Snow at her best. Rumpel must be so proud of her. And I am planning for that to happen sometime soon in this story—I've actually gotten a snippet already written up for that big moment for these two. Once I revise it, I'll send it your way.**_

_**To The Sky Pirate Girl: Thanks for all the support you give to my stories! Have you checked out my Sunshine story yet? It's quite like this one, except more funny. Ah, I do love writing for Dark!Snow. You never know what she'll do. (-;**_

_**To thedoctorsgirl42: Okay, so the pun was intended. And as for Dark!Snow, that's what happens when you become darker than the one whose life you take. You see what you interrupted, Charming? Thanks for reading!**_

_**To swan love: Thanks for the review! And now I'm picturing those two pulling each other's hair like a reality show while Rumpel watches from the background. Go figure. **_

_**Thank you, everyone, for reading and hopefully it won't take me so long to update next time. Nighty-night now. **_


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: It has been quite a while since I updated for this story. My apologies. I've been writing for a couple other stories lately. However, this is a pretty good-sized chapter for my readers. Enjoy! **_

_**Chapter Fourteen**_

It was oddly comforting, having someone in his bed to snuggle with. And Snow obviously did not mind the snuggling, even if her heart would not allow for love…anymore.

Head nestled on his chest, Snow's body curled against his while his arm draped across her waist, preventing her from straying. Not that she was planning on going anywhere, like back to that lovesick Charming. She was his.

Softly, she dozed, her breath tickling his golden-gray skin. She was quite worn from their latest activities together. Lucky for her—he often found himself wide awake with sleep lingering beyond his reach. Many a night he'd spent at the wheel, spinning until the sun arose on the horizon.

This, however, was…nice. This he could get used to, given the time. Peacefully his eyes drifted closed as he held his dear Snow in his embrace.

A second later, his eyelids split apart again. The alarms were ringing in his mind, set off by the layer of magic enveloping his castle. Someone was here, an intruder. Did they honestly believe they could sneak up on him in his sleep, cut his heart out? He had to give them credit for their cockiness, though. Or was it….Charming?

Gently, he nudged Snow awake. She moaned in protest, her eyes blinking rapidly with disorientation.

"Dearie, I don't mean to startle you, but I believe someone has decided to join us for a sleepover," he hinted. It was much too hard to keep the excitement out of his voice. Snow lifted her body on one elbow and glared at him.

"Must you quip about _everything? _It's the middle of the night and I am half-asleep. Gods, I was in the middle of breaking open a Charming piñata! Speak English!" He released an impatient sigh. Always had to suck the fun out of everything, didn't she?

"There's an intruder in our castle," he flatly translated as he swept the sheets aside and used magic to fashion his clothes on his body. He truly wondered if people realized how much time they wasted daily just by getting dressed. Magic solves everything. "Don't trouble yourself, Snow. This will only take a moment."

Snow yawned and curled her arm under her head, allowing her eyes to slide closed. _Now, where was I? Oh right, it was my turn to swing. _

…

Red nudged the front door open with a paw and trotted into the castle as if she were visiting an old friend. In a way, she was. She kept Snow's friendly, gentle face secure in her mind as she invaded the main hall of the Dark Castle, a feat that was attempted by a number of men she could count on one hand.

It was dark and empty. Shadows clung to every surface, making the hall appear ominous and uninviting. One of the chairs was pulled out from the table, but it didn't look as if anyone had been there for a while. Scampering over to it, Red lifted one paw onto the seat—it was cool. A crossbow and arrows had been discarded on the table, the tip of one bloody.

Strange objects scattered the room on pedestals. A velvet blue wizard's hat decorated with silver stars, a delicate chipped cup that bore no stains of tea whatsoever, a seemingly empty glass jar, and two immensely disturbing puppets. What kind of collection was that?

Red dashed up the stairs to the upper landing. Two separate hallways put her at a crossroads. Right or left? Where would Snow be? In a bedroom or hidden away in the dungeons?

A sudden hint of a familiar scent jerked Red's black nose to the left. There was no mistaking it. _Snow! _

She broke into a run, not caring who heard, and followed the increasingly strong scent down the hallway. The sound of her padding paws echoed off the walls in this silent, still castle. All that mattered was finding—

A leg.

Someone was standing in her path, but it sure wasn't Snow. It couldn't be. Unless Snow suddenly formed a fondness for tight leather pants.

Red's fur hitched as she lifted her head and bared her jaws at none other than the master of the Dark Castle. Rumpelstiltskin. _Come on, imp. I'm ready. Not many people would be stupid enough to take on a massive wolf. You're going down. _

A deep growl issued from her throat, but he never even flinched. Raising a hand, a wave of tremendous power emanated from him and she went flying across the hall. Red landed painfully on her paw and whined. It felt broken and she could hardly stand on it.

Red tossed her head back to howl—the signal—but it was muffled as a cloak draped her body. It wasn't her red cloak, but she could instantly tell it was enchanted for the same purpose. Magic pulsed around her, enveloping her in a cocoon. Her bones and fur retracted; her paws sprouted fingers. Her bushy tail was tucked away.

She was changing back into a human.

The cloak slipped away from her face and she found herself staring up into a pair of golden-hued eyes unlike any she'd ever seen, even her own. They weren't human, that was for sure.

"Well, well," Rumpelstiltskin drawled, clucking his tongue in ridicule. "Here I am, heading down to the kitchen for a midnight snack and what do I find? A stray mutt." Before Red could even gasp, the cloak was draped around her once more.

…..

It was nearly midnight when the entrance to the Dark Castle edged open. Snow White and Rumpelstiltskin had ventured to their bedroom hours earlier, leaving the castle shadowy and quiet.

Peering through the glass jar, Jiminy watched as a massive black wolf padded into the hall. It was as tall as the dining table on its four feet. Even larger, actually. What was a wolf doing in the Dark Castle? All animals possessed instinct enough to avoid the castle's grounds.

Jiminy kept silent as he studied the round, murky eye of the wolf. It seemed to be scanning the hall, the pupil brimming with intelligence and calculation. It even lifted a paw up on a pulled-out chair—to check the pattern of body warmth, as Jiminy soon realized by the relief clear in the wolf's expression.

This was no ordinary wolf by any means. A werewolf, perhaps?

The wolf dashed up the marble steps, never paying him any mind. Maybe it hadn't noticed him stuck in this jar. He watched the wolf's head jerk sharply to the left, its black nose twitching as though catching a scent. It disappeared down the hallway, its pounding feet echoing off the walls.

Could the wolf have possibly been sent here to kill Rumpelstiltskin? Would a wolf be any match for someone with as much power as him?

Not a second later, there was a deep-throated growl and a whine as the formidable wolf pummeled through the air on the landing. He'd take that answer as a distinct _no. _

Rumpelstiltskin swooped into view, draping a cloak over the wolf's fallen form. The fabric shimmered, the magic woven into its seams working over the creature underneath. The wolf was struggling before a bare arm slid out from the folds. A human arm?

Jiminy found himself pressed closely to the glass as Rumpelstiltskin peeled the cloak back from the wolf's head, revealing the gentle face of a young woman instead of thick black fur and bared teeth. Jiminy's eyes widened with recognition—it was Red, Snow's best friend.

And if Red was here, most likely in search of Snow, then it meant Charming was here, too.

He had to get out of here. He had to warn Charming what had happened before he came rushing in here, into a trap. It pained him to realize he would not be much help to Red, what with Rumpelstiltskin dragging her human form off in the direction of the dungeons.

Jiminy banged his umbrella against the glass, but it did no good. Huffing, he slammed his little shoulder against it, making it move half an inch. Repeatedly, he did it even though it made his arm hurt something fierce. Just a little more…it was teetering over the edge now…there!

Once more he shoved against it and fell through the opening. His umbrella opened, allowing him to drift easily to the cold floor. His beady black eyes darted to the hallway that led to the dungeons, just as there was a slam of a cell door. He'd better skedaddle before Rumpelstiltskin noticed his absence.

Tucking his umbrella under his arm, Jiminy hopped to the front door and squirmed underneath it, free of the Dark Castle at last.

….

"It's been too long," Charming announced, peering through one of the stained glass windows. It was too difficult to make anything out in the shadows. Nothing was moving—if not for the fact that he'd personally visited Rumpelstiltskin here before, he might start to believe the castle was empty.

"It's been seven minutes," Grumpy shot back from where he sat against the wall of the castle, shivering. Beside him, Sleepy was slouched with his hat covering his eyes, snoring loudly in Grumpy's ear.

"Yes, seven minutes too long," Charming argued, coming around to stand in front of Grumpy. The dwarf simply stared up at him, unintimidated. "Something's not right."

"I know what you mean," Happy spoke up from the corner of the wall. It looked like he was inspecting it, though there were only wispy weeds shooting up from the ground. "Someone should really plant some flowers near the door. It would make the castle more pleasing to look at, don't you think?" Sneezy wiped his nose.

"Maybe to you. You're not a walking flu." Grumpy rolled his eyes and scrambled to his feet. Just because he only reached Charming's chest didn't mean he wasn't a threat to the prince's show of bravado.

"Lookie here, Charming," Grumpy grumbled, poking the prince in the chest. "Red can handle herself. Feel free to charge in there without a sword—we'll wave goodbye to you. That imp'll turn you into a pumpkin and carve you up. The rest of us will wait for the signal. We're not moving from this spot unless Red howls, the spinning wheel flies out the window, or there happens to be terrible news."

"Terrible news! Terrible news!" A small voice rang out, though there was no one in sight. Grumpy and Charming jumped up, glancing around wildly in an attempt to find the source of the noise. Grumpy was safely armed with his pick-axe while Charming merely held a rock.

"I think Snow hit me harder than I thought. I could have sworn I just heard a voice shouting about terrible news," Charming mused, rubbing the back of his head. The dwarfs were all wearing confused expressions, all except Sleepy who dozed on.

"If you're going loopy, then so am I," Grumpy said over his shoulder as he scanned the garden. "I heard the same thing."

"Down here," the voice chirped again. Simultaneously, they saw it—a tiny figure bouncing up and down on Sleepy's nose. A cricket, to be exact. "Jiminy Cricket, at your service." The little guy made a bow and tipped his umbrella.

Just then, Sleepy yawned widely and blinked his eyes. He stared down his nose at Jiminy and then shrieked like a banshee.

"Bug!" His hand flew up to his nose as he tried to smack Jiminy away, but the cricket hopped down to the ground. Sleepy punched himself in the nose while the dwarfs hurried to scoop Jiminy into their palms. "Did you see him? There was a _bug_ on my _face!"_

"Sleepy, that was Jiminy Cricket," Doc explained patiently, clapping a hand on the dwarfs' shoulder to calm him down. Sleepy rubbed his eyes and gave Jiminy a closer look. Realization sparked in his eyes for a second before dimming down to their usual weariness.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled. Jiminy forgave him with a light nod. "But it's your fault. Don't you know better than to stand on people's noses when they're sleeping?"

"What were you saying about terrible news?" Grumpy inquired, ignoring Sleepy's complaints about personal invasion. Positioned in the center of Doc's palm, Jiminy rotated to face Grumpy directly.

"Well, I was trapped in a jar inside the Dark Castle after marrying those two. Snow…she tried training me to perform circus acts like jumping through a hoop. And the hoop was on fire! Oh, it was dreadful!" Jiminy shuddered. "Tonight, I saw Red enter the castle and start down a hallway, the one leading to _their _bedroom."

Grumpy grimaced as involuntary mental images scrolled across his mind. Snow White and Rumpelstiltskin sharing a bed? Gross.

"It was a rescue attempt," Charming began to explain. Apparently his mind hadn't caught up just yet. "She was sniffing out Snow and—wait a minute! Did you just say those two were _sharing_ a _bedroom?"_ Charming lifted his rock above his head like he was going to hurl it through the window and hope it caught Rumpelstiltskin.

Even being so small, the dour look on Jiminy's face did not go unnoticed. Charming had a gut feeling this was where the true terrible news began. As if it wasn't bad enough that his true love was snuggling with another man. Or imp. Or whatever he was.

"Afraid so, Charming. Unfortunately, Red's not doing much rescuing. I saw everything! She got caught by Rumpelstiltskin," Jiminy declared frightfully. There was a low gasp of surprise before Charming rounded on Grumpy.

"So, do you still think it's a bad idea to charge in there?" He cradled his rock close to his chest and stormed for the front entrance. "If Snow made Jiminy jump through rings of fire, what do you think Rumpelstiltskin will do to Red?"

The dwarfs watched his retreating back as he disappeared around the corner of the castle. No one made a move from their spots. Even Jiminy merely remained crouched in Doc's palm, clutching his black umbrella for dear life.

"There goes our hero," Happy sighed.

"I give him three minutes," Grumpy declared half-heartedly. All the man had for a weapon was a rock. How far could he get?

"Should we follow him?" Doc asked, tilting his head toward Grumpy. The dwarf gazed down at his pick-axe, thinking of the Snow White he had befriended not too long ago. Snow would charge in there, too. Except Snow would have a better chance against Rumpelstiltskin than Charming.

"We owe it to Snow," he finally murmured. Lifting his pick-axe to his shoulder, he nodded firmly. "Well, boys, we might as well stop Charming from losing his head."

….

Charming didn't bother waiting for the dwarfs to catch up before he barreled into the front door. Only, he smacked his head on it without making it budge. Why did these doors have to be so heavy? Red made it look so easy, but then again she was practically the size of the door in wolf form.

Rubbing his forehead, he shoved his weight against it and gradually edged it open. The footsteps of the dwarfs raced in his direction, but he was already inside, searching around for an imp that could be hiding anywhere in the slithering shadows.

"Come out, beast! I know you're here," he called out boldly. Silence rushed back at him, ringing in his ears. At least until someone sneezed. Six pairs of eyes simultaneously spun toward Sneezy.

"Oh, sure. Someone sneezes and everyone turns to stare at the guy with the allergy problem," he muttered. Charming arched an eyebrow. These dwarfs were so easily offended.

"Was it you?" Sneezy's eyes traveled to the ground and his face turned red with embarrassment.

"Yes," he admitted quietly. Grumpy patted him on the back reassuringly.

"It's alright, Sneezy. You can't help what you are." Charming ignored the dwarfs and spun in circles, eyes scanning the extensive hall. Magic crackled in the air, making it overly thick to breathe. He was somewhere nearby. Either that or he left to run an errand and this was his security system.

"Rumpelstiltskin," he called out at the top of his lungs. Maybe he really wasn't here, after all. Maybe he took Red somewhere else. In that case, he could always start looking for Snow—

"Looking for me?" Charming whirled on his heel toward the dining table. Perched on the edge, legs crossed at the ankle and swinging leisurely, was the imp. He was casually examining his sharp black nails as if he'd been there for hours, waiting for an appointment.

"You mean there's more than one beast in this castle with an affinity for leather and an obnoxiously long name?" Charming held his rock out in front of him as he would a sword. Golden eyes flicking over to him, Rumpelstiltskin scrunched his nose in distaste.

"It amazes me you even know what the word _affinity _means," he retorted, purposefully smoothing a hand along his crocodile-skinned vest. "To answer your question, I sent an invitation for the witch-dragon Maleficent to have tea…but she couldn't make it. "

"In other words, you killed her," Charming accused, holding his rock in the direction of Rumpelstiltskin. If he took a step closer, it'd go flying.

"Oh, no, dearie. I didn't kill her. She's off mourning the loss of her dear friend, the Queen. And by mourning, I mean riding that useless sack she calls a pet around her courtyard," he replied.

"Go for the arrows," Grumpy roared to Charming, gesturing animatedly to the bow and arrows on the dining table.

Swooping forward, Charming snatched up the bow and readied an arrow before Rumpelstiltskin could stop him. Then again, he didn't seem to try too hard. Pulling the arrow back, Charming let it loose, straight into Rumpelstiltskin's chest. Grumpy made a victorious air-pump.

Everyone waited for the agony to bring Rumpelstiltskin to his knees—a place he'd surely never been before—but it never happened. Gazing down at the arrow sticking out of his chest, he gave an impatient sigh. Wrapping a hand around it, he wrenched it out like a sliver, tossing it away.

Rumpelstiltskin pointed a finger accusingly at Charming, who had gone pale from the realization that an arrow was useless against the most powerful man of the realms.

"Why is it that you always feel the need to storm through my castle pointing objects at my chest? First a sword, then a stone, and now you're shooting arrows into my heart. If you were wondering why I _forgot_ to invite you to teatime, there's your answer."

"I wouldn't require a stone or arrows if someone hadn't stolen my sword," Charming snapped back. Rumpelstiltskin leaped off the table, landing swiftly on his feet, and circled Charming. It made him feel like a piece of meat to be devoured.

"Stolen is such a harsh word. I merely borrowed it," he drawled as he rotated full-circle. It didn't seem like he had any intention of returning it, either. Charming's eyes narrowed.

"Borrowed it for what?" Rumpelstiltskin paused and touched a golden finger to his chin. Those dark irises gleamed in the off-setting shadows, black jewels among gold.

"I ran out of knives to chop the wedding salad."

The dwarfs were getting anxious, unsure whether to make their presence known by moving further into the hall. Only Grumpy took the initiative to stride forward. Rumpelstiltskin's eyes switched to him immediately, gleeful in the new competition.

"Well, well. If it isn't the walking puppet-to-be." Grumpy faltered, long enough to check that his legs were still human and in working condition. He took it as a warning not to come any closer.

"Enough games, imp. Where's Snow and Red?" Charming nodded his head, thrusting his little rock in front of him.

"Yeah…what he asked," he added. Rumpelstiltskin observed him incredulously and imagined changing him into his mistletoe for the holidays. It would be amusing to no end—Charming literally hanging by a thread while he and Snow passionately locked lips.

"Your puppy is currently marking her territory in the dungeons, nursing a broken wrist. As for Snow, she's drifting in dreamland. Let's not wake her." Slowly, Charming lowered the rock to come face-to-face with Rumpelstiltskin. His blue eyes widened, reflecting his sadness.

Rumpelstiltskin sneered; if Charming was trying to use his puppy-eyes, it wouldn't work. Crying did nothing for him, either. Once he'd even had a customer fall on the ground, clinging to his legs and begging to alter their deal. Needless to say, that man made an attractive rug.

"Please. I will leave here and never return. I will never point another sword or barge in without knocking. All I want is to see Snow," Charming bartered. For a long moment, Rumpelstiltskin wandered toward one of the windows in thought.

"Never?" He inquired over his shoulder, just to test Charming's boundaries. The prince squared his jaw and nodded.

"Never." Such a powerful word…_never._ All Charming wanted…was to _see_ Snow, hm? That could easily be arranged. And then Charming would have a door slammed in his face. Priceless.

"You'll find her in the last bedroom in the West Wing," Rumpelstiltskin declared.

As soon as the admission left his lips, that bumbling group charged up the stairs, off to visit their dear Snow White. Probably thought Charming could do something to bring her back to the way she used to be. Unrequited love didn't amount to much in the Enchanted Forest.

_This ought to be quite a show,_ Rumpelstiltskin thought as he remained in the hall, listening to their steps fade along the corridor. Knowing his dark Snow, she would have something delicious waiting in store. Practically skipping to the mirror, he uncovered its glassy surface and decided to watch.

…

Charming and the dwarfs raced up the stairs two at a time. Every step he drew closer to Snow, his heart pounded and swelled inside his chest. It was as though a rope were secured around his waist, reeling him in. _Hang on, Snow. I'm coming for you. _

Nearly flying to the last door, he burst in….and there she was.

Sleeping soundly in the bed—her bed, he hoped—with the covers nestled up to her chest. Softly her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. One arm was tucked under her head and there was a serene smile clinging to her lips as she dreamt.

He wondered what she was dreaming about. She looked so happy…was she possibly dreaming about their time together? Did she sense how close he was to her now?

Quietly, he slid up to the side of the bed and knelt down on one knee. The dwarfs huddled by the door, watching with sympathetic expressions. Jiminy poked his head up from Doc's pocket and sighed. Reaching out, Charming caressed Snow's face. In sleep, she looked exactly like her true self, not the dark being she had become.

"Snow," he whispered as he leaned over her sleeping form. Bending his head, his lips softly captured hers in a tender kiss. He poured all his emotion and love into it, willing her to return to him.

"Aww," Happy sighed, earning a tremendous shush from the other dwarfs. As the kiss broke, Snow gave a small gasp and her eyelids fluttered open, instantly meeting Charming's ocean blue ones. Confusion spiraled across her face and she looked like she was reaching out to him.

"Charming?" He breathed a sigh of relief. It worked! She remembered! _True love wins out every time. Take that, Rumpelstiltskin! _He smiled lovingly upon Snow, stroking her ebony hair. It was as silky as he remembered.

"I told you I'll always find you," he said. It was their little saying. Using '_I love you' _was so one hundred years ago.

Something twisted across Snow's face. Disbelief, disgust. Instead of reaching for him, she grabbed up a bottle from the nightstand and smashed it on his head. Charming fell back against the floor, his hand clamping down on the spot where the bottle connected with his skull.

A river of cold liquid seeped across his neck—it felt drippy and slimy as it coated his skin. It wasn't warm like blood. His bones felt funny, as if they were shortening and bending in ways they shouldn't bend at all. Why were his hips doing that? Why was Snow much farther away? What in gods was going on?

"Snow," he croaked, his voice oddly raspy. Did she give him a case of the flu or something? "What did you do?" All she did was stare down at him with a malicious red smile.

"Good luck getting any princess to kiss you now, Charming."

…..


	15. Chapter 15

_Ugh…what…happened? Why…why are my legs bent this way? And why do I feel…slimy? Someone run me a bath! Snow? What are you doing way up there? I'm shorter than the dwarfs! What sort of tomfoolery is this?_

"Snow, you've changed him into a…a…" Grumpy was baffled to the point where he couldn't even utter the word. His mouth was left hanging open unattractively. Charming started to panic.

_A what? A midget? A cockroach? A ball of lint? No, I'm not a ball of lint—otherwise, I wouldn't have a brain. What am I? And why are you screaming, Grumpy? Use your indoor voice! _

"He's a frog," Sneezy exclaimed, staring down at him. _A what? _Charming extended one of his hands out and he froze in horror. His hand was green! _I am green! This complexion won't be good for me! I am a frog! Oh, gods, what will my mother think? _

"Wrong vial. I was going for the one that would turn him into a scarecrow. He would have looked good in our gardens," Snow remarked as she perched on the edge of the bed. The curls of her ebony hair spiraled down as she towered over him.

Something hopped in the corner of his eye and he jumped back, raising his webbed limbs in defense. Oh, it was only Jiminy. _The awkward moment when a cricket is nearly the same size as you. And you want to eat him. _

"Don't worry," Jiminy advised him calmly. At least one of them had their senses. "You grow used to the height and constant hopping after a while."

_But I don't want to be like you! I don't want to be short, hop from place to place, and swallow flies! I want to be human! _Charming tried to glare at the cricket—he didn't know if it worked. His facial structure was all wrong. For all he knew, he was sitting here with his tongue sticking out.

"You," Snow hissed, narrowing her eyes at Jiminy. He shrunk back, searching for a place of safety from Snow's oncoming wrath. "How did you get loose?"

Reaching behind the bed, Snow revealed an iron poker. And she was raising it above her head, aiming at them. _Oh, no. _

"Snow, don't!" But it was too late.

The iron poker flew down and they both jumped into the air to evade it. Jiminy leaped up into Grumpy's waiting palm. Charming, on the other hand, was rudely lifted by his leg. _Hey, watch it! I'm upside-down! Oh, breakfast is coming up. _

Slowly, he spun in the air and he soon came face to face with his captor. Rumpelstiltskin. The imp looked quite pleased with Charming's latest predicament. _Put me down! I have an extra-long tongue and…I may not know how to use it, but I shall use it somehow! _

The puny brain in his head fired up and his tongue whipped out, aiming for Rumpelstiltskin's eyes. That's what he would do—blind him with the power of his tongue.

It would have worked if Rumpelstiltskin hadn't pinched Charming's pink tongue between his fingers. Charming's body jerked and he tried cursing Rumpelstiltskin's name in order to get him to let go. He only laughed shrilly.

"Oh, Dark One got your tongue?"

Rumpelstiltskin's nails dug into Charming's tongue before releasing it. It flapped back into his head with such force that it made Charming's mouth vibrate. _It's not fun when you get a headache from your own tongue. _

"You've had your fun. Release him," one of the dwarfs demanded. Charming could not agree more. _Yeah, what he said!_

That awful gleam in Rumpelstiltskin's odd-colored eyes unsettled him. Swiftly, he drifted to the window with Charming bobbing in the air. Rumpelstiltskin dangled him out the window, his intentions dawning on Charming. It was a long fall to those rosebushes below. _Wait! Not the rosebushes! _

"As you wish." And Charming began a rapid descent head-first toward the bushes.

…..

The dwarfs watched Charming disappear through the window, tossed away like a bit of trash in need of discarding. Though, Grumpy doubted the prince held more value to Rumpelstiltskin than that. And Snow was smiling, but it was icy as a frozen lake in the winter, a ghost of what it once was. Would the winter ever end?

"When we asked for the prince to be released, that is not what we meant," Grumpy thundered, gripping the handle of his pick-axe all the tighter. Snow yawned and stretched her arms high above her head, flexing her muscles.

"Words, words, words," she moaned in a bored voice. Rumpelstiltskin's gaze snapped to his wife, but he did not argue with her carelessness over such details. Instead, he pounced forward with the agility of a cat.

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't take kindly to intruders in my castle," he growled.

In a split second, he'd drawn close enough to thrust a finger into Grumpy's chest, forcing him to stumble backward on his heels. Bristling with anger, the lanky strands of his hair practically crackling with energy, Rumpelstiltskin pointed to the hall.

"Get. Out."

The majority of the dwarfs figured that wasn't half a bad idea and edged out into the hall, away from the finger that could so easily brandish dark magic. Grumpy, however, remained in place. He glanced at Snow, who was watching him with interest.

"Snow, please—"

His pleading was cut off by the way Rumpelstiltskin suddenly grabbed him up by the clothing of his vest and brought him within inches of his face. He didn't think the imp gave first chances, never mind second ones.

"Oh, so you wish to live a fate worse than Charming's? What shall it be? A clock? Perhaps a crack in the floorboards so that you may kiss the bottom of my boot every morning?"

Grumpy's heart pounded in his chest; he thought it might burst out. The other dwarfs were too afraid to move. Desperately, Grumpy lifted his pick-axe and buried it in Rumpelstiltskin's shoulder-blade.

Blood spurted from the wound and Grumpy was dropped to the floor in a bundle. He couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. _A-ha! I got you now, imp! Let's see you walk away from that! _

Snow's eyes had flown open wide at the sight of the pick-axe protruding from Rumpelstiltskin's back, had even leapt up from the bed in her astonishment. But Rumpelstiltskin himself was a different matter. He didn't cry out in pain or bend over in agony. His face didn't contort into madness and he didn't fall to his feet.

It seemed he didn't even notice the pick-axe in his back at all.

Sighing impatiently, Rumpelstiltskin reached a hand over his shoulder and yanked the axe out clean, without a groan. Blood dripped from the point, though he was not bothered by it. The weapon slapped against Rumpelstiltskin's palm and Grumpy had the odd feeling it might be used on him next. _How…but…he…I had him! _

"Is that the best you can do? I've dealt with far worse before, dearie. If you're going to kill me, at least have the courtesy of doing it with style," he lilted, that weapon still bobbing up and down.

Grumpy scrambled to his feet and he craned his neck toward Snow. That was not Snow anymore.

Before Rumpelstiltskin could inflict any damage upon him, he'd made up his mind. They had lost; this battle was over. They were tired and all that would come of it was loss. Charming had proved that. Slipping his hat off, Grumpy held it to his chest in a last solemn act of honor.

"Goodbye, Snow," he whispered and hoped some old part of the courageous woman he befriended had heard it. A tear threatened to fall, but Grumpy wiped it back with his palm. Turning, he and the dwarfs rushed from the room and fled out into the night.

…

It was him.

Red could smell him coming down the stairs, his boots thumping against each step in warning of his presence.

The heavy cell door swung open—magically, she had no doubt—and there he lounged on the threshold with his arms crossed, as if he were anything but her captor. Red wished she weren't locked in chains so she could whip this cloak off, turn into a wolf, and rip those leather pants off. A blush warmed her cheeks as she realized how that really sounded.

"Ooh! Someone is happy to see me," he mocked, murky amber eyes gleaming at the sight of her emblazoned cheeks.

Red snarled and fought against the iron chains, ignoring the intense shooting agony in her broken wrist. The chains held in place, binding her. He made a low disapproving _tsk-tsk_, wandering into the confines of the cell. _Just you wait, imp! One of these days, Prince Charming will return Snow to us. I will come back with a vengeance! _

"Down, girl. Don't make me fit you for a muzzle," he cooed to her and giggled that horrendous, heart-freezing giggle.

He oozed pleasure as he danced closer to her, but straying enough feet away from her reach. _Come closer, I dare you. I still have teeth. All the better to eat you with! _

"What did you do with Charming?"

Her sharp eyes screamed murder, never leaving the imp for fear he might play some cruel trick of magic. Must he be such a thorn in their sides? His boots thudded against the stone floor, matching the pounding of blood in her ears.

"Charming?" He touched a black-nailed finger to his chin, as though sincerely struggling to recall who she was talking about. Then he snapped his fingers. "_Oh,_ you mean our new frog prince. Ah, yes. How silly of me. He's adjusting quite well to his new body."

Red's knees grew weak and her heart sank into her stomach. _Oh, Charming, no. _

"Where's Snow?" Red strained her ears to listen for a footfall or a scrape of a dining room chair. Nothing. The Dark Castle was serene and still.

Was Snow inside the Dark Castle at all? Or was she…taking care of Charming? It made Red wince to think such things, even more so than the pain in her arm.

Rumpelstiltskin flitted near her shoulder and his fingers brushed over it. It made her stomach curl into knots to earn his attention. Disgusted, she jerked away from his vile touch and she heard him scowl unpleasantly. His thoughts invaded her brain—this was his castle and if he wanted to lay hands on his prisoner, then so be it.

_I should have stayed home with Granny. At least she has the crossbow. And what do I have? A broken wrist, a cloak, and chains. _

"Oh, Snow will be delighted to play with her new pup. Perhaps she can instruct you to obey. Unfortunately, she'll be heading into town today and I have deals to make. I'll tell her you requested a visit."

Red didn't think that message would be carried through with great urgency. She figured he would kick his feet back and enjoy watching her break and suffer first.

And then Red dared to ask the question that made her throat burn and her nerves leap like fish out of water. There was no avoiding the matter and the sooner she had the answer, the sooner she could accept her fate.

"What are you going to do with me?"

It was barely louder than a whisper, but it was amplified inside the deathly still cell, the words bouncing off the stone walls and mocking her raw voice. It seemed he had been waiting for her to ask the question.

Eerily, his lips curved and split apart, revealing a row of less than perfect teeth that caught the flickering glow of the torches. His finger rubbed together excitedly and he loomed before her, a poisonous snake about to strike.

Swooping forward, he deftly caught her by the chin, his face inches from her own. She winced when she felt the heat of his breath on her nose. It was as humid as a dragon's, if not more so.

"So anxious," he drawled, staring straight into her eyes. His fingers squeezed her chin tightly and she cried out in discomfort. It only made him grin wider, a monster thriving on pain for pleasure. Terrible images bombarded her mind—if he transformed Charming into a pitiful frog, what would he do to her?

Red squirmed out of his grip and lurched her head forward to sink her teeth into the flesh of his hand. Her teeth scraped along his golden-gray skin as he twisted away, growling in pain. The taste of him made her gag and her stomach clenched and boiled worse than a pot of Granny's stew.

Instinctively, she loosened her jaws and spat him out. He tore away, his hand marred with vicious teeth marks. Even though she was still spitting from the wretched taste of him, Red couldn't help but smirk with victory. _If I'm going to be imprisoned here, I may as well fight back. _

Irises flashing with rage, his arm whipped up and he back-handed her across her jaw, sending her body flying against the stone wall. She landed awkwardly on her broken wrist and she bit her lip to stifle the cry of agony. Spots of black and red danced behind her eyelids, the room spinning back and forth.

In a second, he was on her, dragging her back up to her feet, her head still lolling from the brutal blow.

"That's not the first time someone's taken a chunk out of me," he snarled, his lips curling back into a sneer. All traces of glee and amusement had vanished. "If you had cooperated, I might have been willing to consider your freedom. Or, at the very least, healed that miserable wrist of yours."

Just to prove his power, he shoved her away and rubbed a hand across the torn flesh of his hand. A burst of shadow, illuminated with a seductive shade of violet, fogged over his wound. When he pulled his hand back, the teeth marks had vanished. Healed.

"But now…I think it can wait another day," he muttered.

Abruptly, he turned his back to her, leaving her in a cold heap on the ground. To her disbelief, he did not stomp right out like she expected of him. Instead, he paused on the threshold and gave her a last condescending look over his shoulder.

"By the way, you might want to keep away from the rats. They bite, too."

And then the cell door slammed closed, the whoosh of musty air extinguishing the torches. Red was left alone in the darkness, wondering how long it would be before he returned.

…..

"We are gathered here today…to mourn the loss of a dear friend. Snow White." Grumpy announced from the head of the circle. They never did find Charming, but they returned home safe. It was reaching midnight and it was cold, but the seven of them huddled outside. Even Jiminy had accompanied them home and drew out a small stitch of cloth from his little jacket so that he could blow his nose.

A glass coffin, empty of a body, was placed in the middle with a wreath of delicate flowers resting over it. It was a last tribute to Snow's memory. It was time they accepted the person she was would never return. She would want them to be happy.

Each of them sniffled back sobs as Grumpy hung his head with utmost sorrow, seeking the strength to continue. He couldn't do this—it was still too early for goodbye.

This hit him harder than the others, for he kept replaying their meeting, especially when he'd given up hope of ever again seeing the outside world and told her there was no way out of their prisons. _I'm Snow…and I'll find a way. Good luck, Grumpy. I hope you get your love back. _

One by one, he met the eyes of his brothers, all reflecting the same sadness that ate away at his heart in the moonlight.

"Perhaps…someone would like to say a few kind words. Sneezy?" Holding his damp sleeve to his nose, Sneezy stepped forward toward the glass coffin and rested a hand upon it. His shoulders quaked with grief.

At birth, each of them was told the same mantra: that dwarfs were incapable of experiencing the wonders of love. Grumpy had been the only exception, but now he realized it was the same for all of them, whether they knew it or not. Every one of them in this circle had loved Snow in some way. If Stealthy were still among them, Grumpy had no doubt he'd have loved her, too.

"Uh…this is not easy for any of us," Sneezy began and erupted into a violent sneezing attack. The flowers were nothing but a burden to him, but he did not complain once. "Back when she was still Snow, she…she dusted our house every morning. She made sure that my bed was extra-clean and had fresh sheets and that the food was cooked just right for me. She never brought hay into the house or teased me about sneezing too many times. She was…the nicest woman I've had the fortune to meet. I'll miss her."

Sneezy blew his nose on his sleeve and stepped back to allow the others to speak their last words. It traveled in a circle around the coffin—Doc recounted on how Snow taught him about the usefulness of herbs in the forest, knowledge she'd acquired from Red; Sleepy was wide awake for once as he told of how Snow would sing him to sleep with a soothing lullaby; Dopey simply burst into tears. Sneezy offered him his sleeve and Dopey snorted into it long and hard.

And then it was Grumpy's turn.

He knew he would never forgive himself if he never spoke about Snow. Clasping his hands, he inched forward, catching everyone's attention. He gazed down at the wreath of flowers and recalled how white roses had always been Snow's favorite.

"Snow White…was the most considerate, brave, loving person ever to walk the Enchanted Forest. And I'm not just saying that because she's lost to us. No, she always put the needs of others before her own, even if it meant her suffering. There was never a battle that she cowered from. Why, when Stealthy…died…and I'd been caught by King George's men, Snow was willing to take the fall for me so that I may have my freedom!"

At the mention of Stealthy, more tears were inevitably shed. They never held a proper ceremony for their slain brother. Walking to the edge of their house, Grumpy retrieved Stealthy's old pickaxe and laid it alongside the wreath. _Goodbye, Stealthy. _

Grumpy bowed his head before he went on.

"And when Snow spoke of love, whether she held it in her palm or not, it was filled with so much hope and so much light…it made you want to venture out into the world and find it for yourself. The way she never asked for help even though she needed it, the way her face would blush the softest pink as the evening sunset when she was happy, the way she smiled because someone required comfort..."

Grumpy's throat constricted as he pictured Snow laughing along with them at the head of their table. There would always be an empty seat for her now. Their cabin would certainly get filthy without her cleaning skills.

"In all my years, I will never forget her. The ache will remain, but as I once said to Snow. I need my pain. It will remind me every day that she was here for a time. She was as much a friend, as much our _sister_ as Stealthy was our brother. There will never be another dwarf like Stealthy. There will never be another Snow White. May you both rest in peace and find happiness in a better world."

And, long into the night, without a single bright star in the sky to guide them, the dwarfs proceeded to bury the casket.

...

The sun had barely reached its peak and he was already dealing. It was going to be a long day for him, Snow could tell. Those kinds of days always left him angst-ridden and in a dark mood, depending on the rate of fools that struck his nerve. There was always at least one.

Snow could hear the murmurs as she marched down the marble staircase. There was her husband's hissing, shrill tone, of course. And an unfamiliar voice of the unfortunate customer; this one timid and belonging to a man.

Acid dripped from Rumpelstiltskin's voice—he was upset. And it was never good when he was upset, at least for his customers.

As she neared the entrance hall, words began to rise up to meet her.

"Please, spare me! I only wanted to—"

"You only wanted to steal from my gardens and escape with your life, dearie. Too afraid to face me? In my book, that's a sign of cowardice," Rumpelstiltskin retorted. Oh, yes. His anger was brimming dangerously, close to overflowing.

Who would be idiotic enough to steal from the most powerful being in the realms?

"Problems, darling?" Snow stepped into the main hall, though she did not approach his chair. The two men—one a servant—glanced up at her and their eyes pleaded for her help. Too bad she was unwilling to give it.

"Ah, Snow. How lovely of you to join us," Rumpelstiltskin drawled without revealing himself from behind his chair. "These men decided to steal some of my rapunzel."

Snow arched an eyebrow. What would anyone want with an herb like rapunzel? She herself never acquired a taste for it.

"Princess Abigail's condition is declining! Rapunzel is all she craves now," the nobleman explained. Abigail? So these people were from Midas' kingdom. Not one of Rumpelstiltskin's favorite territories.

"When Midas made that deal with me, I promised him his precious daughter would live long enough to birth her child. I never promised she wouldn't suffer through it. Regardless, he knows what he owes me." The servant's face paled.

Snow rolled her eyes. Weaklings. Fools. Traitors. Why couldn't everyone simply pay their debts? She'd much prefer not to listen to his ranting in the middle of the night.

"I'm not sure he…Perhaps…I can reason with him. If you'll just give us the rapunzel," the nobleman begged Rumpelstiltskin, practically leaping over the table in his desperation. Snow shook her head pitifully. _It doesn't look like you'll be walking out of here. At least, not the way you came in. _

Rumpelstiltskin slapped his hands down on the table and the servant jumped a mile in his boots.

"Oh, so Midas sent you all the way here to steal _and _give me the bad news? Oh, dear. That's just not going to work." Snow wondered if these men realized how close he was to snapping. If they did, they wouldn't be seated. They'd be running for the door.

"Please. A few more days at most! Midas knows what will happen if he breaks the deal. Princess Abigail—"

"Will wither away like a pretty little flower. Quite like the one I procured for Midas. I've assured that she will birth her child. What happens after that is up to him. Might I make a suggestion? Your little princess would make a lovely garden statue." Rumpelstiltskin cackled menacingly. "Isn't that right, Snow?"

Rumpelstiltskin's hand stretched into view, beckoning her forward. The train of her dress whispered on the cold floor as she dutifully took to his right side, her hand coming to rest in his. Gently, he lifted it to his lips, his eyes gleaming as he kissed it and put on a teasing show for their guests.

"That's right," she agreed. "A deal is a deal, boys. And deals are always honored."

Snow wagged her finger accusingly at them. Their eyes widened and the nobleman shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Did he sense the darkness ebbing from her, too?

"Midas is prepared to give you anything. He will give you gold. Hand-made." Snow knew he was trying to lighten the situation. Trying to squirm out of their deal. He was just epically failing at it. "You know…because he….his hand…" The nobleman gestured awkwardly to his hand. Did he really think them that oblivious? "Yes, he will give you all the gold you could ever want, to do with as you please. Just not the child."

Rumpelstiltskin slightly turned his head to Snow. Oh, boy—there was that crucial lift of the corners of his lips and the way his body seemed to still. It was miniscule; the men most likely did not catch any difference in his behavior. But she did.

"Snow, would you be so kind as to inform this man of the unfortunate problem with his generous offer?"

Grinning, Snow crossed to the spinning wheel settled near the window and gathered a heap of golden thread in her arms. She thrust it under the man's face and wrenched his head forward by his hair.

"Do you know what this is?" The man's eyes boggled as he stared down at the threads of gold. His face was nearly buried in it. The servant looked like all his dreams had come true.

"Uh…the failed attempt of a new dress?" Snow clenched the man's hair and slammed his head on the table. It made a sharp crack that echoed along the hall. Rumpelstiltskin snickered as the nobleman tried to stand up, but his legs turned to jelly.

"Be careful not to hit him too hard, dearie. With those legs, he'll most likely think he's a mermaid. And then he'll drown," he pointed out, though he didn't sound too alarmed by the scenario. He actually sounded gleeful.

The nobleman regained his balance and rubbed his forehead.

"I'll give you a second chance. Only because I think you're rather handsome," Snow said, daring to caress the nobleman's cheek with the back of her hand. Rumpelstiltskin bristled in his seat—this was not part of his plan. Oops. _"Do you know what this is?"_

The nobleman gazed down at the extended gold again. His face was turning red from where his head had hit the table.

"Our parting gifts?" Snow raised her hand to hit him again. He scurried away from her. "It's gold! Gold!" Snow smiled, a sickly sweet twist of her lips.

"And why would we need gold when we already have so much here? My husband spins more than he could ever spend. Even when he goes to the market for his monthly leather pants shopping spree." The men inevitably glanced at Rumpelstiltskin's infamous leather attire.

"In my defense, the market is quite generous with their sales. All I have to do is point a finger and I get everything fifty percent off," he said in a sing-song manner. The man held up his hands in surrender, his body trembling.

"Very well—no gold! He'll give you…land! Any land in the kingdom," the nobleman declared. Rumpelstiltskin waved the offer away impatiently.

"I have all the land I'll ever need…right here." He tapped a finger against the table.

Was it just her or did the shadows clinging to the walls somehow grow darker and more menacing than before? This poor man must have noticed it as well since his eyes darted wildly around the hall. And the beast they were searching for was sitting casually in a chair, smirking at their discomfort.

"A deal's a deal. I want that baby. Nothing more…nothing less."

The nobleman's eyes suddenly narrowed at the dealmaker and that earlier strand of courage returned. His eyes flickered to Snow and this time, the expression was not the least bit friendly.

"What, your wife's no good? Or are you bedding her at all?" The nobleman boldly snapped with not an ounce of regret. Idiot. Snow arched an eyebrow inquisitively. _And here I assumed the family jewels were nonexistent. _

Rumpelstiltskin was stiff in his chair, quaking with rage. Snow could feel it, heavy and hot emanating from him. She covered her lips to hide her wicked smile. _Last time it was Grumpy and he was given two wooden legs. What will it be this time? A garden gnome? _

Instead, Rumpelstiltskin rose to full height, the chair scraping across the floor in a terrible, ear-splitting screech. He swept toward the nobleman, a snake closing in on its prey. In that instant, Snow knew this man was going to die. _Why do I never have popcorn ready for the good stuff? _

"Some people—take Midas, for example—do not believe in killing the messenger. Too messy," Rumpelstiltskin said as he came within a foot of the nobleman. Snow could see the apprehension on his face now. "I, however, do believe in it. Do you know why?"

The man broke into a cold sweat, his skin sickly pale in the sunlight. Snow perched on the edge of the table, a spectator in Rumpelstiltskin's little game.

"Because the messenger turns out to be an annoying imbecile who steals rapunzel, insults your wife, and this is an easy way to solve the problem?" Snow decided to throw in her two cents, if only for fun. Rumpelstiltskin pivoted in her direction.

"That," he agreed, pointing an exquisite finger to her. "And…it _sends_ a _message_."

As swift as a rattlesnake, Rumpelstiltskin's golden hands grabbed either side of the man's head and twisted sharply. There was a sickening crack of bone and the man's body collapsed to the floor.

Snow hardly flinched. After all, just look what she'd done to their maid.

"I'm not picking that up," she protested, nudging her foot against the dead man's head. Rumpelstiltskin spun to face her, the sadistic glee brightening his features considerably.

"Don't be silly, Snow. Of course you are. You're the caretaker," he reminded her. Snow laid the thread of gold on the table—in the heat of the moment, she had forgotten she'd been holding it close to her chest. _You know, that man did have something there. I wonder if Rumpelstiltskin could make me a golden dress. _

"Yes, I am your caretaker. Of your estate. That—" she pointed to the dead guy on their floor—"was _not_ in my job description." Snow stared back at him coolly. Worst case scenario, he could whisk it away with magic.

"Wh…what about the…rapunzel?" _Oh, yes, _Snow mused. _I forgot about the servant. Maybe we could hire him. And then Rumpelstiltskin can see how it feels to be jealous of the help. _

"Have you ever heard of my delivery service? Thirty minutes or less, my guarantee. Unfortunately, it comes with a little shipping fee," Rumpelstiltskin quipped. The servant glanced down at the dead body and became paralyzed with raw fear. "You. Clean that up," he ordered, snapping his fingers.

"Feel free to choose any spot in the garden," Snow chimed in. "Or you could bring him home to Midas. He can turn him into one of those golden fountain statues that spit water." The servant still wasn't moving. Was he even breathing?

"Hurry up, man. I'm not getting any younger here," Rumpelstiltskin growled as the servant finally bent to heft up the body under his arms. Snow heard him mutter something about getting paid for this. Maybe she should send Midas a fruit basket for his loss.

"You're not aging, either," Snow pointed out. She leaned toward him and flicked a strand of his lanky hair from his face. _Age is but a number, right? _Rumpelstiltskin grinned down at her.

"I know, dearie. Imagine being married to someone who looks this good every morning," he boasted, smoothing down his leather cloak. Snow twisted a strand of his hair around her finger and tilted her face up to him.

And then she stopped to stare at the piece of hair locked in her grip.

"Is that…a gray hair?"

Rumpelstiltskin frowned and pulled away, patting his hair preciously. Every strand was set perfectly in place. Gods knew he took up an hour in the bathroom in the morning just fixing it. He was worse than any woman she'd seen, including the Queen.

"I've never been gray, darling. And I'm not about to start," he insisted. Snow gaped at his hair, as if it were transforming before her very eyes. Her rosy lips parted in a wave of shock.

"I hope you have a potion for hair color," she hinted. Rumpelstiltskin stiffened in place, his face growing worried. Hastily, he crossed to the mirror in the corner of the hall and peered into it. Honestly, he was checking every individual strand.

Snow couldn't hold it in anymore—she burst out laughing. A cruel smile played on her lips as she slapped a hand on the table with the wracking gales of laughter. Oh, her hormones were on a new high this morning.

Rumpelstiltskin whirled back to her, peeved.

"Very amusing, Snow. Just wait until tonight in the bedroom," he warned her. "What will you do if I refuse your whims?" Snow leaned her body against the table, her curves in full view just for show. How could anyone refuse?

The castle door opened again and the servant stood panting on the threshold. His face was red from the effort of dragging the body away and he was huffing like a wolf. Rumpelstiltskin stared at him curiously.

"Did you want a tip?" The servant cleared his throat after catching his breath. He only managed to slip into a hacking cough. Snow scrunched her nose—that old servant had better not pass on any germs.

"No, sir…I was wondering…what will I tell King Midas?" The guy wrung his hands together nervously, scuffling his shoes on the floor. Rumpelstiltskin tented his fingers under his nose and feigned consideration.

"You can tell your dear old Midas that I shall be visiting him tonight to discuss his concerns over our deal. And that you were chased from my castle with a broom." The servant tilted his head in confusion. Snow sighed. _Here we go. Must he do this every time? _

"A broom?"

Rumpelstiltskin gestured his hand to Snow. Immediately, she strode across the room and grabbed the broom that was left neglected against the wall. Coming up behind the servant, she whipped the broom across the back of his head.

The servant went sprawling to the ground, but he was up and running within seconds while Snow dashed after him, waving the broom like a madwoman. She'd never seen a customer run so quickly down that mountain trail.

Snow halted on the threshold and released a frustrated breath.

"That's the second time this month I've chased someone out with a broom," she moaned. She lowered the broom so that she didn't appear so much as a maniac. Rumpelstiltskin snickered behind her and glided over to her.

"Now, Snow. We both know you enjoyed it," he taunted her, pointing an accusing finger toward her face. Snow frowned and made to bite it, but he wrenched it out of her reach. "Ooh…feisty, are we?" At least he was amused by this and not grumbling about how the world was out to get him.

"And you know what? You're right—I did enjoy it. Gods help that man if he ever comes back," she murmured, tapping the handle of the broom against the floor. And all she wanted to do was take a trip to the market.

"We certainly make a good team," he said, stroking a finger down her spine. His hands came to rest on her hips, massaging gently. Snow smiled darkly.

"Yes, we do. Which reminds me." Snow dropped the broom and wrapped her arms around his neck. She urged his face down to her, but instead of kissing him she whispered in his ear._ "I'm pregnant." _

…


End file.
